TAPS has been there always in our time of need after the death of my son CPL Dustin Derga USMC in May 2005. The unconditional, genuine love and care TAPS members provide grieving military families is a God send. in their time of need. They helped us so much to navigate through our own grief journey. TAPS addresses a need that no other organization can come close. All TAPS members have experienced a military death and know all so well the pain and issues military families face. It is through the volunteers that have gone before us that we are able to move forward in our own grief. We are honored to volunteer for TAPS and help pay forward this incredible gift to others.
I found TAPS in 2017 after my brother Micah died by suicide. Since then, I’ve been given a second life full of new ‘grief friends’ and trusted mentors. I will never replace my brother, but TAPS has replaced my despair and loneliness with a vast network of new friendships, like an extended family. TAPS continues to play an important role in my journey for post-traumatic growth. I am now a peer mentor giving back to the community and co-lead the TAPS Headquarters monthly care group. I have been blessed to join my TAPS family for many healing grief seminars (some specific to suicide loss), sponsored adventure trips to Alaska and Las Vegas, local DC sporting events, and much more. TAPS is leading the national conversation on suicide prevention and postvention, and I am so thankful to be at the heart of this mission. TAPS leaders actively advocate with media and corporations for safe language around suicide deaths, promote help for survivors, and provide healing connections that cannot be found anywhere else. Grief is love. Love is life. And life is worth living. I am TAPS. ❤️
I've been involved with TAPS for nearly 10 years. After my brother died in 2013, I was lost and alone. TAPS was like a honing beacon where I found love, support, acceptance, and a family. Since then, I've felt a calling to give back. I've become a peer mentor and co-host a monthly care group. Even with these actions, I know I will never repay what TAPS has provided me.
When we found TAPS after our tragic loss of our son, brother, uncle & father, Cpl. Adam F. Vendzules, USMC, our family found a strong grief support system for our military family, a truly caring, safe environment to be with other military families who "get it." Bonnie Carroll and the TAPS team , through their in-person Seminars, Good Grief Camp for children, on-line workshops, encompass all of us with the upmost warmth of compassion, community and love, bringing us hope to get through the dark shadows of grief and the beginnings of healing - every grieving person on earth needs these people - TAPS!
Carol & Peter Vendzules & family
Proud Family of Cpl. Adam F. Vendzules, USMC
The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is a shining beacon for military families and survivors. With a broad array of services, they provide essential support for those who've lost loved ones in military service. TAPS' compassionate staff and volunteers offer expertise and understanding, creating a vital sense of community through events and support groups. They cater to children's needs, ensuring no one is left to face grief alone. TAPS also assists with accessing resources and advocates for policies that benefit survivors. In a nutshell, TAPS is a lifeline, offering hope, support, and community to those who've sacrificed for their country.
T.A.P.S. is an organization that supports Gold Star Survivors. if you are a family member, a battle buddy, or a relative of a loved one who has passed away in service to their Country, T.A.P.S. is there for you to counsel, to Love, and to share your unique grief journey with you. When we lost our beautiful son on that fateful day in 2019, T.A.P.S. reached out to help and support us. Through T.A.P.S. we have learned how to use the tools they have given us to grow and to push forward through our grief. We have met countless people who have also suffered through this great loss and have learned along with them how to live our lives to honor and celebrate those incredible people who had the courage and the unfathomable Love of Country to make the ultimate sacrifice so that we can live in peace and prosperity. We have made lifelong friends through this organization who have shared in our grief and our journey. Ms. Bonnie and her staff will never know the heartfelt thanks we feel for her and this great organization. T.A.P.S is always there 24 hours a day for us through just a phone call. They are literally saving lives. Had they not reached out to us just those few short years ago, I shudder to think where we would be right now. They have helped to celebrate and honor the life of our precious son ETN1 John Paul Fritz US Navy. We will remember always the "dash"; The years he gave us in his life from his date of birth to the date of his untimely death. Those precious years lead us to celebrate a life lived to its fullest. If you have lost a loved one who has served in the military and need help, please contact T.A.P.S. My wife Cathy and Myself will be eternally grateful to Ms. Bonnie and the entire staff of T.A.P.S. who continue to walk with and support us on our grief journey. Know that you are not alone in your grief. T.A.P.S. is there. With eternal thanks and Love to Ms. Bonnie and her Staff. John and Cathy Fritz, proud parents of ETN1 John Paul Fritz United States Navy.
TAPS in my opinion is the best organization out there for Families of the Fallen and Military personnel to be apart of. I have been a military mentor since 2015. I have been on multiple deployments, lost multiple friends and peers in combat and by suicide. I have experienced a lot of loss in my military career, and I can 100% say, the TAPS program has not just helped me mentally, it has helped me gain the skills to help others as well.
TAPS has been the one place that I have seen the impact military mentors have on the kids and even the adults. When a child asked me one time, if I am still in the Army and I said yes, she then asked why I am still alive. At TAPS, the military mentors have the ability to speak to the kids on their level, we help them process things that only those who have been in the uniform can do. Often children will ask about their person's military service, what certain awards mean, what their persons rank means, and we as mentors, can answer all those questions and help them see a bigger picture of their person’s military life. It is not just words or symbols that they see on paper anymore, there is more meaning behind all of it. As a mentor in TAPS, my extended family has grown exponentially, and I can not imagine where I would be if I didn’t have the TAPS family.
TAPS has been there for my family since shortly after my brother's death. Not only do I feel like I have grown so much personally because of this organization and the amazing other surviving siblings I have met, but I feel as though my family has grown tenfold out of so much tragedy. We were brought together by the worst day in each of our lives, but, through TAPS, we are held together with love, compassion, empathy, and understanding.
TAPS has been a cornerstone in my life for over a decade now. I am grateful for the support and opportunities they continually give to my family as we've grieved and grown out of loss. I especially appreciate that TAPS recognizes better than most that we all grieve differently but we don't want to grieve alone. TAPS is a leader in empowering survivors to help other survivors heal and maintains diverse programming that has something for everyone. Perhaps TAPS greatest gift to military survivors are the connections it helps us to make and sustain with one another; bringing us together across the miles to form a unique family of those who truly understand one another's experience.
TAPS is a wonderful organization that has proven time and time again that they are the go-to for grief and trauma resources after the death of a military or veteran loved one. Thankful to have been able to share my personal experience with them and share resources to others.
I was introduced to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), nearly 23 years ago, when my wife, Lieutenant Corinne J. Pellegrin, U.S. Navy, died unexpectedly from an unforeseen, service-related illness. The loss was almost unbearable, and each day after her death was like a perpetual gut-punch. The Navy Casualty Assistance Officer (CACO) was well intentioned, but his expertise on navigating my wife's service related death, was at best, marginal. As for helping me and my four children garner assistance in handling the emotions associated with the loss, the best thing he did, was put me in contact with TAPS. Within 72 hours, TAPS Founder & CEO, Bonnie Carroll was on the telephone with me and the kids. She spoke with me the next day, and the next, and continuously for days. She asked that we attend the TAPS National Seminar, and Good Grief Camp for my children. I was unsure of attending, but Bonnie was persistent. In summary, the seminar, and the camp were both an amazing, and healing experience. My children bonded with other kids who were experiencing their own loss, and each truly understood what the other was enduring. Importantly, I saw my four kids smiling, and I knew that we would get through this tragedy. That was nearly 23 years ago. Since then, I have been an "on-and-off" Peer Mentor with TAPS, aiding men who had just lost their wives, fiancées, girlfriends in the U.S. Armed Forces. From the inception of TAPS nearly thirty years ago, to today, TAPS has helped tens-of-thousands of grieving family and friends navigate their way to through their tragedy, guiding them to a place were hope and healing are the new norm. For anyone whose experienced that awful, dark, place of anguish, grieving the deep loss of a loved one, "HOPE" is the lifeline that guides us. TAPS not only provides that hopefulness, it also embraces the person, welcoming them into a compassionate, and healing-community, that will always be at your side, even years after the loss.
When I lost my Veteran husband, retired SFC Anthony Oxford to suicide in June 2020, I turned to the usual government agencies/offices to obtain guidance and direction. As he was already retired, I wasn't afforded a casualty officer to guide me through the quagmire one suffers when losing a loved one. Frankly, I was drowning in my shock and grief. I drove on as best as I could; when you don't know what you don't know, it's impossible to ask the right questions. I merely followed my instincts and the advice of others who couldn't relate to a military suicide loss.
I ended up joining a civilian support group, within a couple of weeks, and when I attended my first group meeting, I was peppered with military related questions and asked to provide definitions for military acronyms. After the meeting, I called the facilitator back and advised that I wouldn't be returning. I didn't feel as if it was the right fit, for me. She asked if I had ever heard of TAPS, to which I replied "What is that?" She proceeded to tell me that "... they are a support group who works with the military" and gave me their contact information. Another week passed and I decided to give TAPS a try. I enrolled online in late August 2020 and, within a couple of days, started receiving emails and phones calls (it's part of their standard outreach process). In September 2020, I received an email inviting me to attend their 'new to loss' seminar; six-week Zoom group support meetings (due to COVID, Zoom was the only option). This was my first interaction with TAPS. I had never responded to the emails and phone calls. I, often, look back to that time and regret ignoring their early outreach efforts. I could've saved myself a lot of additional heartache.
I attended my first TAPS in-person seminar, a regional event, in May 2021; the Mountain Regional in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I can honestly say they had me at "welcome!" No military questions, they spoke my grief language and could relate to a lot of what I was going through. I remember thinking that I would attend all three days and see how I felt afterwards. It's been over three years and I've attended three Mountain Regionals, three National Suicide Survivor Seminars, three National Seminars and, although not registered, popped into the Southern Regional, recently, as well.
Everything TAPS does is intentional. Peer mentors are assigned to 'like' mentees which is only one example; there are too many to count. We can relate to a lot of what each other is experiencing or will experience so it makes sense to match us up. The care given to the survivors is always considered first and foremost and it's reflected in everything they do.
Becoming part of the community was the best decision I have made since my loss. I consider TAPS not only my family, but they were my life savers!!!!! I am now, proudly, a Peer Mentor and promote TAPS at every given opportunity.
TAPS is a wonderful organization that is there in every way possible for the families of America's fallen heroes. As a survivor myself, I am honored to be connected to an organization that promises to provide care and resources to surviving families and follows through. Since 2013, I've had the opportunity to volunteer at their Good Grief Camp and witness the growth and healing of grieving children of all ages and backgrounds. Their support and resources for adult survivors is equally compelling, and I know that TAPS is changing lives and providing healing for so many families. For me, TAPS is a reminder that we are all connected and that we are never alone!
As a Marine combat Veteran living in the D.C. area, I was looking for impactful ways to volunteer locally this past spring and summer. After doing some research, I found TAPS - an organization that much to my surprise fulfills a critical function that our own government DOES NOT. That function being the ongoing comfort, care, and support to family members grieving the death of a military loved one.
