MaleSurvivor: Online Support Forum for Sexually Abused / Assaulted Men

Sexual abuse is hard to talk about. Where do you go when those abused are your sons, you want to help them heal and you are hurting too? This was my situation when I found MaleSurvivor: Online Support Forum for Sexually Abused/Assaulted Men. The forum is available 24/7 , free, and monitored carefully to ensure the online chat rooms are safe places for survivors and their loved ones to heal. The kindness and support I have received from the online community this extraordinary nonprofit has created, has allowed me to feel hope in despair and to really be there for my sons in their healing journeys. Survivors give me frank advice on what to say or not say and what to expect on this difficult process. I am so deeply thankful to everyone at MaleSurvivor for making the world a better place and offering solace and strength to survivors of this trauma at no cost and with endless compassion and empathy.

I am not even an American citizen, I'm from Belgium; but MaleSurvivor was and is a great website, I first came to this website in 2007, long ago, when the cats and dogs still spoke :)
There was no other site with the important information that sexual abuse of young boys was not that strange; and where you could talk with other CSA-survivors; I was not alone then; and I'm not alone now. Even when I came every day/hour (in 2007) on this site, so I survived my state at the time. I'm still going back often, much lesser then before, but I'm so happy to know it still exists; as this site gives me an outlet, whereI know I will be accepted. Here I can be vulnerable, without the prejudice. The prejudice I believe is often in the eyes, voices or thoughts of the people I talk to.

Male Survivor has been a life line to my healing. I was unraveling and I could not control the past, it had taken over my being, my sense of self was totally shattered, and the abuser had gained control over me. I began therapy and almost 13 years ago I found Male Survivor. I spent months reading the words of others, their struggles, their successes, their regressions, and in their words I could feel and see their pain. Their pain was my pain. I was in denial believing I could control the unprocessed abuse I lived as a child. I began to share with my therapist and those here at Male Survivor. As my therapist said he understood the emotional aspects but could not feel the pain I was living but could guide me to free myself from the abuse and abuser. The survivors at Male Survivor had the insight and understanding of their pain and the pain all survivors suffered. They also understood we resort to coping mechanisms that are generally unhealthy, bringing temporary relief because to accept the abuse seems unthinkable.

I began to slowly share my abuse with those at Male Survivor. I found camaraderie with other survivors. There was no judgment of the past or one's coping mechanisms. Rather, there was a sharing of experiences, empathy and compassion. I came to accept my abuse was a part of me, but it did not have to control me. I learned we all respond differently to our abuse, we all heal differently and we must move forward and accept we may stumble. Male survivor has been there to pick me up during those difficult and challenging times.

Male survivor has been a life saver for me. I rate the leadership and members of Male Survivor a 5 Star on all fronts.

Kevin

This site was found with my last ounce of strength to live had just found out what I had on hand injected would be instant death

But allowed myself one last reworded search an there it was people just me me in a safe place able to talk openly without fear or shame
Saved my life

I now help run a group home for mentally challenged men I have a purpose now without me being here the dope heads I've run away would abuse the vulnerable men here by saving my life this site has helped me give a voice to those rejected an outcast an make sure their lives are safer

I was taught to love honer an respect this site offers all that and more

My life not worth much to me now has meaning I'll draw strength to use helping my new friends with their lives

Poundpup

I found Male Survivor at a time in my life when nothing was making sense... I was desperate to figure out the pain I was in and connect with others that might understand and help me to feel less alone in the world.

What I discovered all but saved me. The men I met and spoke to, although not professionals, offered me guidance and support to keep going. For this I was be forever grateful as otherwise, I'm not sure I'd still be here.

Thank you Male Survivor!

I was referred to MaleSurvivor by a therapist. The ability to share and hear the stories and struggles of other survivors helped as much as therapy sessions, in some ways more. It is the only place that I’ve found ( that includes my own family) where the compassion and support is unconditional. The linked resources and especially the insights and suggestions of the others members has been invaluable to my journey towards healing.

Male Survivor has been a literal life-changer for me. If you were sexually abused or assaulted and are a man, or if you are a friend / family of a man who was, this is a great place to find support and understanding of this sad situation and the consequences of it on men.

