My Nonprofit Reviews

25 years ago, I was surprised and overwhelmed to learn that I was expecting twins. All seemed to be going well, except that the doctors became someone concerned at 6-7 months in my pregnancy. I soon learned that they were concerned because it appeared
Twin B ( Matthew) growth seemed to be slowing and he was much smaller that
Twin A -( Daniel). They started performing test after test, monitoring me and the babies and were at that time unsure what was happening. They placed me in the hospital on Thanksgiving day of 1992 and mentioned that it appeared Matthew had passed and that I would probably go into preterm labor at 28 weeks, or that the deceased baby would pass blood clots to me/and possibly to Daniel, which could take both our lives, or that Daniel could end up with CP or blind if my body could not break down the blood clots. I was in the hospital for 2.5 weeks with no sign of preterm labor. I began preparing myself, asking lots of questions about what to expect, what to watch for and never stopped searching for answers. I read a lot of articles with the help of nurses who brought me information on Twin to Twin Transfusion was very rare at that time. That is when I read an article about Mary and her experience, fortunately there was a number for her in the article. I called her, we talked for several hours, and learned at that time that we both had a Matthew. I cried openly as she told me her story, I asked questions and she answered them. I kept in touch with her now for over 25 years and I hope that she knows just how much she helped me when I had no one else to talk to. She sent me information, articles and we have not lost contact. Once released I went to the clinic for a follow up and the student resident told me that he heard two heartbeats, which I became hysterical and asked for my doctor who came back in and did a sonogram to show me that Matthew was indeed deceased. The turmoil and loss set in again. I went through several blood tests, monitoring sessions, constant dr appts ofter 2 - 3 times week. On February 2nd they did a amio to see if Daniels lungs were mature enough to deliver ( NO NOT YET) as my body was fighting to break down the clots and very worried about both of our lives.. On February 11 -14th they tried inducing, nothing worked, I became very stressed and told them that GOD would watch over us and that when he felt the time was right, I would deliver both at the same time, they sent me home for 24 hours, brought me back at Midnight on the 14th during a snow storm and started the process again, 48 hours later, at 12:33pm and 12:34pm, I delivered both my babies without any family with me, I remember the tears flowing heavily as I delivered Daniel and soon followed by Matthew. The room was quiet and flowing with so many doctors and I heard Daniel's first cry.....I kept all of this to myself and later called Mary to talk to her and cried while telling her. I then had the opportunity to see both of the boys , hold them both, and then fill out the paperwork and plan a funeral and the whirlwind of emotions, both joy and saddness that filled my life, the emptiness of losing a baby, the love of my 2 boys at home and a newborn. I will never forget this experience, I will never forget the support and love that I felt from Mary, that I was not alone, and that it was ok to think about Matthew, love Matthew, and never forget him. 25 years later, I look at his things, remember holding both my boys, and then the time of answering everyones questions, and that everytime I walked into a room, it became very quiet. Just remember if you are dealing with Twin to Twin Transfusion, please know it is ok to cry, it is ok at be sad, it is ok to talk about both the babies, it is ok to grieve, it is not easy, but stay strong and believe that GOD has a special plan. You are much stronger than you believe, that is what Mary taught me. Love you always Mary and thank you for always being here for me before, during and everyday.