Upon inquiry, Nancy Kaplan and her team welcomed me with warm arms and invited me to volunteer at their national seminar this past May. At the event, I was impressed by the shear number of families TAPS brings together from across the country to participate in counseling, peer support, and other incredible tailored programming. For me, the overall mission of TAPS truly hit home when I was assisting an older woman with her luggage to an elevator at the event. She informed me tearfully that her son was a Marine, and had died a few years earlier. She was recently divorced and lived by herself. I asked her how TAPS had helped her personally... without delay she replied - "I know I'm not alone now." It then hit home that there really is nothing like TAPS out there.
To think that my own dear mother would have suffered alone had I not made it back from Iraq without such an organization is shocking. Thankfully TAPS exists!
In the military, most of us just assume that if we die in service, our loved ones will be taken care of somehow... We never pause and think about the long-term emotional toll on the family... TAPS fulfills this critical gap in the aftermath of tragedy, where our own Military just isn't equipped to help out past the burial phase.
Without TAPS, these families would be worse off and we would be worse off as a nation. As a Veteran, I am so thankful it exists. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO HELP!
As a surviving fiancee, TAPS was my lifeline after the love of my life was killed in a motorcycle accident. The Air Force did an incredible job rendering final honors and laying him to rest. His unit surrounded me with love and support. Since we were five months away from our wedding, I was not next of kin and was very limited in what options were available to me. I have a phenomenal family and the most supportive friends, but it was my TAPS family that saved my life.
TAPS is my sanctuary when overwhelming grief emotions take over, and memories of him bring sadness and tears. It is also my safe space for sharing stories of joy, and laughter. My TAPS family is always there to help guide me to process my grief in a healthy and constructive way with others sharing a similar experience.
The organization needs a complete overhaul. Sponsors should look into where the funds are being spent. Leadership needs DEI training. Survivors see what is going on behind the curtain.
After suddenly and tragically losing my fiancé, when I was referred to TAPs it was a breath of fresh air in such a horrible, dark, devastating, and lonely place. As weird and confusing as this may sound, in spite of losing my fiancé, this was a beacon of hope for me to help me deal with my immense grief. I was really looking forward to the assistance with my grief that I thought that I’d be getting from there. TAPS is an extremely large, and extremely well put together organization with lots and lots of big name backers, both individuals and other companies and organizations alike, supporting TAPS financially, socially, legislatively, etc. and it’s because of that that TAPS is able to, and does, have the amount of information and resources, etc. that it does for those that are grieving the loss of a military family member. However having that immense amount of support and backing and resources is only as good as the program that employs them, and that is where TAPS is severely lacking. Nothing is full circle and everything, all of the resources and support that it has, and could have, to offer to loved ones of the fallen is nothing but totally and utterly disjointed, disconnected, and confabulated. It’s a bunch of loose ends with nothing tying it up, and thus it severely, severely, severely falls short in the help that it DOES offer to those that it’s supposed to serve and in best utilizing all of its resources and support to their fullest extent.
I believe it was the VA that told me about TAPS when my husband was in his accident. I have received support and met many new friends who I can relate with and also learn from since I lost my husband. He was/is a Marine Colonel (retired) and was killed almost 4 years ago in a tragic airplane crash on his way to Quantico to participate in a graduation ceremony. He lived and breathed the fellowship of the Marine Corps. My father was a Marine in WWII, my former son in law is retired from his position with the Marines as a Master Seargent. His father flew helicopters in the Marines. I'm a true "soldier" in honoring all service members. I got a good preview of the real world of being in military service when I served in the professional role as a Military Family Life Counselor. My first introduction to TAPS was at the National Seminar in DC 2 years ago. I received so much love at this event that it carried me through until I had the opportunity to participate in a Women's Empowerment Retreat in the North Carolina blue ridge mountains a few months later. I feel blessed to be a mentor now with TAPS and I look forward to reuniting at the next event, whether it be in person, Zoom, or online. I have a new mentee and I look forward to sharing my experience, strength and hope of survival through the journey of grief.
TAPS has been a wonderful source of support for my family for almost four years. Within a few weeks of my son's death, they were able to offer resources and reached out to offer personal contact. As a family we have utilized online resources as well as attending local & national seminars, retreats and our children love Good Grief Camp. It helps to have a community of people that understand and support one another. As surviving military siblings, my children have benefited greatly from the relationships they have formed with their military mentors. I feel honored to be able to pay it forward as a mentor and care group facilitator to support families like mine. TAPS and my own peer mentor helped me maintain hope during the lowest point in my life. It helped to know that I was not alone.
My family joined TAPS after my older brother passed away in 2015. TAPS has been a very instrumental part of my healing process. I attended a local Care Group at their HQ in Arlington, VA. I don't think I could have survived that first year without them. From the beginning, I felt like it was ok to be myself. I learned so much from hearing others share their experiences as well. I now volunteer and host a Care Group in my hometown, Houston. TAPS is doing a really great work in our country, helping military families through some of toughest times anyone can imagine.
TAPS helped save my family after my husband was killed in Afghanistan. It was the only place where all of his family was welcome, no matter the relationship. It was the place that welcomed me as his widow, all of his children (ours and his kids from his first marriage) and his ex-wife. Andbecause we could all come to grieve together, our bonds have all grown stronger. The six of us travel together, my boys and I moved to be closer, and our love for each other is profound in a special way because we all experienced the loss of the same man. TAPS gave us that. TAPS accepted our unusual family. TAPS made us feel like our experience was okay.
Being a young military widow with four kids was incredibly difficult. The tragedy assistance program for survivors was a lifesaver in a hurricane of pain and survival. My kids and I received much needed help and support we couldn't find anywhere else. I found peace and comfort, knowledge and understanding to cope, kindness and compassion that no one else could give. I love going to any TAPS events to find others like me and help them, like so many helped me. There really isn't a greater organization I could have asked for to help with these specific needs. Thank you TAPS.
My son Brandon was a Chief Petty Officer in the US Navy. When his life was taken away, our world shattered and we were lost. I found out about TAPS.org and they literally saved my life and the life of my wife. TAPS is our new family member and the caring and support that they give out is just so essential to the military survivor community. They have local, regional, and national seminars with workshops that help us so much in dealing with our grief. With TAPS, we can now honor the memory of our son, instead of dwelling on our grief. Thank you for the opportunity for me to share my story. God Bless!
I've been so impressed with TAPS since I found them after my son, a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom in Iraq, suicided in 2013. I needed a military connection to be able to continue on my grief journey. They are so caring and kind. Their peer mentor program is top notch. My peer mentor and I are now friends after six years of being matched. Now I'm a peer mentor and the training I've received from TAPS is very thorough and well thought out. Their Women's Empowerment program has been such a help to sort out my feelings and thoughts, to determine a path for me spiritually and emotionally. I really appreciate the staff and volunteers that make TAPS a great organization.
TAPS has not only saved my life and I've been blessed to witness so many others have said the same thing. Supporting and recognizing the loss of those who served and died for our freedom seek community at TAPS.
The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the only non-profit organization that cares for everyone and anyone who is suffering from a military loved one who has died. The manner of their death is not relevant to the care they receive from TAPS. There is no limit on the number of survivors TAPS will accept into their care. Since 1994, when TAPS was founded, over 95,000 loved ones have come to TAPS for help. TAPS Staff are made up of military survivors who want to support others in their grief journey. TAPS welcomes all to its family as volunteers, military mentors, and more. They receive no government funds and 87-cents on every dollar is invested directly into programs for military survivors. The entire team is 100-percent focused on helping military survivors on their grief journeys.
TAPS is unlike many nonprofit organizations. Maybe one of a kind in that it’s mission is operated without federal funding and the bereavement support is advanced. Their services and support made a huge positive impact on my life, my children’s lives, their children and our community. Given from the heart.
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The only reason I'm giving 3 stars is for the few people who have been truly there for me at TAPS. I have dealt with rude women answering the phone when I have called. Workers pointing out that no matter what kind of non-profit they come up with , that it will never be anywhere as successful as Bonnie and TAPS. TAPS may have been started with Honorable intentions but , it has turned into a clique. There are events that are held that no one seems to know about until it's close to the date. If you're not one of the ones who has a degree , a blog , a vlog , a book , a counselor and such you're at the bottom of the totem pole.
It's a shame , I was Hoping that TAPS was going to be that one group that who truly cared for all , not just saying it and leaving it at that.
TAPS became a lifeline for my family after my sister’s fiancé was killed in Iraq. Not being from a military family, we were at a loss on how to help her through her grief journey. Through TAPS, she began to meet other survivors going through the same loss and grief and who able to embrace and support her in a way we could not. TAPS assists all who has lost a loved one serving in the Armed Forces, regardless of cause of death or relationship to the fallen hero. Our family was welcomed at TAPS events and treated with compassion and love.
TAPS is an amazing organization! In my experience, working with children that are grieving over the loss of a loved one that was serving in the US Armed Forces, TAPS does a great job of providing support and putting these families in touch with others going through a similar loss. The power of putting a grieving child in a room with other children dealing with a similar loss, and having that group go through grief work exercises, cannot be overstated. It truly is the magic of TAPS.... and that's why TAPS is such an amazing organization!!
TAPS is such a wonderful organization. They have given me experiences I never thought I'd ever experience in my life, like the summer I went to the Grand Tetons in Wyoming! It is unfortunate that we all have met due to our tragic losses, however, I couldn't imagine my life without these amazing people I have met on my grief journey. I was widowed at 24 and it gave me great comfort in knowing I was not alone, and no matter what, I was always accepted instantly at any event that I went to with TAPS.
Julian Hard Cider and I have not only enjoyed each and every experience of our fundraising partnership with TAPS, but also look forward to making an even greater positive impact for the survivors with Diana and her team in 2018.
Thank you so much for including us in your family.
Paul Thomas
President / Founder
Julian Hard Cider
I honest don't know who gets more out of it, me or the kiddos. The safe place TAPS creates for these children, with people like them , is beyond parallel. Knowing that TAPS is there for my family,should anything ever happen to me, makes it a little easier to do my job for this country everyday.
TAPS helps military families who have had a family member die. My husband and I met a widow of one serviceman while we were at the Grand Canyon. TAPS had paid for her to go to a retreat in AZ, so she headed to the Grand Canyon while she was in the area. She was part of our jeep tour. At one point she went and sat on a ledge and just stayed there for about a 1/2 hour. No one in our group cared that we were 'off schedule', as we all knew she was reconnecting with her husband. She told us at the time that this was the closest she had felt to her husband since he died. Upon my return home, I looked into TAPS. I am very happy to know that all monetary donations go to the families and their needs. Not only do I support the troops, through TAPS I can also support their loved ones, if/when needed.
