My Nonprofit Reviews

What is ‘normal’?
Sule Altuntas
HAF Volunteer

According to who or what is something assumed to be regular? We all live in different worlds, cultures and environments, what is the normal we have to uphold? When I was a little child, my parents and I went to Turkey to visit our family and to enjoy our holidays. Everything was fun and nice until I had to go to the bathroom myself and was confused. There were no toilets where we could sit like I was used to at home, the Netherlands. Here, there was just a hole in the ground. I remember my exact thoughts: “how do people live like this?”

In other words, I was shaming the country and people for their bathroom, because we in the Netherlands use the “standard” toilets. Then, when we got back home my mother and I visited a colleague of hers, a 100% Dutch woman. We sat down in the living room and was offered some tea or juice, then the drinks were served and we both got a small cookie. I was drinking my juice and ate my cookie but was waiting for the real feast to be served, because that is how it is done in the Turkish culture. The host has to serve and prepare many food and drinks, the guests should be made as comfortable as possible, and that was the ‘normal’ for me in hosting people. Again, I was shaming the country and people due to their manners to host guests because, in contrast to Turkey, this was not the way to host people.

Even I who grew up in mixed cultures and blended environments was framing and forcing my own standards onto each minor thing that was not the normal that I took out of one of the cultures. Yes, we humans have our own ways and yes, each individual differs from one another, but the crucial thing is that we respect each other and that we do not stereotype and distance ourselves from the traditions and manners of others. However, this is easier said than done, and before I came to this mindset, I had my parents telling me a lot of times that every place and home can differ and that I should not have my own expectations on everything because everybody has their own way of doing things.

I am still trying to teach myself to be neutral and welcoming towards differences, that is why I found myself in Marrakech with the discover project of AIESEC. Today is my first day at the High Atlas Foundation, a place where people help and support others, and a place which gives me the opportunity to develop myself and to discover a small part of the amazing rich Moroccan culture, in hope that I will be able to bridge a small part of a big gap between different cultures.