I am so thankful to all those who support this site through their donations and who volunteer their time to make a difference for all these men (including me) and the boys who still live inside them who are desperate to be heard and understood.

MS is often where male survivors first break their silence. Shattering that isolation is profoundly empowering. I’ve been a member since 2011. Being in a community of fellow survivors, I am enveloped in a unique understanding.

While thinking about my experience, I realized in 13 years I never had or witnessed a negative encounter. I believe that fact speaks to the moderators' quality and the organization's core.

The site offers helpful information regarding CSA and abuse as well as a plethora of links to further assist. The members are, for the most part, friendly, open and willing to lend an ear.

That being said, the site has helped me to only regress more. It has also made me feel like the odd one out.

I do not feel it is capable of actually assisting in healing with the use of its website directly. I have been an active user for a few months, have posted in the forums and have participated in the chat rooms.

Posting in the forums is always a toss up; many will read your post but few will respond. It is a good way to express yourself, however if you're hoping for a response, it may not be the best.
One thing I think they should add is for the user who posted to see how many views their post got. That way, even if no one responds, they at least feel seen instead of ignored.

The chat rooms are a hit or miss; Participation is usually expected in a chat room but it's nearly impossible to participate if joining in the middle of a conversation. There are no backlogs, so you'll have no idea what they're talking about unless they explain it to you. In a room filled with four or more people, the liklihood of that happening is low. I understand backlogs cannot happen though because there may be sensitive information shared.

My suggestion for the chat room is to make more rooms. There are currently only 5 rooms and on Sundays and extra room for about two hours. Perhaps they can add a room specifically meant for younger members (18-35) as well as one for older members.

Another thing they could add would be in a personalized private section (that has the option of being publicly seen) is an online journal. It would help those members that want to post in the forums but aren't quite ready yet. It would also help those that have not begun writing down their journey to possibly start.

I've only been registered a little less than a week. But the forum has been a breath of fresh air. It really is nice knowing I can discuss my trauma with others and get the reassure from others on the forum that I'm not alone. I've also read some things on the forum that applied to me that I didn't know.

The MaleSurvivor Support Forum has provided me with the ability to interact with fellow survivors of sexual abuse. For the first time in my seventy-seven years I am able to openly discuss my sexual trauma with others that have experienced similar abuse. This is done through sharing our experiences in a nonjudgemental, empathetic, compassionate, and healing atmosphere. I have never revealed or discussed my abuse with anyone until registering as a victim/survivor with MaleSurvivor in April of 2023, all was held inside for over seventy-five years. Being able to openly discuss my and share my abuse, while hearing of my fellow brothers suffering, has been literally life changing!

MaleSurvivor receives 5 stars from me. been a member for over 2 years and i have participated nearly every day since joining. being free and accessible to the public made it available to me and continues to enrich my life as it does for so many. so much support from fellow survivors who relate and understand. it is truly a unique experience to be a part of such an amazing online community. very grateful for all of the wonderful volunteers and members who makes MaleSurvivor what it is. I have learned so very much in my short time here and recommend it to any survivor of sexual abuse or anyone who's loved one is a survivor of sexual abuse. the support is tremendous. i would have continued to stagger through life blindly with out all of the support, wisdom, encouragement, compassion and resources here at MS. my involvement here has lead me to positive choices in my life such as seeking help from doctors and starting therapy. life may always be difficult but MaleSurvivor truly helps me.

The best community for male abuse survivors. Filled with people willing to listen to your thoughts and experiences and offer support when you need it.

I only recently joined MaleSurvivor so my perspective is limited by time. However in the short time MaleSurvivor has become a daily go to place for me to hear some terrible yet obviously true stories and for me to post bits of mine. It's clear a lot of others have found great healing there. I'm not there yet but grateful MaleSurvivor is there.

I’ve been a member of this group for some time now and I can’t overstate how much it has helped me. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly heard and understood by people who genuinely get it. This isn’t just a place to share experiences, it’s a community of men who support each other, no matter how heavy the burden.