TAPS has changed my life for the better more than I can say! I found TAPS after nearly 40 years of dealing with the loss of my father, LTJG Burr Johnson III. I was only 2 years old when he was killed and back then childhood grief wasn’t addressed. I was diagnosed with life long PTSD while in my 30s. My first event was Nationals in 2016. I went to volunteer and left with so much more. The peer based support, the programs, the very heart of this program are beautiful and have opened me up to a level of healing and happiness I didn’t know existed. My closest friends are TAPS people. I have since become a Peer Mentor, I was part of the TAPS Cape Cod Ragnar team, I returned to Nationals in 2017 and will attend every year from now on. My brother who was an infant when our dad was killed, will be attending his first event this year and is now facing his own grief. He saw how TAPS helped me and decided to check it out. We as military survivors NEED this organization. I am a better and happier person because of it.
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First off..I LOVE this organization..and am new to it. My dad was shot and killed in the Navy when I was barely two years old and too young to form any concrete memories of him. I have a wonderful family who raised me well. Despite their efforts I spent my life in terror, always looking over my shoulder and fearing death in any form. I didn't trust people in general. When my mom would leave, even when I was just a tiny kid I would pray and wait anxiously for her return. About three years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD and was told it has been recurring since I was two years old..go figure. Despite the lack of memories I have always felt a connection with my father and a longing to know more about him. I thought I was strange because of it. Also, despite my fears of looking strange I decided to write a book about how it was growing up the way I did. It was just a couple years into the process that I discovered TAPS randomly through a new friend on Facebook. We connected over mutual loss (her husband was killed when her daughter was 13 months old and her daughter has always felt a powerful closeness to him). During our conversation she told me about the TAPS program and how she and her daughter have benefited so much from it.
I can't tell you how much that kind of support would have changed my life for the better had it been around when I a kid and grieving! I was actually able to talk to Bonnie Carroll who listened quietly to my story-to the point where I was afraid she might think I was completely off the mark and even a little crazy. Instead she validated what I had to say and said the feelings of terror and abandonment are common with surviving kids. She was kind and gracious and made me even more excited about getting involved with this amazing organization.
I've only been in contact with TAPS staff for about eight months, and I first spoke with Bonnie almost a year ago. I haven't met any of them in person but every single person I've interacted with has been amazing. I feel like I have a tight knit group of friends already and I haven't even met any face to face. My big vacation this year is out to DC for the National Seminar and I can't wait!
As someone who has felt alone, anxious and terrified almost my entire life, I can't begin to express how life changing this program is... I'm so excited to connect with peers next month and help give those kids validation so they won't have to live their lives in crippling fear. This is a program I plan to be involved with and support for the rest of my life!
I am so thankful for TAPS being there not only for me but for my family as well. They did not give up on us when we had given up hope. Knowing that your not the only one is extremely comforting especially after a loss. THANK YOU TAPS for all that you do.
TAPS reached out to me after my son was killed in Afghanistan. The resources they provide are extensive and of the highest quality. The organization reaches out and tailors its assistance to all groups affected by the death of a service member - parents, spouses, siblings, and children. Each group is distinct and has differing needs and issues. It is easy to find a group tailored to your individual needs. I have attended a seminar, a retreat, and participate in online chats and discussions.
TAPS was/is the only group providing Men's only resources. The Men's Retreat I attended was superb. Sorry Ladies, but when you are present in a meeting, you do all the talking and steer the discussion into topics not of interest to Men. The Men only environment is necessary for our healing. Gold Star Men are hurting too.
I have made lasting friendships with other Gold Star Men through TAPS. I know I do not have to walk my grief journey alone. I have brothers to walk with me. TAPS is an invaluable resource for all survivors. Please support it if you can. Please use it if you need to.
In 2009 my fiance Josh Rath was KIA in Afghanistan. There I was without him, the love of my life, my future, my happiness, in a blink the entirety of my future, gone. As I tried to comprehend this loss, I was reminded that I was not married yet and therefore disenfranchised. Until TAPS. TAPS found me and called me letting me know my loss was significant, that I had mattered to this man, and that the pain I was suffering was valid. They were an organization that supported fiancées. Through their peer mentor program, seminars, and retreats, I found a new family - one that understood, one that walked with me, and one that helped me find my way. This organization gave me hope, and I support TAPS by volunteering and bringing awareness of the good that blossoms from their care.
Our family was devastated when my husband, Sgt. Richard Stumpf, a 24 year old Gulf War Veteran and active duty Drill Instructor, died by suicide on October 31, 1994 at MCRD Parris Island, SC. To make things more tragic, we were expecting our first child within a couple of days. On the morning of his funeral, I was rushed to the hospital where I I gave birth to our son. The picture I chose to share is of our only "family portrait" taken during my pregnancy. When Rich died, we all felt alone, unsure and unable to comprehended how to proceed, and socially isolated due to how suicides were handled with active duty military during that era. Before the days of google, smart phones, social media, and technology, I had no idea where to go, but I knew I needed support. I knew I needed to connect to people like me who could understand; I knew I needed the support from my military families; I knew I couldn't do this alone. I knew what I needed , but just couldn't find it at the time. After years of searching, my path finally crossed with TAPS and I knew I was at home- with my people and fellow families of the fallen. TAPS is everything that I knew I needed back in 1994 and offers comprehensive services, resources, and programs to all families members, of all causes of death and is one of the leaders in the field of military suicide prevention. Families today do not have to go through this alone and have a place to honor the life which was lived, where they can "Remember The Love, Celebrate The Life, and Share The Journey ".
After my son died, leaving a wife and three children, and my having been widowed just 3 months before my son's death, I was totally adrift. I had no idea where I belonged. I had no idea who could understand. Both my husband and son were Marines, very proud Marines. My daughter-in-law told me about TAPS and I registered, having no idea what to expect, but whatever I thought it might be, I underestimated them 5000%. I attended my first seminar 7 months after my son's death and the second this past St. Patrick's Day. I was raised in a fabulous, warm, loving family. Never in my life did I expect to walk into a conference full of strangers and feel as if I had found my home. The tools, the skills, the compassion, opportunities and love that has been shown to me is really beyond comprehension. But they know the secret, because they also all have walked the walk. This is what makes TAPS different. They understand what we're dealing with from the inside out and welcome us and our feelings with only love and never a second of judgment. For one weekend at a seminar, I feel as if I'm in heaven as well, and I never dreamed that would be possible after my dear losses. God bless Bonnie Carroll and her vision, her passion and her commitment. She and her staff are the balm for a pain I didn't think could be eased. Because of TAPS, I have new friends and am happier and healthier than I ever dreamed of. I can say no more but to leave you with this, which sums up what TAPS is able to elicit from all of my survivor friends.....
“What happens when people open their hearts?
They get better.”
— Haruki Murakami
My Navy Pilot husband died May 11, 2015. TAPS was there for me, immediately by my side, and has been there with me ever since. Just knowing I can call an 800 number after the company leaves, or its a Holiday, if I am alone with my thoughts, that I can reach out to someone who can Empathize is extremely comforting. Their programs for survivors tailored to their military loved one's Branch of service is particularly special. To be able to honor your loved one lost, but remember their life and service is very meaningful that you could not understand unless you've been there. Everyone at TAPS has been there. Empathy is a very specific language.
A dear friend, and Casualty Assistance Officer, first told me of TAPS shortly after my husband was killed in 2004. Everything was so fresh, so raw, I just wasn't ready to reach out. TAPS continued to be a voice in the grief community that I ran with, and eventually, in 2014, we were in a location that my daughter and I were able to participate in the National Seminar and Good Grief Camp. After 10 years, we found our safe place. The staff and volunteers at TAPS always goes above and beyond to make sure that their Survivors are treated like guests. Radical hospitality is a phrase that comes to mind when I think of my peers there. My daughter has the opportunity, for 4 days, to be with other kids who GET it. She's not weird because she never met her dad. Nobody judges her when she doesn't have any "memories" to share of him in group activities. Other children don't question her credibility when she says that her father is dead. Her mentors have set remarkable examples of strength, courage, and selflessness. It is a beautiful partnership that Bonnie has cultivated with the different services and provides not only support for our children, but a leadership development opportunity for young service members like no other. Thank you TAPS for all you have provided for our family!
TAPS has been absolutely amazing since my husband passed away. I can't say enough about this amazing organization. They have reached out to me, helped me financially, emotionally. They are incredible. Thank you Bonnie and thank you TAPS for all that you do for my daughter and I.
My son Spc Jason Cooper died by suicide shortly after returning home from Iraq in 2005. Feeling deeply broken hearted and lost and also feeling that no one would understand my grief journey, I turned to TAPS. At TAPS, I have found support that has has given me hope and healing and a family that will always be with me. Bonnie Carroll has created an extraordinary support system for our surviving military families and I feel very blessed to be a part of that family.
While serving as a Staff Sergeant in the Army I was asked to volunteer for TAPS. I was called upon to mentor a young boy whose father died while deployed to Iraq. Over the course of a weekend the boy and I bonded during one of the regional Good Grief Camps held by TAPS. Going into the event I never realized the impact it would have on me. Having lost a Soldier under my watch shortly before the event I was in need of grief support myself. The child I was mentoring and I had an amazing transformation to a new normal as we spent time grieving together and finding our new normal. TAPS transforms lives significantly for the better; and, provides the resources for our Gold Star families who have lost their hero to come together in a compassionate and safe environment to share their journey.
When my husband CTRSN Jason Springer (US Navy) went missing from his ship the USS Kinkaid on March 5, 1997, the waiting was excruciating, though it paled in comparison to the intensity of the shock and grief that gripped me when they called off the search for him 24 hours later. Three days into my journey, agonizing over unanswered questions and crying constantly, I cried out to God and begged him to take it from me - I needed to breathe. Peace and quiet fell over the room and I quit crying for the first time. In a moment of shocked calm, I looked at my desk and saw a TAPS card. Without thinking, I picked up my phone and called the number. I could not have imagined that this phone call would lead to a great friendship which would ultimately ground me, giving me hope that I could survive the intense pain and remain standing. Nothing ever hurt this deeply and it felt never-ending, but Bonnie Carroll came alongside me and showed me in her deeply personal way that surviving was possible. She said Jason's name and didn't run from my tears. Together we told his story and over time I have continued to share him with others who have in turn shared with me their own stories. In doing this, Jason has remained as vibrant part of my life. In this amazing organization our journey with those we love does not end, it just takes a different shape. This is the beauty of TAPS, that together we remember those we love and allow them to remain partnered with us in a deeply meaningful way as we continue to share what made them real. Jason was an intense soul with a strong moral compass and a strong wit, which was at times self-deprecating. He had competitive spirit and you knew when you beat him that he made you work for it. Questions were always hanging from his lips - he was a deep philosophical thinker for 19 years-old. He was surprising, deep, and intensely romantic. Debate did not intimidate him, yet he was never disagreeable. He was an amazing and complex person and I have no doubt he would have grown me. How could I ever forget that he loved me with all his heart? This love was his greatest gift to me. How could I let that die too? TAPS is a place where I can say these things, let his life and death have ongoing meaning, and continue to grow in ways that would make him as proud of me as I am of him.
