My Nonprofit Reviews

One day in June 2007 I came home from work to find my husband in the garage, dead by suicide. Our son heard my screams and rushed over. He had just turned 14. He saw the suicide scene.

I was broken but had no time to grieve. I had to take care of my son and help him to heal. Following my son’s wish, within two weeks we moved to my home country. Financially it was a disaster, I quit my job and sold all our properties for little money. I was a certified psychologist, but after failing as a wife and as a professional I was no longer able to work in my field.

In 2008 I found the AOH forum and it became my lifeline. Looking back, I think that the AOH forum really was the best therapy for me. It gave me something that no professional is able to offer: Hundreds of true stories of suicide loss survivors. I started to divide them into two categories: Cases with no signs, where the suicide came out of the blue, and cases with previous signs of mental illness. The former showed me how unpredictable suicide may be, the latter how difficult suicide is also for professionals to prevent: “I had him committed to a psychiatric hospital. He was released within 5 days, and less than 24 hours later, he completed…”; “My 16yo son died by suicide… We spent 2 years trying to help him battle OCD. We had just brought him home from psych hospital 4 days earlier.”; “She was struggling very badly but was diligently working hard in treatment.”; “He saw a therapist even before he started talking about being depressed and when that wasn't enough he saw a psychiatrist and started taking antidepressants.” Eventually, my guilt surrendered to so much evidence. Thank you, AOH!