Being able to talk openly about things I’ve kept buried for years has been life changing. The empathy and encouragement remind me that I’m not alone and that healing is possible, even if it feels impossible at times.

This group is a safe space where there’s no judgment, only understanding and compassion. If you’re a survivor and you’re looking for somewhere to feel seen and supported, I highly recommend joining. It helped me more than I can put into words.

Finding this group was the start of a long healing journey that was years behind schedule. I can't say enough how much the interaction, the acceptance, and the overall community aided in healing from something that should never happen to people. I'm glad there are places like this.

It is so hard trying to open up about being sexually abused at a very young age. I'm still traumatized from the mental and physical abuse by the hands of authorities. I have been in a lot counseling but I'm still suffering from severe pain.

it has been a lifesaver. literally. I don't know what I would do without MS.

The site is helping me heal from the trauma from being a victim and then victim blamed has caused me.

It's very difficult to find any source of support for men who have been sexually abused. We are treated as scum by many other people. Our trauma is not taken seriously. We're called liars, weaklings, etc., by people who have not been sexually abused, and by most women. It is good to find a website like Male Survivor, where we can find support and understanding. We are taken seriously on this website. Our trauma is taken seriously. There should be many websites like this, as well as resources for us to go to i the real world, as there are for women. For now, we have Male Survivor. I hope it will always be here.

When I first found this site I was in pretty bad shape. I felt alone and trapped in a place of low self esteem and frustration as I couldn’t talk to anyone who really understood what I was going thru. I’ve been able to post my struggle and receive feedback from guys that understand me and know what I’ve been through. I’m so thankful for this site and the men that support one another.

This service has been there for me when nobody else was. It’s a gathering point which prevents such agonising isolation for so many individuals, families and affected members of society. For a topic that barely gets surfaced in mainstream discourse, what the loving people who run this organisation have been able to maintain is nothing short of miraculous.

I was in crisis. The emotional weight of the secret I kept for more than 60 years was crushing me. Then I found MS. Any thought I had that my experience was too unique to be understood was brushed away within minutes of viewing some of the topics posted. Members were very welcoming and non-judgemental and were generous with answers to my questions when I had them, especially where I could search for a therapist. The site, itself, has a great guide on how to select one.

This site has been a literal lifeline to thousands of men - myself included. Male Sexual Abuse is a topic that many people are uncomfortable with talking about even in todays world. This site is a safe place where guys can come and openly and confidentially talk about things that never should have happened to them. In this site they find support and understanding at a level that they are unlikely to find anywhere else. They even have a chat room where guys can talk directly with other survivors in real time to find support and understanding of the things that they are currently going through.

Great forum and resources that mean a lot to me. It's a safe place, where we are understood and where we can talk about our issues freely. It helped me a lot.

Male survivor provides much needed support for men who have been sexually abused. It is a large online community of survivors who understand the struggles one experiences due to abuse. It is a safe place. For myself personally it has helped me tremendously. I always felt very alone , It is not an issue one can openly discuss with non survivors. I have found support and fellowship here, I found Male Survivor by accident and am very thankful to have done so.

MaleSurvivor has been immensely helpful as a place to process my own trauma and help others with theirs. I’m so grateful for the staff and my fellow members.

MaleSurvivor has been an invaluable resource and an important part of my healing. It is highly recommended for any Man who has experienced sexual abuse/assault and needs an understanding, non-judgmental community.

I found this support site when I was at one of the lowest points in my life! I could have never imagined that I would find such a place. Spending most of my life feeling completely alone… only to discover there is a whole group of men with similar struggles as me. It is my safe space.

The best club you wish you never had to join!
It's all volunteer run, for survivors, by survivors. It's fantastic to be able to connect with others, to remove the isolation from this hideous trauma. So many things make sense now.

You're not alone either. If you've been abused, come join us.

I serve on the board for this organization. As a young child, I was sexualy abused by my little league baseball coach. Now, some six decades later, I find it healing to offer services and support to many thousands of other survivors worldwide. This organization does awesome work for the survivor community, and is truly worthy of a high rating.

This organization has little oversight and doesn't listen to it's members. They refuse to delete your account, holding your information hostage, which is illegal.