On March 15, 2011, my oldest son Petty Officer Joshua Lipstein died by suicide after a long battle with anxiety, depression, and opioid dependency. Without the support we received from TAPS I'm not sure that my family would have made it through that terribly tragic time. We will always love and miss him, but we have learned to live our lives with his memory living in our hearts. TAPS helped us find meaning and purpose as we searched for our new normal.
In July of 2001, I was coming home from a meeting about helping students succeed in the public school in which I worked. My husband had called to say there had been an accident. As I rounded the corner toward our home, I saw the military car in our driveway and knew that the unthinkable had happened. When I walked through the door the casualty officer told me that our son, Sgt Bryon Lane, had been killed in a Marine helicopter training accident. That was the beginning of my journey of grief. After the funeral as the casualty officers were leaving, they gave me a flyer about the non profit organization called Tragedy Assistance for Survivors. It took me a few days, but when I called, I spoke to a woman who just listened gently to my story and offered me support. She called often and invited me to go to a seminar for TAPS over the Memorial Day weekend. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. While there, I met more people who had lost a loved one serving our country and learned I am not alone. Since then I have kept in touch with many of those from across the country and they have become lifelong friends. I thank TAPS for helping me learn to live without my son while never forgetting him. TAPS is an amazing organization.
TAPS has provided a place where I can talk about my late husband Paul, run in memory of him, have my children attend good grief camps with other children who have lost a parent in the military, and share this journey with others.
Six years ago my brother, Richard, a CPL in the Marines, died of brain cancer. Nothing prepared me for the death of my 29 year-old big brother. During that first month as our family let the reality of his loss sink in, TAPS was there with a phone call letting us know that we weren't alone. TAPS sent us a caring resource kit, filled with heartfelt thoughts and information about the organization which would become our second family. Since then my family has benefited from the seminars and the retreats we have attended and met many fellow survivors whom we call family. I know that every day there is a family who loses a loved one who is serving our country and that is why I donate to TAPS. I want to help TAPS help these families the way it helped mine.
Review from #MyGivingStory
I first learned about TAPS a couple of years after my husband was killed in Iraq. I was desperately lost and simply needed support from someone who might understand the complexity of my grief. I had no idea my phone call would lead me to years of friendship-building, self-acceptance, and the desire to give back in the same capacity.
Having become a new mommy and widow within a year's time, I knew I'd need some help on my journey to come. TAPS first provided me with the assurance that I was not alone and followed up shortly with a beautiful mentor who walked with me through so many trying times. They also encouraged me to participate in activities such as widow's retreats and national conferences. Although I felt like I was only going through the motions at times, I could feel myself becoming an integral part of something that was so much bigger than myself; an ideal by which my late husband lived his life. The continual support from my TAPS family not only allowed me to understand my PTSD, but has motivated me to use my story to help others.
In recent years, TAPS has given me the opportunity to turn my challenges in to amazing changes. The empowerment I feel because of this is immeasurable. They have helped me tap into my natural talents by using my voice to sing The National Anthem at different events; I have also had the opportunity to share the inner most parts of my heart on their blog and in the magazine. What's more, I have found many other interests that have become therapeutic outlets for me because of what TAPS has provided. Their encouragement and support has helped me to become a better person, mother, and friend.
Aside from helping me, TAPS has been a huge part of my daughter's life by giving her opportunities to ask questions and share stories about her daddy. TAPS truly understands the delicacy of a child who has lost a parent to combat and/or the effects of war. Somehow, they are able to translate this loss into an incredible opportunity to learn and grow in the best possible ways. My daughter is happy and well-adjusted, and finds a great deal of comfort in knowing that all of her "TAPS friends" understand exactly what it's like to live a life without dad. If not for TAPS, she might feel alone in her thoughts and neither of us would have the hope we have today!
We are both so grateful that TAPS exists. We've learned so much about grief and how we can become the best living legacies for our fallen heroes. TAPS is our family! What I love best is knowing that even on days I feel an emotional setback, TAPS normalizes my anxiety, reminds me of my strengths, and encourages me keep going.
Amy & Emma Dozier, Surviving wife and daughter of SFC Jonathan K. Dozier KIA 1/09/2008 Iraq
I lost my dad in the military in 1969, when I was just a baby--and long before TAPS came to be. I've been volunteering with TAPS since 2012 because I know how isolating and painful it was for me growing up without such an organization. Being able to reach out and assist not just Gold Star children like me, but to their families, and to battle buddies, and active duty military and other volunteers, has given my own loss meaning. I used to dread Memorial Day weekend--now I plan on volunteering with TAPS that weekend and I can't wait to see my TAPS family. I love TAPS!
TAPS has helped our family. It has helped me to know I am not alone. In very story, every meeting, every seminar, every getaway, every email with my mentee, every magazine I find hope. I have met so many wonderful people that through their grief help one another with love and compassion. My daughter is still "best friends" with a gal that she met on "their" first good grief camp. They were facetiming last night for literally hours.
Another daughter has decided her career goals because of the love and compassion she received as a 14 year old at her first TAPS good grief camp just a few weeks after her daddy's death. My son continued to follow his military dreams because of the mentors he had his first and second good grief camps. Do we love TAPS? yes! has it made a lasting impact on our lives? Absolutely!
I can’t express how much the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has meant to me and my family as we navigate our way through this new life – new journey.
David and I were married for 16 years. He obtained the rank of Colonel one month before he died. As a US Army Reservist, my husband deployed several times after 9/11. His last deployment was to the ‘Green Zone’ or International Zone in Iraq. I remember this tour being ‘the tour that was never supposed to happen’ as he wasn’t supposed to deploy again – at least for the near term. However, 12 days after landing back in the US (relocating from Germany), we were notified of David’s imminent departure.
David returned from his tour complaining of headaches – mild ones – during the months leading up to his diagnosis. It was during a visit to the ER that David’s doctor suggested a CT Scan – just to ‘rule things out’. We were told that David had two suspicious looking masses in his brain. A biopsy done at Emory University hospital on October 13, 2010 confirmed that David had brain cancer. He died 11 months later.
David’s passion was for his Soldiers. He wanted them to understand the value of being financially prepared for unexpected situations and to also ensure a solid plan for the future. He handled all the finances in our household ensuring financial stability – all in line with our grand retirement plans.
It’s been four years since David’s death and much of that time has been spent dealing with multiple ‘unexpected’ events. At EACH ONE of these events, I can count on TAPS to provide me with the support that I need to get through. TAPS has not only been the support mechanism that I need – guiding me forward instilling a strength in me that I never thought I had – it’s provided a forum for my children to reach out to. They know that they’re not alone in this – and THAT is so important as they grow. They now reach out to others in their time of need.
I am very grateful for TAPS dedication to those who have lost one so dear… who took such a significant spot in our lives that now leaves such a void. For the past 4 years TAPS has provided my family with outstanding service, guidance, support – and most of all – access to its quality staff!
Tammy McCracken
The lost of my Marine husband brought me and my 4 children to TAPS in 2008. We have grown and healed immensely with the help of seminars, counseling and multiple resources throughout the years. I don't know how our lives would have gone had it not been for TAPS
TAPS is a wonderful organization. They have helped thousands and thousands of families and support thousands of children of fallen military at GOOD Grief Camps. I cannot convey how wonderful the staff is at TAPS and the volunteers are immensely generous with their time and support to provide not just peer support to widows but ensure that any and all programs are absolutely wonderful. I know that my family will never be alone, never be left behind if something happens to me as a soldier serving my country. There is nothing like this wonderful organization. If you can support TAPS in any way please do so !!!!
I very recently retired a USAF Colonel and commander, and have a deep sense of respect regarding the phenomenal peer-based emotional support TAPS provides surviving families in the most unfortunate of human circumstances. Since the founding of TAPS in 1994, the organizational outreach to grieving families remains a hallmark in providing deep, meaningful assistance through difficult periods for the surviving families of US military members. TAPS provides critical efforts of support through their personalized outreach, to care for, assist, and provide technical assistance to those experiencing the deaths of loved ones. They provide the highest quality of support through many established and networked programs, and resources across our country, all without charge. Additionally, their network of counselors, programs, peer support, and casework assistance remains unparalleled. My appreciation is genuine of Bonnie Carroll and her tragedy assistance experts in making huge differences taking care of those who need it most. TAPS remains a success in genuinely helping others in very difficult times of military related deaths, especially with young children who need their help most. My best regards to all in the TAPS organization who provide this support to the families of AMERICA's fallen heroes.
As a senior military officer (recently retired) and an admirer of TAPS for more than a decade, I cannot adequately praise this remarkable organization and its people -- from founder Bonnie Carroll and her devoted staff to those essential and marvelous volunteers. I have referred families to them and TAPS has always come through. They help all according to need, providing equity, empathy, and compassion in what is likely the nation's most competent and effective survivor support system. Were I to die, TAPS is where I would want members of my family to turn to.
This organization is terribly cliquish. Certain surviving family members are given preferential treatment, that is, same people are invited to special events, meet VIP's etc. I do not see the focus on "Survivors Helping Survivors Heal" as much as staff members and their friends get to go to exotic locales or meet VIPs. And trust me I know a lot about this organization since I have been one of their survivor members since 2012. Take heed if you read this review and do not donate your time or money to this organization.
bonnie 10/26/2017
Dear Survivor, I am sorry that you have had an experience that has left you dissatisfied with TAPS. We encourage you to call TAPS at 800-959-8277 to discuss your concerns. Kindly, TAPS
Within days after I was notified by the US Navy of my sons death, KIA 9.22.2013; a package from TAPS arrived in the mail. I opened the package and a wealth of information was at my fingertips. From whom to call for assistance during my darkest hours of grief, to support groups, TAPS volunteeers and staff providing me what ever I needed help with;TAPS was there for me 24 hrs a day. I appreciate their calling to check on me to see how I was doing. I deeply thank TAPS for introducing me to other Gold Star Family members who understood what I was going thru. I am on a journey and am so blessed to have TAPS by my side.
Hello! First let me start by saying that I'm a widow of a Marine who was not killed in duty but instead by a drunk driver. This happened in 1999. Since then I went back to school to get my Masters in counseling so that I could help other survivors. Currently I am a grief counselor and also the Director of Children's Bereavement Camps for Hospice of the Chesapeake. I've been involved with camp programs for children and adults for 13 years. By chance, I met Bonnie Carroll through a mutual colleague in April and she was so kind to invite me and my son to the National Survivor's Seminar in May. I was so touched because even though it's what I do for a living, I've never been to a bereavement camp or retreat as an attendee nor has my son.
