When my husband took his life, I was broken and shocked beyond words. His death left me without my best friend, companion, love and my young children without a father. Other losses came steadily in all areas of life.
Mourning this loss is a unique and complex. I have known many losses in my life; nothing compares to this. The isolation and stigma are very real. The people I expected to be the most supportive disappeared after the last casserole dish was returned. I have learned this is not a unique experience. So, where does a devastated person turn? Thank God for the Alliance of Hope. A member quickly learns that any guilt, fear, a host of other emotions & experiences are not that unique. Not in this world. They're still painful, but what a relief to find comfort & understanding! Those who have built lives of meaning after this loss, share experiences and hope. They prove a real life is possible. Support and help are here 24/7. At some of the hardest times, holidays, the trained moderators are available for support.
There aren't enough words to express how much the Alliance of Hope means to me. How do you explain what being able to live and having hope for a full life means?
I lost my husband to suicide. I was going through a very difficult time when a good friend of mine suggested I find a group to connect with who have also lost someone to sucide. The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors Forum has goes above and beyond my expectations. At first I was afraid about broadcasting my personal thoughts and feelings, however, the members on the forum have been very caring, supportive, and understanding for me. They helped me feel comfortable when I did not. The members on the Forum have given me a place to share with them and they understand and know how painful my circumstances are because they have had similar experiences and can relate to my feelings. Now, I feel better in my skin and I can also send love and caring thoughts to others in need which makes me feel good about myself.
The forum on Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors (AOH) has proven to be a tremendous resource for me during a very difficult time in my life. I have met people on the site who have experiences similar to mine, and who have helped me in countless ways. I know there is someone to share with online virtually any hour of any day, and that person will be supportive and understanding. I have also found satisfaction in helping others as best I can. AOH is a blessing.
As the one-year anniversary of my 17-year-old son's suicide is slowly and quickly approaching, I look back and cannot be grateful enough for the lifelines I still have left. Alongside my only surviving daughter, local support groups, my psychologist and walks with a fellow suicide loss survivor, Alliance of Hope continue standing as an absolute necessity to my survival. It is only within this tiny circle that I feel safe to share this most challenging journey that have twists and turns when least expected. No other family member, friends, coworkers, etc. could even remotely understand. Some expect me to keep a stiff upper lip and move on as if life is still great and grand. This unreasonable expectation came from some almost immediately after his sudden and unexpected death. Only other suicide loss survivors can understand the horrific challenges we continue to face. The beauty of Alliance of Hope is that it is available 24/7. It allows us to find others with similar losses because those are the ones we can connect with most – each loss comes with its own set of issues. I don’t know where I would be without Alliance of Hope.
I found this site while searching for answers after I lost my son to suicide April 14, 2017. I have found this site to have many kind loving people who thru their own journey have found words of wisdom to share with me and others. To go through losing a loved one to suicide is so awful, hard and lonely. Having somewhere to go anytime of the day and reach out to others helps a little with not feeling so lonely . I am so grateful for this website!
I stumbled across Alliance of Hope a week after my sister took her life after doing a search for support forums for those who have lost someone to suicide. I received responses very quickly after I posted on AOH and have found all the members and moderators to be full of compassion empathy and understanding, something that is so needed when you lose a loved one in such a tragic way. I have yet to find any in person therapy or support groups close to where I live because I reside in the desert and everything is spread out and takes a long time to commute to. I am so grateful for AllianceofHope.com for making me feel so at home and cared about. There are times my grief hits me hard and it's such a comfort to have somewhere to express my sadness day or night.
Alliance of Hope has been like a lighthouse in the raging storm of what it is to lose someone you love to suicide. Even before I was ready to join the community I came and stayed on this site, everyday and sometimes all day, just to get me through the first three to four weeks.
I needed help. I needed understanding. I needed love, acceptance and reassurance that this experience was just as awful as I thought it was, but that I would be okay. Alliance of Hope gave me all of that and more.
It is a grace by itself, and yet that it is a free resource makes it a salvation. I am one of those who lives pay check-to-paycheck. I would never have even considered trying to find space in my budget to help me with what is a truly, near unbearable grief, because I simply wouldn't be able to afford it. I have needed this support more than I could have known and that it was available to me on this website just makes me feel lucky. Lucky to be heard. Lucky not to be alone.
