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Review for MaleSurvivor: National Organization Against Male Sexual Victimization, New York, NY, USA

Rating: 4 stars  

Bear with me as I explain my connection to

I'm a single female and while surfing some offbeat websites with chat functions, a man contacted me who wanted to talk with me. He had a photo up and he was attractive, so I chatted with him online. Over time, we emailed quite a bit, spoke on the telephone and eventually met. But the truth was, although it turned out he was very successful, he was also very erratic in his moods and really didn't like anyone to get too physically close to him. He would make dates then cancel them. This went on for months. He alluded to some childhood sexual abuse, but didn't discuss it in depth.

After about 4 months of this, I REALLY wanted to know what was going on with him, so I started looking for answers. It took me another 4 months to find the website MaleSurvivor.Org, but I'm so glad I did. I went to the discussion forums and read and read and read and read when men had posted about their feelings about their abuse, and the effects on almost every area of their lives. After a bit, I began posting and sending private messages to some of the men, the men who seemed to have the most similar symptoms to the man I was communicating with. There was one man especially, an older gentleman, who had a lot of the same issues who pointed me to about 6 or 7 books to read, and 3 movies, to help me understand. They did help me immensely, and finally, about 12 months after first contacted by my friend, I got a clue. If you haven't been abused, and haven't had a heart to heart talk with anyone who has been, it's impossible to imagine all the problems it causes, just crazy off the wall stuff an unabused person would never think of.

I will say, it was kind of hard to endure some of the remarks from the women in the "Friends and Family" section. They didn't approve of the nature of my communication with this man, and they certainly let me know it. However, when I realized I had a friend with a 12 year old boy inside of him, I couldn't refuse to communicate with the 12 year old. He was lonely and appreciated someone talking with him.

Dealing with an adult who has a child inside him, and enduring the inner conflict this engenders in a man, is no easy task. Takes the patient of Job.

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

On their discussion forums, since they focus on sexual abuse, they declined to set up a discussion section for those physically abused as children, such as being beaten. This is unfortunate because I believe these forms of abuse have similar effects. One of the most pathetic men I ever spoke with in my life had been viciously beaten by his father for years as a child. The man was totally broken and lost, and he was DEFINITELY an "underserved" population.

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Role:  General Member of the Public