From the moment I arrived I felt welcomed and loved by the entire TAPS staff. No matter how busy they were they made me feel like I was very special and the only one there. I immediately made friends at the seminar with all the other wonderful survivors. I was blown away at the quality of the seminar and the experience of the speakers and seminar leaders. It was far more than I would have ever expected.
When I ran my camp this summer, I took this experience and shared it with my volunteer staff and camp families. I took the "spirit" of TAPS and shared it with my camp program because it felt it was so amazing! And I remember how they made me feel as a newcomer.
In my opinion this is a top notch organization with people filled with passion for what they do. I'm sad that I never found it sooner but I'm so thankful that I found it when I did.
TAPS has given me unconditional support. I hope to become a mentor, one day. This is a much needed service for widows and orphaned children of our services members.
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I was warmly welcomed into the TAPS family. No one shut me out because my loss was related to the Vietnam conflict. I appreciate that more than words can expess. I think it is extremely important for young children of fallen service members to be supported and encouraged by the country. They should feel their lossed love one is a hero. TAPS is providing an outstanding and supportive vehicle for healing and support. This was missing for so long. I am so thankful for and proud of TAPS! A+ Thank you!
On May 19 2014 my fiance committed suicide. He was the love of my life..my world. My everything. .until he got kicked out of the army. He was diagnosed with ptsd and sleep apnea. ..The army chapter him out for being overweight. He felt like such a failure..nothing was the same he seemed he didn't even have a purpose anymore...I tried so hard to comfort him and help him but the depression got worse and worse as the months went on...of course at first he kept saying I'm a soldier I can handle anything so he didn't want help...then he couldn't get a job we lost our house and had to move in with our mom. He then realized he had a problem and tried to get help but it was like a different story each day. No one believed him...He laid on the couch for 4 months with me and our kids tried to pull life together for him try to make it easier...He became so angry inside himself he would have out Burts on me and our children. He stated to lay his hands on me and not remember he was doing it...and again..no one believed him he couldn't remember what he was doing. It was so terrible for us the fighting yelling and physical abuse.. He finally just said f it and he moved two states away to get work..which he did not find. I talked to him when when he was down all the time actually when he moved. .I loved him so much it hurts sometimes I can't even breathe when I think about him.... so needless to say may 19th marked his one year out of the army , and he took his life on the same day and time he singed out...I don't understand this I just don't. I feel like I didn't fight hard enough for him or didn't show him how much I loved him. I just wanted to share this because I pray each and every day for our vets. And I am raising ptsd and suicide awareness where where live..I wish I knew and understood ptsd before I'm probably a year late but I pray I can help others some how some way... rip. Specialist Staton. So anyways I am writing this review because if it was not for TAPS. I didn't think I could move on after losing Adam. They helped me get involved in counseling and seminars and group therapy
.they have called me and made me feel loved and touched my heart In so many ways to even count. TAPS IS amazing and truly deserves this. Every time I hear about TAPS I get excited and every phone call and email I received from them left me with a small piece of warmth in my heart again. Thank you TAPS you saved my life and my children.
In November 2009, I lost my brother to suicide, it's been one heck of a long ride to come to the point that i understand that i am not the only one going thru this. When our Castilty officer contacted my mom saying that there was a group that is helping families deal with great losses, we insteally found out more information. My first TAPS event was in October 2010- with not knowing what I was getting myself into, i connected with so many people who knew just what I was going thru and I also knew that I wasn't the only one dealing with this. TAPS has been so amazing over years that, now it's my turn that I give back to them. Not only by writing this review but letting others know that there are people out in the World that are going thru the same thing. Thank you TAPS for everything!
In November of 2011, my dad was killed in Afghanistan. I felt so lost and no one understood what I was going through. When my mom told us about TAPS and that we were going to the National seminar, I was really nervous. On my first day I met my mentor who would change my life for the better. I started making friends and learning that I was not alone in my situation. I currently went on a TAPS retreat for children of the fallen. I learned so much and feel so blessed for the people I met and the things I got to do. I was able to dig a little deeper into my grief and find some peace. I'm still working on it but I know if I were to run into any troubles, I have my TAPS family to help me out.
TAPS has changed my life incredibly! My dad was KIA in Afghanistan 2011. I was living in a very small town at the time when my Dad died. My elementary school my brother and I were going to at the time had only 500 kids in the school, and we were the only ones who had lost our dad in the military. I only had my family until we found taps six months after my father was killed. When I got there I was really nervous, but it only took a few minutes at the camp to really feel welcomed! I wasn't the only one anymore! I had people to tell stories about my dad to and remember him without someone feeling uncomfortable about me talking about my dad. I could create bonds with the other kids and even the mentors. Every time I hear about TAPS I get so excited and brag about it! Its like every year it can't come sooner!!
TAPS has been a lifeline for me and my children. My husband was KIA in Afghanistan 2011 and I was feeling so lost. I called the Taps hotline and immediately was connected with someone I could talk to. Within a few days, I received a care package. AT our 6 month mark, we went to our first Good Grief Camp and Seminar. It was amazing. I met the most incredible, caring, loving and supportive people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I learned that the way I grieved may not be the way others grieved and it was okay. A couple months later I was able to attend a Widow's retreat. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. It was something I never dreamed I needed until I was there. I don't know where my children and I would be without the love and support TAPS has provided us.
My son was killed in 2008, while on active duty in the US Army. It was very difficult to deal with the loss and find the help we needed to understand how we would go on without him. TAPS has given my family and many other families a place to get assistance and feel accepted by people who know how you feel. This is a place where we can get help and help others. I can't say enough about Bonnie, all of her wonderful staff and volunteers.
Our country owes a great debt to those that serve to keep us safe. None pay a higher price than those family members that have lost a family member in our military services. TAPS is there for those families to lend support and guidance, comfort and care to those family members in their times of grief and help them to move forward. I have had the privilege and honor to work with many of their team members and volunteers when planning their events for their programs. It is always with professionalism and concern that every dollar is accounted for and every penny spent is done to make sure that they are receiving the ultimate experience for each of their family members, while adhering to strict cost constraints to make certain that the programs can continue and the success to the participants. The family members are the top priority and this never waivers. I see the commitment and dedication of their staff and know this isn't just a job for any of them - this is their life, their focus and their passion. Thanks to TAPS for all you do!!!
My younger brother was killed while serving our country in Iraq. I am from a large, close knit family of 2 very loving parents and 7 children. When we received the news that my brother had been killed in action we soon realized that the grief process can be so entirely different for even very close family. My parents had lost a son...six of us had lost a brother. Our children had lost a beloved uncle. We are a family with a strong believe that we will see and love and live with this brother again, after this life. But what about this life? How do we live without him? How do we help each other find that new normal? That is where T.A.P.S. comes into play. T.A.P.S. has programs for my parents, to interact with other parents that have lost a loved one to war. They have programs for siblings of fallen soldiers to interact with other siblings that are facing the same challenges. At a time when our family could have felt so alone, we were welcomed in to an even larger family of people that know what you are going through. Thanks T.A.P.S.!
Their reach has inspired many. They do not question who needs the help. They are there for all and if they do not have the service, they find it. What stands out is that most have been helped and in turn are helping others
My dad died in Iraq in 2011 as a retired Navy Commander of 20 years. He was working as a contractor. TAPS helps me as I do not qualify for VA assistance as I am over 26. They provide specialized grief groups, 24 hour hotline care, fun retreats, and most of all I am connected to other survivors who have lost their loved ones in the military or in military-related work situations. This organize creates a life-long family to help us grieve the very specific loss we have experienced that the general public may not have gone through. I feel TAPS has changed my life. I am forever grateful to TAPS and the individual who directed me towards this organization.
My children were dealing with the divorce of their dad and me in October of 2004 when he was KIA 8-31-2005 in Iraq. In less than a year we were having to deal with two life altering events. TAPS and their Peer Mentoring program saved me from a very dark place and very well may have saved my life. TAPS gave my children people to talk to and other kids for them to relate to. We didn't live near any military installations, and no one understood what a military death meant in our lives. TAPS is always a phone call away when we need someone. There aren't enough things I can say about TAPS to relay just how positive of an organization this is.
I am a military wife of 27 year. TAPS is a wonderful nonprofitorganization. They do so much for the military members that have lost a loved one. I was able to walk the first TAPS 5k run/walk at the Fargo marathon. Then the next morning I volunteered for helping with the marathon stops. I walked with Lance's picture on my back. It is an honor to volunteer for an awesome nonprofit oorganization.
These last few months have been some of the darkest of my life. My husband of 12 years and the father of my two young children lost his life. He was an Airman in the US Airforce Reserve. I had no idea how to accept this..cope with this or survive this. The T.A.P.S. organization reached out to me a and my children and made us feel like family. They have kept constant contact with us and provided us resources for the beginning of the healing process. Volunteers have called and emailed and even texted me. It was these selfless people who supported my family during those moments when everything got quiet and we faced the reality of this tragic loss. We are attending a suicide grief camp in October so we can understand that we are not alone in this journey. These are some of the most kind hearted...caring and consoling humans I have ever encountered. I don't know that we could have made it this far without their love and support. The world needs more organizations like this. I can't tell you how much it has meant to my family.
I have known of TAPS through mailings and email since 2010 the year my brother was KIA. I read each magazine cover to cover and have been touched by the emails and cards received on special dates. This is something that you hear about in the news, things like "that" never happen to your family. Well I am hear to tell you that it does happen. It is not a group you want to be a part if, recognition you do not want. Having a group like TAPS keeping in touch lets you know that others are having the same struggles, feeling the pain that can hit without warning. I was able to attend the Survivor Seminar in Washington this past Memorial Day holiday. There was a lot of choices of seminars and activities. At first I was nervous, overwhelmed, felt it a "trip" I was taking and should not be enjoying. The trip was informative, educational, comforting, emotional and yes enjoyable too.
When my husband died in a training accident in 1997 I did not know where to turn. I had to leave my military family and moved back home. I was a fish out of water. I missed my husband horribly, I missed our friends, our military life. I ached for our future now changed forever. A military chaplain told me about TAPS. I was hesitant to call and ask for help. I was a military wife. I never asked for help. One night I knew I wasn't going to make it to the next morning. My grief was crushing. It was 2:00 a.m. and I picked up the phone. I called TAPS. On the other end of the phone was my lifeline. My new family. A soft and compassionate voice got me through to see the light of day. TAPS was my light in a very, very dark night.
This organization use to have meaning but it has grown into another money hungry for profit company that hides under a 501(c)3. Just check out their financials and see where they are spending the public money on wasteful things like hundreds of thousands of dollars on a date base for members, there are better solution. After seeing their financials I would never give them another penny.