They allow predators and pedophiles free access to personal information by survivors with little attempt to moderate.

I did have some great conversations with members, but would not recommend them if you value your privacy or safety.

I had great hopes for this organization. Now I'm definitely not sure. I registered last night and tried half a dozen times to get my registration confirmed. I never got an email back. I also sent a message via the site: same problem. No response whatsoever.

Now I'm wondering if this is a legitimate charity or some kind of scam, especially considering that it has a 73 rating from Charity Navigator.

It all looks good (the site, the name, etc., that is) but...

I am a fan of this site. As a survivor I found its forums easy to access and informative. As a clinician, I did not hesitate to recommend it to clients as a resource. In my early years as an academic, I also presented some of my community based work at their conference in New York. This is a great nonprofit to which I have also donated. Stay strong and true!

I hope and pray that everyone harmed by the abuse they focus on can find their way to partake in their forums and webinars. It is extremely difficult at times to face, and there's some solace in realizing you are not alone.

This organization works with nearly an entirely volunteer staff and manages to have an invaluable Discussion Forum where male survivors of sexual abuse can connect (usually anonymously) and share experiences, ask questions, and thereby create a personal network. This is crucial for a population that is isolated, shamed, and often desperate. In addition, it provides a wealth of information, a live chat room, occasional national conferences, and a reference for finding a therapist with an interest in working with sexually abused men.

As a survivor of sexual, physical, mental, and emotion assault throughout my childhood, I began to face the trauma as an adult. Malesurvivor was a crucial support in doing that and still is to this day. Healing feels like it will never end, but I use Malesurvivor as a place for information, comradery, and support.

I have found the Webinars so supportive and helpful. I've connected with other men and learned of new books and authors who wouldn't have otherwise been on my radar. This is so valuable and affirming.

Essential service in our age of taboo and shame. We need more organizations like thèse.

I know the experience the participants receive is top notch because the leaders and facilitators/therapists are deeply caring and knowledgeable about the social, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual depletions abuse survivors endure.
Thank you .. Terri
PS Jim Struve, you are an amazing man and human being.

MaleSurvivor stands out as one of the few organizations offering a voice to men who have experienced sexual abuse and assault. The knowledge, community, and compassion that this organization provides are unparalleled. I am so thankful an organization like this exists. Make sure to designate MS as your recipient for Smile purchases on Amazon to continue to support this important work!

Excellent resource for information connection and support. all top notch

Excellent. They do great work that directly benefits a group that's socially excluded.

Helped me realize I wasn't alone in the journey of recovering from the past.

extraordinarily helpful and supportive. Assisting a group that is pretty much completely ignored by society.

I found this site when all hope was gone with the Child Sexual Abuse I sufferend as a youth and have obtained stories, help, and suggestions to help me heal. There's folks from all walks of life with different stories but all with the same problems when it comes to healing from CSA. The members are educated and have years of experience with therapists and the knowledge to help the new folks that come on and guide them for the right help with their healing. The brotherhood and support is amazing.

Male Survivor was an unexpected find for me over 15 years ago. I didn’t know I needed what they offered but I did. It was a refuge, a safe haven and a source of great encouragement. Male Survivor continues to be a great help to me as I utilise their services on and off. I also love being able to refer Male Survivor to others I know.

A supportive platform with a wealth of community knowledge.

I used this organization primarily as a resource to ensure I wasn't alone in what I experienced. This was instrumental in a healing process that, up to that point, had been unproductive. Full disclosure I never engaged directly with anyone specifically associated with this website other than reading the testimonials. The very first step I found was to realize I was not alone. So for those who are just seeking your own path, check them out.

I'm a survivor of abuse in foster care and by family thank you for having this sight to help us hope it continues for a along time

I attended one of their Weekend of Recovery events and it was life changing. It was the first time I did not feel alone in my suffering. To this day, their chat boards give me a place to go when I’m struggling. I am alive today because of Male Survivor. They helped me survive.

Excellent source for supporting resources for men in recovery from sexual abuse.

