My Nonprofit Reviews

When I lost my Veteran husband, retired SFC Anthony Oxford to suicide in June 2020, I turned to the usual government agencies/offices to obtain guidance and direction. As he was already retired, I wasn't afforded a casualty officer to guide me through the quagmire one suffers when losing a loved one. Frankly, I was drowning in my shock and grief. I drove on as best as I could; when you don't know what you don't know, it's impossible to ask the right questions. I merely followed my instincts and the advice of others who couldn't relate to a military suicide loss.

I ended up joining a civilian support group, within a couple of weeks, and when I attended my first group meeting, I was peppered with military related questions and asked to provide definitions for military acronyms. After the meeting, I called the facilitator back and advised that I wouldn't be returning. I didn't feel as if it was the right fit, for me. She asked if I had ever heard of TAPS, to which I replied "What is that?" She proceeded to tell me that "... they are a support group who works with the military" and gave me their contact information. Another week passed and I decided to give TAPS a try. I enrolled online in late August 2020 and, within a couple of days, started receiving emails and phones calls (it's part of their standard outreach process). In September 2020, I received an email inviting me to attend their 'new to loss' seminar; six-week Zoom group support meetings (due to COVID, Zoom was the only option). This was my first interaction with TAPS. I had never responded to the emails and phone calls. I, often, look back to that time and regret ignoring their early outreach efforts. I could've saved myself a lot of additional heartache.

I attended my first TAPS in-person seminar, a regional event, in May 2021; the Mountain Regional in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I can honestly say they had me at "welcome!" No military questions, they spoke my grief language and could relate to a lot of what I was going through. I remember thinking that I would attend all three days and see how I felt afterwards. It's been over three years and I've attended three Mountain Regionals, three National Suicide Survivor Seminars, three National Seminars and, although not registered, popped into the Southern Regional, recently, as well.

Everything TAPS does is intentional. Peer mentors are assigned to 'like' mentees which is only one example; there are too many to count. We can relate to a lot of what each other is experiencing or will experience so it makes sense to match us up. The care given to the survivors is always considered first and foremost and it's reflected in everything they do.

Becoming part of the community was the best decision I have made since my loss. I consider TAPS not only my family, but they were my life savers!!!!! I am now, proudly, a Peer Mentor and promote TAPS at every given opportunity.