My youngest son passed away. His older siblings never got their Gold Star pins. TAPS went above and beyond doing the work on getting my son's siblings their pins. I also couldn't get the military to find some way of getting me counseling after losing my son. TAPS again stepped up to the plate and got the ball rolling. I am now receiving counseling. They call me every 4 to 6 weeks to check on me to see how I am doing. They email me and get me in touch with people who have been through what I am going through. They are also hosting a Gold Star Mothers retreat in Savannah Georgia this November in which I will be attending. Our expenses are paid for by generous donors. This gives us mothers some time of not only normalcy but a time to meet other women who have lost children and form a lifelong bond with others who understand our grief. I don't know what I would do without them. I know if I need someone they are there for me.
i was deeply saddened by the obvious censorship and discrimination TAPS actively engages in against anyone that has opinions that differ from theirs. it seems that they do not provide support for ALL families as their mission statement suggests. if patriotism is the new religion then TAPS is nothing more then a church preaching pro war propaganda and those who dare advocate for truth, justice, and peace be damned. This is obviously not a place where an atheist, transgendered, anti war, 13 year old who lost their dad in combat is welcome. It is truly a sad state of affairs when an organizations that touts our soldiers as heroes defending our freedom actively engages in suppressing an American citizens First amendment rights. I will now look for other organizations that are more open to different ideas and all people and if I can't find one I'll start one. it's the least i can do for my child and other children who have been ostracized by TAPS for not fitting in with their unofficial doctrine.
Our son was KIA 8/6/11. TAPS has been there from the beginning. Carol, Bonnie, and the whole team are an amazing group of incredibly compassionate people doing some critical and much needed work. I highly recommend them as first of all a very fiscally responsible organization doing what they say they do. But also a very effectively run organization with some highly dedicated people who are there for you.
I have since become a peer mentor volunteer to give back and help others who are now members of the Gold Star Families (Families of our heroes that we have lost). Definitely would support, recommend, and encourage you to do the same. All the Best to TAPS.
My son died from chemo complications. He had Hodgkins Disease - more than likely due to immune deficiencies from toxic chemicals emitted from burn pits while deployed to Camp Victory, Baghdad. He was also diagnosed with meningitis and avium bacterium. i too learned about TAPS about a year after Austin died and signed myself up online. Thanks to TAPS I've learned that i'm not alone, am surrounded by love, and - most importantly - have learned to "celebrate the life' now with perhaps a little more frequency than I mourn the loss of my precious son. I've participated in TAPS parents retreats, two TAPS National Seminars in DC on Memorial Weekend, local TAPS seminars, written for the TAPS parents blog and the TAPS Magazine, and I am a peer mentor. I truly receive more from being a mentor than I give. My daughter-in-law and grandchild have joined me at the National Seminars and the local seminar at PNAS. My little Anna Lee loves her TAPS trips and her mentors. Unbelievable - each child has their own mentor for the whole seminar. I've met wonderful Moms who have and continue to walk my walk and who have lived my nightmare. Thanks to TAPS, it's just a little easier for each of us to get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other, and make that effort to focus on the good memories of our heroes rather than our loss. God Bless Bonnie Carroll, TAPS, our Heroes, and our great Country.
There are no words strong enough to express my appreciation for all that TAPS has done for me and my family after the death of my son, US Marine PFC Devan Krausch. My son was home on leave Christmas last year when he died as a result of his injuried while riding as a passenger in a friends car. His fiance was 4 month pregnant with their first child. Their constant support has truely helped each of us in so many ways. I honestly do not know where I would be today if it had not been for the TAPS program. I do not feel alone in my grief journey and having a safe place to go (mentally) has helped my heart to smile again.
I know I would not be sitting here typing today if it wasn't for TAPS. I lost my son, a 29 year old Marine, to suicide in 2012. I had no idea where to turn for help and support. This tragedy was something no parent should ever have to live through. With the constant, and I mean constant support from TAPS almost a year out from the day I lost him, I am finally seeing the light of day and am slowly beginning to live my life again. Their services cover every single aspect of grief, available services in your specific area, peer mentoring, unbelievable seminars and most of all.....love and concern. Thank you TAPS for all that you do for us. Without you, I don't know where we'd be.
My life was forever changed this year by two events. On Feb. 4, my son, Sgt. Tim Stalter, who was struggling with PTSD, took his own life. Through my loss I gained my TAPS Family. The loving support and care has remained even after my friends and family have returned to the business of living. I am eternally grateful for my TAPS Family. I gain comfort and strength knowing that they will remain with me as I go through my journey of grief.
As a person who works closely with survivors shortly after the tragic loss of their loved ones, I have seen hope and strength in the eyes of those whom TAPS has supported over the years. The listening and the care and understanding that TAPS demonstrates through the way it supports child survivors gives powerful visible strength and support to their parents who, without TAPS, would suffer in silence. Watching survivors move from senses of guilt and anger to a sense of confidence through the grief process is amazing. TAPS facilitates that process. Thank you for what you have done TAPS.
After my brother John was killed in 2007, my entire life changed & for a while there not so much for the good. I was struggling with everything in life, pushing people away so I didn't have to face my reality, & going through certain measures that were nothing like my character to just try to feel like I was someone else besides someone who had this type of pain now. I found TAPS five years after John was KIA in Afghanistan. Ever since John's death I have had so many people who have said I've changed & who wanted the old me back. (Not as much I as did!) I didn't know how to get back to that place I was before 6/17/2007. At my first TAPS retreat, I realized that it was ok that I wasn't that person anymore. I felt free to be who I had become. I wasn't judged for the feelings I had (not even when I expressed anger towards John for leaving us). Everything I had felt was normal & I found a whole set of siblings that felt just like me, that had done some of those same things I did to try & forget who I was after he died. I have support now. My journey of healing has begun now & I don't have to do it alone anymore. At my second retreat, I learned how to have fun again and how to live again the way John would have wanted, the way all our siblings would have wanted us to live. I'm debt fully grateful to TAPS!
I can't thank TAPS enough. My 24 year-old son, Andrew, an Iraqi Freedom Veteran died last September in a single car accident, just shy of a year of being out of the military. There were mistakes made when ordering Andrew's grave marker and one phone call with TAPS set the ball rolling to finally help me rectify the problem. My son will no longer rest in an unmarked grave. Thank you TAPS!!!!!
TAPS was there for me when no one else was. Because of the manner in which my husband was killed, the military wanted to wash their hands of me. TAPS stood by me and literally took me by the hand to show me the way. They put me in touch with women who had lost their husbands/fiances/ boyfriends in a similar manner--cannot tell you how helpful that was! I was introduced to chatrooms, peer counselors, and a wealth of resources to help me. I had lost so much when my husband was killed--not just my Soulmate, but my hopes and dreams, my sense of self and my place in the world. Little by little, TAPS has helped me get some of those things back. Cannot say enough for the organization! I devour their magazine, went on one widow's retreat, and still visit their website, 5 years out now from my husband's death. A truly unique and outstanding organization!
My son, and only child, was killed in Kabul, Afghanistan in February 2012. My husband and I went to the TAPS Parents Retreat in Monterey last summer. Wow! I finally felt like I was understood and no longer felt alone in my grief journey. While I have tremendous support from family and friends, they don't know what to say or when to say it, so they tend to avoid conversations about my son. With TAPS, we talk and we cry and everything is okay. We continue to support one another through our private Facebook page. The TAPS staff are all survivors and therefore have a better understanding of our needs. With the support of TAPS I am able to move forward and hopefully will be able to make something positive out of the tragedy.
TAPS is a wonderful organization, they have supported us through the loss/death of son serving in the military. They care and really understand and are with us to support us through healing journey. Blessings, Prentice family
I found out about TAPS about a year after my son passed. I joined online and received their magazine. I was touched by the stories and it was nice to have people I could relate to. I also went to their survivors seminar in Wisconsin and met many people who were in my same situation. I have to say it is an excellent group of people who are helping us all deal with a very sad and life altering situation. I thank all of them and the participants like me.
My son was injured in Iraq. He came home and had surgery . He died at home from complications caused by the surgery. We were in shock. We didn't reach out to TAPS until we happen to his picture at National TAPS Memorial Day Event. Since that day, my sons wife and sisters have attended the retreats and seminars - where they have met folks that have suffered loss too. I have fortunately been able to go to a parents retreat also. The people who work and volunteer are wonderful and compassionate - I just can't say how valuable this organization it is. I have volunteer for the love of TAPS and am looking forward to attending many more events and meeting others to help along their journey! Thank heavens to TAPS and all associated with it!
My son a two time Iraq deployment was diagnosed with PTSD . Jake took his own life march 27, 2010. I can't not express the change in life his death has has left for myself and his siblings. I leave tomorrow for Colorado Springs , a TAPS seminar for survivors of suicide related to the military. This is the one place I can go to be with others who share the loss, but just as important the workshops put in place help me with my grief, help me to channel my loss and find a place to discuss the loss. This will be my 3rd TAPS . To be honest suicide is not a subject people like to talk about, it is an isolated world for me. TAPS gives me this time to talk openly about my sons death , no shame , no judgement... It is my other place I call home .
My life was forever changed July 25th with my son taking his own life. Not only did Ft Hood step in but they introduced me to S.O.S. and TAPS. Both have been so helpful in this transition of a new life without my son. TAPS stepped rght up, From the phone calls, to the support of information of whom to contact, to the great website, it has on some days been my reason to get up, reach out for help and sometimes just to join in the Survivor Group online, read all the stories and to know this epidemic of loss is just too large and widespread. TAPS has been a lifeline to me, and each person I've spoken with has such compassion...because they have also been through a similar experience, they truly understand the rollercoaster of emotions. The one encouragement I feel blessed with is that they are always my new family. thank you TAPS family!!!
Since my retirement I have volunteered often, with many groups. I have been most impressed with TAP
S. Everything is by volunteer so all proceeds go to benefit the TAPS families. My experience has
been very rewarding and the organization is top notch to work with.
My younger brother was in the Missouri Army National Guard for 30 years. He was a veteran of two wars, and was scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan. He suffered with severe back pain from an injury, and was receiving treatment which was not effective. When he did not show up for work one morning, his best friend found him at his home. He had taken his life. Our family is devastated, and will never be the same.
Within a week I received a call from Kim Ruocco, who is in charge of the Suicide Survivors group with T.A.P.S. She listened to my story, was supportive and asked what she and T.A.P.S. could do to help. She sent information to my home, and set me up with a person who called me periodically just to talk. This person had also dealt with a military suicide in her family, so she really understood. I met Kim at the first T.A.P.S. conference I attended that Fall. Everyone I have dealt with has been patient and kind, willing to listen and provide counsel. I know that I can call them anytime, day or night if I need anything. Just knowing this help is available means everything. I am attending the Suicide Survivors conference in two days, and am looking forward to meeting others and learning new ways to help myself cope with this loss.
