My Nonprofit Reviews

In July I received the news that my only sibling and baby brother had made the choice to end his life. Aside from being the first loss for me (of a loved one) it was so much more. More than words can express - I was lost, grief stricken, full of raw emotions that were so unfamiliar to me. Still 3 months later I experience these same feelings. Several weeks after my loss I found The Alliance of Hope forum - WHAT a saving grace! In my day to day life no one person around me understood the profound loss I had just experienced. I do not know one other person to loose a loved one to suicide - so for those people they did not know what to say or how to support me. I heard so much cliche' stuff and even some very hurtful statements from well intention people...but no one knew the horrible sadness around loosing someone you love to suicide. To think day in and day out that someone you love SO much made a choice to leave you and leave in such a state of shock and endless pain is boggling to the mind. Add this to the manner in which my brother decided to end his life - the vision of a loved one with gun shot wounds is nothing your mind is supposed to ever attempt to process. The grief, the loneliness, the helplessness, the confusion, the anger, all of the raw emotion you suddenly have but do not understand what to do with it...I found the support I needed right in this forum. Beautiful and loving people that wrapped me in love and support and knew exactly how I felt. Just being able to talk to someone that truly understands the depth of your sorrow eases some of the pain. I can never ever put into words what this forum has done for me as a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, and now an only child. Thank you Alliance of Hope for being right there when I need you most!

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