I am so glad that Alliance of Hope exists. No one wishes this site was necessary, but everyday I'm grateful that it is there anyway.
I can not tell you what Alliance of Hope has meant to me. After losing my son to suicide I was all alone to deal with the aftermath and complexity that comes with the grief with suicide. Unfortunately those around you do not want to discuss or hear of your loss. They do not understand how difficult it is to work through the loss of someone you love who has taken their own life. There are over 12,000 members unfortunately on the site with too many members joining weekly. But once you introduce yourself you will be met with compassion and understanding. It is a judgment free community of support from people who have all loss someone to suicide. I can guarantee you this that if I did not find Alliance I would not be where I am today. I am early on in my journey but with the help of my virtual travelers I will heal to the best of my abilities.
I am so grateful for this loving, caring community. I never thought I would need to find such a group however, here I am. I have gotten so much support just from reading other's posts and from responses on posts that I have written. I don't post a lot, mainly because it is sometimes hard to find the words, but when I do, I know that there are many people that fully understand the pain and can encourage me. Without this group, I'm not sure I could cope as well as I have!
AOH has been an exceptional help for me to feel not so alone. There is nothing I could really do to thank everyone for support .
In my family we were not told what happened,just that she died.I was a child of 7,when my mother committed suicide and 3 months before took the life of my baby brother...AOL even has a special forum for murder/love suicide. Sad but so soft to land my feelings here. My dear dad had so much love and concern yet could never speak of this. Hurts to imagine his hurt. Eventually as an adult I tried to get some answers as I have never really grieved ,yet felt so tangled up inside. Finding AOL has given me a listening ear in a way not to feel so alone and that my feelings are valid and it is ok to talk of them with others in this community of sadness from loss of this kind. It's like an oasis in a desert. A sip of water to help me through some difficult feelings. Untangling my emotions after so many years is also like a breath of fresh air. I still cannot talk to anyone face to face about this, where I have tried in the past to not feeling they understand.so this gives me the privacy in some ways to face myself with kind people.
Alliance of Hope has been a tremendous resource for me in the aftermath of my son's suicide. The forum site is well run and moderated, which equates to making it a safe place to share. The forum members provide so much understanding and suppport that I was not finding in other places. There is even skype counseling available if you need it. This organization provides connections to other resources as well - like local support groups, books to read etc. I can not say enough positive things about Alliance of Hope. It is sad for when new members join, for the reason they have to be there, but I am glad this resource is there for them.
I lost friends family members to suicide I think of them and miss them daily I tried many times myself but it never worked not a day goes by I xobt think of them and want to be with them but then I think of how it affected us and how my fAmily would feel how it may hurt them
My son took his life in September 2014 on what would have been his first day of high school. I found AoH about 2 months later. I watched the forum and read posts for a couple weeks and discovered there were so many people like me -- trying to heal, trying to help family members heal, trying get re-grounded. I joined a couple weeks later and have found unparalleled encouragement, support, healing, wisdom, and hope.
After losing our dad by suicide in January 2015, I was searching online for support groups for myself and my brother in our respective communities. I found weekly meetings in his area, but where I live meetings are only held monthly. During that search, I found Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors and joined immediately. Unfortunately a few days later, my brother also succumbed to suicide. AoH was an incredible support during those devastating days. Reading and writing posts there kept me going in the following days, weeks, and months. Alliance of Hope is an invaluable resource for the loved ones of those who die by suicide.
The only thing that has remotely helped so far. So grateful that this site exists. Losing someone you love to suicide is so isolating. This site reaches far and wide to show you, you are very much not alone.
I accidently stumbled across AOH on the web after being blindsided by the suicide of my son in 2014. Everyone greeted with me with open compassionate hearts. Family, friends, and church members had no idea of what it was like to go through suicide loss. I was all alone, until I found AOH that morning. I immediately realized that yes, I could survive this and someone did understand! Here was real help & hope, not just the standard clichés you get when someone dies. And someone is always here 24/7 to reach out. I will forever be grateful to AOH.