TAPS has provided ongoing support to me since my husband died. His death was march of 2011, and I got pamphlets in the stuff the Navy gave me, but didn't contact them right away. When I did go to a seminar a year later it was the first time I felt HOPE, and that there were others out there that I could relate to. Since then, I have trained as a peer mentor and hope to help someone else out soon. I've also gone on a wonderful Widow's Retreat in Alaska! Once in a lifetime experience that I never would have been able to do without TAPS. I can't say enough good things about this organization.
My father died in Northern Iraq in October 2011 as a civilian working to build a base for the Department of State. To this day we do not know 100% how he died. My father was a dedicated Navy Officer for 20 years, a Seabee Commander in the Navy. He was dedicated to building projects and helping the military after his retirement. My father's passing has been very devastating to me and members of our family. If it wasn't for TAPS I don't know what I would do. Since my dad was retired Navy and I am over the age of 26, the VA or the military will not provide grief counseling services to our family. This has been hard since we lost our father in Iraq. Having to watch my dad come home in a coffin in the baggage claim behind the airport is forever etched in my mind. Being a part of TAPS allows me to be with other families who "get it." I've been to hospice grief groups and groups put on by churches, however, no one is in a similar circumstance to the way we lost our dad. TAPS has allowed us to connect with other families, children and loved ones who have lost their loved ones to war and in military causes no matter the circumstances. The best part is being able to go on retreats and meet other survivors who instantly "understand" what it is like to lose a loved one in Iraq, the Middle East, etc. They understand how hard days like Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, and other important days are never the same. I am forever grateful that I found out about TAPS. (Thank you to the Chaplain in Maine who told me about TAPS on Facebook). I look forward to going to retreats and meeting new people from TAPS. Recently I went to a retreat at Camp Pendleton (San Diego, CA) and I met a fellow adult survivor Brendon who also lost his dad who passed away from a plane crash. I am grateful I now know someone I can call or meet up with who lives nearby to talk about the hard times. Without this organization I don't know what I would do. It's a group of people who "gets it." They understand your grief instantly when others may not be able to. I thank Bonnie and all other staff that are part of TAPS. I hope someday when my grief is not so intense, I can volunteer for TAPS. Thank you. Please support this organization. They help where the VA and other organizations are not able to help. -Erin in San Diego, CA.
Our only son was killed while in service with the Marine Corps in Iraq in 2004. His death devasted myself, my husband, and our daughter. I remember once when the tragedy assistance officer came to our home to walk us through the period of waiting for our son's body to be returned and while planning his funeral, the officer brought a very nice booklet on the services of TAPS. It struck me when I first saw it of how wonderful it was that someone knew how we felt.
Shortly after our son's funeral, it hit us. This road of grief was too difficult for us to negotiate alone. How and where would we find help. I remembered the TAPS booklet. I initially called to get help for our daughter, our son's only sibling. She was struggling, and seeing her in pain and agony over missing her brother added to our devastation. When I called, I was so surprised to have my phone call answered by Bonnie, herself. Immediately she went to work to find another sibling mentor to help our daughter. Bonnie and her staff then connected my husband and myself with a counselor. We simply had no tools to cope and no one else understood.
I also found great help with the "chat" lines. Talking to other grieving moms, gave me comfort that I was not alone. They shared coping ideas with me. They shared stories of their sons and daughters with me.
We still receive the TAPS magazine. We still read it from cover to cover and save every one! I routinely go to their web site for comfort. I have shared this organization with every new "family of the fallen" that I encounter! The pain is still there, but it is a comfort to know that there are good folks that are willing to help at a moment's notice!
TAPS helped me well after what should have been my normal grieving...it didn't hit me until years later. I simply could not get past it and knew I needed help- but who would understand this delayed process? Who could I possibly trust with my sorrow? I had continued to receive the much inspiring TAPS magazine, and continued to be amazed at the stories...Moms and Dads, Wives, Brothers and Sisters, so many tragedies in the line of duty, some from suicide, car accidents after their soldier returned home. I finally emailed. Almost instantaneously I received phone calls, email contacts, a box full of inspiration- physical and touchable, a journal to write in. The team hooked me up with an area counselor at no cost to me, as I spoke on the phone with my own caring soul of a therapist- I could not hardly believe what I was telling...I was embraced by love, by patience and understanding and I opened up. As far as I'm concerned- they prevented another tragedy; my hopelessness turned into hope again. I cannot say enough about their outreach, even years and years later. They truly care and support your process- how ever long or whatever it takes. There are so many needs in this world today that go unmet- perhaps if more organizations reached out as TAPS does, a death would no longer be the end of every story...instead it is the life of our loved ones that gets told. Now my memories are abundant- I'm not afraid to hurt anymore- looking back. now I am able to see clearly that my son's life was undeniably beautiful even though his end was so sudden. Grief is such an isolating feeling, the loneliness of it makes one by far sadder than need be....in TAPS, I found friends and allies who let me know- I am not alone.
Our daughter was killed while on active duty in January 2006. Our whole family was devastated. We were planning a winging and engagement party when that knock came on the door. Our CaCo officer was wonderful but she could only support us for a short time. Our ordeal, from the date of the knock on the door to final memorial ceremony at Arlington and then finding out the truth, dragged on over 6 1/2 years. We went through being listed as missing, to a botched search, to being told there were no survivors, a funeral with "all of her", to the delivery of an urn because we found more, to there is common remains that we inadvertently sent to a landfill but don't worry it isn't your daughter, to whoops we lied- your daughter's remains were sent to the landfill. We needed someone who would understand the lingo, understand the frustration with bureaucracy, help us maneuver through the system, answer our questions, and find us answers and resources. But they didn't stop there- they provided the voice on the phone when I didn't know if I wanted to wake up in the morning and then they would call back daily for a few days to make sure I was okay, they provided mentors who had already walked this path and understood, they helped us develop a plan on how we could continue through a few more tomorrows.
We have a son who was also suffering. When he came to his first seminar he was able to connect with other brothers and sisters his age who understood the guilt, responsibility, and grief he was feeling. He made life long friends who understand how each hurdle accomplished is both a celebration and a time of guilt.
My husband and I are strong supporters of TAPS and we believe this is an honorable service that is definitely needed.
My family first met Bonnie at the family assistance table a the Crystal City Marriott on 9/12/2001, just a day after 9/01/01 when our parents were killed at the Pentagon. TAPS was so helpful and so compassionate to all our needs. We would not be here today if it was not for TAPS. My children attended the Good Grief Camp in May 2002 with under 50 attendees. The camp was so helpful to all of us. We have attended camp every year since then, however now we attend as peer mentors. Listening, listening and listening are powerful tools when dealing with grief. TAPS was the only group that got us, they knew exactly what we were going thru. And now we can help others with their grief especially the children of military families.
I've been a suicide victim since I was 15 years old, carrying almost like the grim reaper around on my shoulders day in and day out... then at age 42 I lost my only son by suicide... I got help after loosing my mother at age 15, it didn't help me that much at all. My counselor was good but if you've never walked in this... book smart isn't always what you need. Since my son was Military this wonderful organization called Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) got in touch with us... Well I decided early on I may need help but I didn't want to do a group, I'm the kind of person who likes my privacy, most days I didn't get dressed, etc... so I started checking this thing called taps out. Long story short I found the online groups and then the chats. I cannot stress to you the difference that has made in my life. I really just wanted to die after losing my son~ he saved my life the day I gave birth to him. He was a promise that I would never be alone, always love, etc... Well taps has been my savior the only bad thing is I don't know of anything like this for the public that has no military to be a part of this organization. I'm thinking maybe that's my calling in life is to be able to structure a mirror of taps to help Suicide Victims and families accross the nation.... Yeah it's a big calling but who knows maybe I can work miracles?
I am writing this to say this organization is the very very best for the families of the fallen. They help everyone in the worst time of their lives; when I say everyone I mean everyone. They are there for the whole family & they were the first to do so.
Personally I have no idea what we (my family) would do with out them. I looked for something for my two daughters after the death of our hero in Iraq & we found TAPS 4 months later. We have been a active members of this great organization since March 2007, we can't imagine life without them. Especially my youngest daughter, without TAPS she might not even be here today. Without the love, support & friendship she has made through them, my child would lost. When you go through a military death, it's so public & everyone wants to help for the first few weeks, then you find yourself lost & alone. TAPS is a family, a place, & a home for those who so need someone that gets this, our grief. We so believe in what they do, we do whatever, we can to help them help others. TAPS is a family & the best organization out there for the families of our military fallen, from overseas, at home or suicide-they help us all. What helps us the most to be around the ones that get this the most, our TAPS family.
I am both a client and volunteer. In 2007, my husband Chris was killed in Afghanistan. My daughter was 8 at the time. She would hardly speak to anyone after his death. Since attending the grief camps each year she has come away with coping skills and has fully blossomed into a great 14 year old. I accredit this to the grief camps and seminars in giving me ways to deal with a child with grief. Taps has also helped me tremendously. I have forged bonds with others, now have a love for running, and look forward to each event. Taps is th one place we feel normal again
After my husband took his own life and there a few moments in the middle of the night when I desperately needed to talk to someone and TAPS was there to help me through some of my weakest moments. Recently, I have been on a retreat just for military wives who lost their husband. It was unbelievable! It has done so much for my healing. I no longer have to feel alone and have a massive support system and friends for life. For the first time in years someone was willing to take care of me and it was TAPS! Thank you TAPS for being such an incredible organization!
I lost my husband inAugust 2012. I attended my first conference in October the same year. My children love the Good Grief Group! I have been able to connect with other widows, and create friendships with people I never would have met. They understand. They listen, and they don't judge. They helped me get through, and continue to get through the worst experience of my life, and of my children's lives.
TAPS is a wonderful organization. When my husband took his like in December of 2011, I felt alone and hopeless. TAPS helped not only connect me to others who were grieiving, but to other suicide survivors and widows at every stage of grief. TAPS is made up of family. Without this organization, many would be stuck in the hopeless and alone stage of grief, but instead we are connected like family and always have someone to turn to.
I am a suicide widow. I reached out to TAPS several times in hope to get some guidance for my daughter who recently started having a hard time dealing with the death/cause of death of her father. After NUMEROUS emails to get some sort of help and 2 phone calls with promises to call back, I never heard a thing. Thank goodness for my local Veterans office. Thanks for NOTHING TAPS.
On March 26th, 2011 my son took his life while just a few months prior he was put in for a silver star for saving his platoon. It was lowered to a bronze with valor of which we received the day before his services. Our life was turned literally upside down the day our only son deployed to heaven.
I was part of a military mom support group of which I'm still part of but they no longer could understand where I was. I needed to communicate with others like me that could relate. When I found the TAPS online support group, I poured my heart and soul out to those people on the other end of those lines. It was one of the most useful tools I had for my healing. I don't know where I'd be today without that. Shortly there after I attended my first seminar what a blessing.
I am so grateful for tAPS and truly think they are awesome.. they do so much for so many.
When my husband passed away in July 2012, TAPS reached out to me. They called a few times to check in on me and offered a few different services. I would be lying if I said I could remember all they offered as that was the most difficult time of my life. They mailed us a box full of resources, coloring books on grief for my children, stuffed animals, and storybooks. These items helped me understand what my children were going through. In May 2013, I attended my first seminar in Washington D.C.. My children were paired with mentors and grew a bond that is indescribable. They offered a variety of activities for surviving adults to suit everyone's individual needs. At this moment, we are preparing to leave for another seminar in two days. Again, TAPS is exceeding expectations with grief based activities for adults and I have no doubt my children will also experience healing in a fun atmosphere with people that care about them. TAPS employees, especially Heather, have reached out to me during some of my most difficult times. I have recently been paired with a peer mentor and she has become a trusted friend. I honestly don't know what I would do without TAPS. What TAPS has done for my family is priceless.
I have been volunteering at TAPS since 2002. I have spent my own money flying all over the country to serve the TAPS Families. But TAPS and their families had served me as well. I feel like I'm doing something for my country by volunteering at TAPS and I've made lifelong connections with their families. I've done a lot if volunteering and charity work but NONE compare to the work of TAPS.
After my husband was K.I.A on 26 July 12 I was contacted in a very timely manner by a TAPS representative. The lady I spoke with was kind, warm and friendly and empathetic. For the first 6 months after my late husband made his transition I remained home in MI. (I was there on vacation when notified). Once I was able to start functioning on my own again I moved back to CO. Shortly after I landed in CO. I touched base with TAPS, whom had kept in contact with me over the months I stayed in MI., and was connected with a TAPS mentor. I am happy to say that now almost a year later, my TAPS mentor and I have become close friends and her and her family welcomed me and my children into their family with open loving arms. She plays a very important role in my support system. I have no family out here in CO. so being "adopted" by her and her family has be instrumental in my healing process. I am truly grateful to this program and everything they stand for and do. Years down the road when I hope to "pay-it-forward" and become a TAPS mentor myself. No one should have to go through their loss alone. Namaste!
Literally may not have survived without them. When I am at any TAPS event I feel "normal," which doesn't happen anywhere in this world now. And I can't say enough about heir programs for children.
When my husband first died in May of 2009, I was lost. I was no longer an Army wife, but now a 25 year old widow. Since he died while in treatment for Leukemia from his tour in Iraq and while as a Reservist, most organizations said I didn't fit their criteria, or no one could relate. I found TAPS and they welcomed me. I had someone that truly cared about me it felt and could relate somewhat! I went to my first regional seminar not knowing anyone. I was nervous and a little scared I wouldn't fit in. The seminar started and I met others. People around my age widowed too! People that weren't judging or telling me to get over it or that it was meant to be. TAPS was like a new family. I laughed. In public!! I cried, I shared, and I started making connections. I have several people who are now like family and my best friends because of TAPS. I don't know that I would have come as far as I have without them. They've been there day and night for questions, support, and love. I recommend them to any new survivor I meet to check into. Judgement free.
After we lost our son in June of 2010 TAPS reached out to us, while at that time none of our family was ready to reach back, they continued off and on for the next 2 years to let us know that they were still there if we needed, a card in the mail or a quick email to let us know they were still there when we were ready. When I finally responded back I was so amazed with the caring and understanding that we were treated with even though it had been 2 years and 8 months since our son had died. They understood where I was in my grief, found me local support groups and counselers if we were interested. But most of all they were there, just consistant in thier willingness to be there. My husband and I have been to a TAPS retret and eveyone was so supportive. I'm taking thier course to be a peer mentor and hopefully help another Mothere through her loss.
I would not know where I would be without TAPS. I lost my son, SPC Caleb Zachary Mills, on April 6, 2013. Almost immediately, TAPS was there to hold my hand. And they are still here today. Not only for me, but for the ENTIRE family. They made that the grandparents and my daughter received the same support and guidance as I did. I will forever be grateful to TAPS.
My son was killed while on active duty in the Air Force 2 years ago. The Taps organization reached out to us with a care package specific for grieving military survivors. Initially I did not use much of the resources, but the months passed and I returned to their care package and began to see resources that would benefit me. The on line chat, peer mentoring and survivor seminars are all well designed to give the grieving survivors a safe place to work through their grief. They offer 24 hour 7 days a week support and have crafted programs specific to the individual based on relationship to the fallen and type of loss. (Accident, killed in action, etc.) Taps relies heavily on volunteers, and private donations. They keep their hired staff to a minimum to ensure the maximum funding is used for survivor support programs. I highly recommend the Taps organization as one of the best charitable organizations around.
My fiancé died in 2009 in Okinawa Japan due to a heart attack, after his death I was lost. Being only 19 at the time most people didn’t know how to respond to me, I didn’t fit anywhere, I didn’t have anyone to talk to, until I got an email for a retreat TAPS was having for widows and significant others. I went on the trip knowing no one, and I left as part of a family. That’s what TAPS is a family, a group of different people with different stories coming together to help support one another through their journey. TAPS has always made me feel like belong, even if I wasn’t married and my fiancé didn’t die in combat, and TAPS has changed my life completely, I’m always rejuvenated when I come home after a TAPS event.
Our son died by suicide in May of 2010. T.A.P.S. found my daughter who was working for the Samaritans which is another support system, they were impressed with her and courted her to work for them. Our son is a Marine and loved being a Marine. TAPS is made up of loving people who become your family. We have voluntered (to be PEER MENTORS) our services to help others that have been put into the same loss. There is nothing that a person from TAPS won't try to do for you , if it's possible to be done they will get it done. Because of our TAPS training (PEER MENTOR) we have been able to help several people and their comments say they are in a better place mentaly. We have made life long friendships with people who are now called our Family.
My husband died in Iraq in 2006. We have two sons, one was just ten weeks and the other 3 years old. The 3 year old was devastated, his Dad; at even such a young age was his best friend. They had an instant connection the minute he was born. Telling him his father was never coming home was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. The next few years as he grew he had more questions and feelings that I couldn't really answer or didn't know how to without becoming very emotional.
I found TAPS through some other widow friends of mine that had attended. Our first year was 3 years ago. The first year seemed to not really do much for either, although they seemed a little more at ease with talking about Daddy and what happened to him when it came to me. With others they didn't have an issue at all. The second year, my then 9 year old seemed to open up and not be so angry all the time. Slowly, it all made sense to him why he hurt and was angry. Last year he was 10 and the change in him was enormous! He finally had a mentor he could really "connect" to. One that really listened to him, really understand how he felt and took the time to talk to him about everything. He keeps in contact with my son every so ofter when his busy military career allows for him to. The difference is, the anger is gone, when he is sad, he knows its okay to be sad. The sadness will pass but it's okay in the moment. TAPS shows kids, widows, families and soldiers how to grieve properly and in a healthy manner. That is the most rewarding thing to see as a parent, your child making that connection and not fighting it.
My younger son, didn't know his Daddy only OF his Daddy. He didn't suffer the same depth of loss as my older son did. But he seemed to have issues with not feeling the same as his brother. TAPS and their programs and mentors have helped him see that, there is NOTHING wrong with that either. He has learned that it is okay to not miss a man he didn't know, not feel the loss that his brother does. That alone has done wonders for him and how he feels about all of this.
The family side to TAPS is wonderful! I am engaged and my new family needed a way to find the "new normal" in our lives. We needed help with how to make it work, what to expect, how to share Daddy but not over do it, how to include my fiancé but not make him feel overwhelmed. The kids needed to know it was "okay to love a new 'Dad'" it was "okay to call him by his name or Dad". They needed to have someone else share, other kids share how they feel about "the new man in Mommy's life" and the mentors have been wonderful with that.
I think TAPS is a wonderful tool for any family who is in this situation. No matter what your relationship is to the situation they have something for you. We will go every year until the boys don't want to anymore and I hope at that time they will then be mentors to others in their situation.
When I lost my brother Sgt Marcus Mathes in 2008, I felt helpless and alone in my "sibling grief". I had no idea that there were others feeling exactly the SAME way.
When a TAPS retreat was suggested, I was apprehensive about not knowing anyone. However, after 3 days with the incredibly caring TAPS staff-- I felt like part of a family I didn't even know that I had.
I am excited to continue my journey with this organization and encourage anyone I can to do the same!
TAPS is a great organization. I have volunteered with TAPS as a mentor during the Good Grief Camps at Camp Pendleton. This program has helped so many children cope with the loss of their loved ones. It was such an awesome experience to hear the stories of the service members told from the eyes of a child. It is amazing what TAPS has done and continues to do to support the military families through some of the hardest times in their lives after the loss of their loved ones.
TAPS changed the course of my grief. Incredible to know that in the midst of tragedy I have gained a new family who can relate to me in ways no one else can
I first learned who and what TAPS was last October. We lost our son, Sgt. Clinton Ruiz, in Afghanistan on 10/25/12. The team at TAPS were extremely loving and considerate. The routinely checked in on me and my family. They sent cards and packages of information to assist us with the various challenges that presented us. They continue to check up on us and offer assistance. I am very thankful that this organization exists.
TAPS came through for me when my family and I needed them most. After losing my little brother Michael, a Lance Corporal in the United States Marine Corps, during his service, I quickly received a TAPS care package. In the weeks that followed, TAPS reached out with continual phone support, allowing me to vent and grieve to someone I knew could understand my loss (all TAPS volunteers and staff have been helped by TAPS' services). Even beyond the initial months of phone support, I was invited to events that allowed me to (1) bond with other military loss survivors, (2) learn what to expect in the days ahead and learn how to manage my grief journey, and (3) tell Michael's story in venues that allowed my family's loss to be used for good. I can't say enough good things about TAPS; they have truly changed my trajectory and are one of the most honestly-serving nonprofits I've ever come across.
We lost my husband to suicide in March of 2012. He had been in the Army for nearly 20 years and not only did we lose him, we feared we lost our military family as well. TAPS provided a lifeline immediately-- a source of comfort and practical support from the moment we knew my husband would come off life support right up into the present. Because it is a peer-based organization there isn't a single employee or volunteer who doesn't "get it." My children and I have been so blessed and buoyed up by TAPS seminars, Good Grief Camps and just a community of really wonderful people. I am forever grateful for the family TAPS has created for us.
My brother was KIA in Iraq in March 2008, and I fully believe I would either not be here today or would not be a functional adult without the truly amazing support and guidance I received from TAPS. TAPS helped me to know that I wasn't alone and that my brother will always be remembered and honored with their organization. They have helped me learn and then reach out and help other surviving sibling, which in turn, helps me as well. I'm so proud to be part of the TAPS Family!
Having been a volunteer for 6+ years, have served in a variety of positions. I believe in what TAPS stands for, in their methods of service and in the staff and volunteers they work with. Their MENTOR Program is the best and strongly believe it serves our fallen heroes in supporting their loved ones!