I am happy to share my experiences with the life-saving nonprofit, The Alliance of Hope.
As you might expect, I experienced the greatest shock and the greatest pain of my life when my husband died. There were no warnings. He showed no classic signs of suicide, with which I am familiar. I am surrounded by a loving and supportive family. I have an excellent therapist and Doctor. But, I needed something more and I wasn't sure what that was.
In-person support groups were not an option for me.
I spent a lot of time reading articles on the possible causes of suicide, reviewed statistics, read studies. All this reading left me feeling more terrified and alone.
Somehow I tripped across this site. I was immediately relieved to learn I wasn't losing my mind, to see others truly understood.
This site is monitored 24/7 by trained moderators. There is no fee to join. You don't even have to "sign up"; you have still access to information & help. All are anonymous here. The website is concise and precise. It is easy to navigate.
The first time I posted, I was overwhelmed by the support and genuine care I received. I also learned some good tips that were easy to follow to help myself. I became a more active member, posting questions, concerns, deepest fears.
There is a lot of mystery and misinformation about suicuide. Whether it's a news report or a movie, one is lead to believe suicide results from one singular event. This adds to the confusion and horror to those directly touched by suicide.
It's right that people who are suicidal have access to immediate help and hopefully receive it.
There's one group that's overlooked - that's us. Those left behind in the wake of this tragic loss. Professionals in the medical and counseling fields often not know what to do with us or how to help. More isolation and fear is often the result.
AOH addresses the needs and concerns of us. I could find no other online resource for those who lost a loved one due to suicide.
There are many worthy nonprofits out there. But, our group is a solo group that tends to the needs to such a vulnerable group. There are no walk-a-thons or ribbons to "raise awareness" for us.
If you have lost a loved one because of suicide, this is the ONLY online resource you will need. We understand.
If you are trying to help a child, friend, coworker that has been touched by this tragedy, please visit for insight.
It is not an exaggeration to say AOH saved my life and, by extension, the lives of my children.
Thanks for reading this!
As is often people's experience, I found AOH at a time when I most needed a compassionate online community of people who shared my uniquely life-altering experience. I was immediately enfolded by compassion, empathy and a feeling of safety to express even my darkest emotions without judgement. Responses to my posts were generous and timely providing me with strength that I could hardly muster myself.
Members on AOH are at various points in their journeys, from the very new to many years out. I found there was/is something to be learned from each post as I read them. There is never any pressure to respond or write a post-any person is welcome to simply take what they need until they are ready to participate. Everyone can feel comfortable according to "where they are" at any particular moment.
The Alliance of Hope Forum is a collective consciousness on a shared journey to try to turn back into life after the anguish of losing a loved one to death by suicide. There is at least as much light, if not more, as there is darkness in the sharing of each person's struggles and accomplishments, large and small. It feels like hope eventually becomes part of every personal story.
The AOH Forum is moderated with professionalism and attention to all of the details surrounding a public Internet Forum. Infrequent issues that come up are addressed immediately so that members feel as secure as possible. Navigation on the site is user-friendly.
The AOH founder and Clinician, Ronnie Walker, is amazing in every way as are all staff members!
I found my brother hanging in the attic in 2012. My life fell apart. I found that when I talked to people they either walked away or didn't really understand. I discovered Alliance of Hope and find that this site is a great help at times when I am low and talking freely with people who have gone through similar experiences helps me offload and get through it. I also feel that helping others gives me a sense that I can be strong despite the trauma of surviving my loss.
My beautiful daughter completed suicide shortly before Christmas, 2015. I discovered the Alliance of Hope in January, 2016, when I was laid up, recovering from multiple surgeries. I have read their stories and listened to what others who are going through what I am, or have traveled this terrible path longer than I have. I can honestly attest that this site has kept me alive up until now, as at first I only wished to be with my deceased child. There is no way I could have made it without the knowledge and understanding of others who have lived through the aftermath of a suicide, all of us suffering these tragic losses of such dearly beloved family and friends. It is so crucial to we survivors to have a place which offers this empathy and understanding, and the Alliance of Hope surely provides that.