As a co-founder of the organization that evolved into MaleSurvivor, I cannot be prouder of the nonprofit it has become. It has provided much needed and excellent service to this oft-neglected group of men.

As a male survivor of sexual abuse, I turned to MaleSurvivor for help and support. I believe in MaleSurvivor for those who need assistance and guidance. This organization believes in helping others and they have a lot of resources to be of help to men and boys in need, as those who support and love them.

The community made me realize the things I thought were the most abnormal about me are actually quite common in survivors. From alone to accompanied.

Anenormous valuable support organization for male survivors and their friends and families.

For the longest time, I've kept my secret bottled up because I had no place that I felt comfortable enough to goto and discuss the nightmarish he'll I live with every day until now. Being able to chat with others like myself and actually be honest without the feeling of embarrassment or that want to run and hide has been somewhat healing. I feel more comfortable here that I have ever been sneaking to a Therapist directly or within a lgroup of multiple issues. This allows us the ability to focus on that of which has brought us all here without prejudices.

I would recommend this place to any male survivor.

This group provides support with street-cred for so many seeking to find the words, the reasons, and the connection to describe their circumstance. There is a large amount of support in different parts of the organization, and their website really helps me and my family.

Hello to all of you. My name is Rene, (which is my middle name). I am the wife of Dr. S (Jacob) W. Who everyone calls Jake. He's the best man that ever come in to my life. He and I both joined the Male Survivor forum after a most traumatic event happened to him very recently. As a mental health physician, I have always recommended this forum to my male patients to find support from other men. However, after his rapist hacked onto our computer and began an account the rapist was banned (banning me and my husband's accounts in the same sweep). While Jake and I found that to be a good security method to protect us from the assailant from his continued stalking, my husband and I agreed to request the administrator Nathan to reinstate our accounts.

I thought it was important to ask the board of directors to attempt to delete the account of the man who violated us and to possibly consider reinstating, so that my husband could have support from men who could relate to what just happened to him. Jake received kind emails and letters from a couple of men from the Male Survivor forum, who did not allow the ban to affect their desires to reach out and help support him. The human equation of helping others helped outside of this forum, while the leaders of the board decided not to reinstate us. They did not communicate anything to us. They did not explain what was happening to me or my husband.

My husband has suffered tremendous pain because of a couple of emails that the board of directors Nathan sent to him. These letters did convey a personal opinion. Jake alerted me that the board of directors was taking a defensive mode to addressing him instead of giving him the help and support he had requested. He had asked him if he could send him the email or contact information of a therapist. But no one from the board would answer his plea for help. This shocked me.

I'm a physician and psychiatrist. Even if my patient came to me with a problematic life, if he pleaded for help I would not turn him away. I would not lock him out. I would not allow myself to be guilty of hurting an individual intentionally. The men of the forum are great people. I had the opportunity to get to know a few of those men. I give them the high praise of this review. The board of directors failed my husband.

The forum does not have a contingency plan to help men (like my husband) who have presently been assaulted. They do not know how to escalate problems such as the one that happened with my husband. It saddens me when a forum, I used to recommend to my own male patients, would force me to second guess. I don't believe I could trust that my other male patients wouldn't come to find similar issues.

As far as race issues, I read what the board of directors stated. Quite frankly, there is absolutely no way that they can prove they are not racist any more than Jake can prove they are. The point is, my husband, as a member of the forum, has the right to comment on the experiences that have happened to him at that forum. both he and I thank the men of that forum who did willingly give some support. We give them high praise and appreciation.

The Board of Director's leaders should have known better than to become personal with my husband, or to attempt to hurt him emotionally. He should've known better than to express any opinion, accusation, negative or unkind words to a man who is vulnerable and who has just suffered sexual assault. He should not be responding under any of my husband's comments here, nor should he be sending him emails. He has only hurt my husband every time he does. I cannot recommend this place as long as someone like this leads this organization.

I appreciate all of you men at the forum. My husband and I could've used your friendship. It has been difficult walking this path with the man of my life after this assault. I did not post this here to provoke anyone to feel they have to defend themselves by spouting a bunch of canned type responses mixed with a defensive line or two. I just offered my humble opinion as to what happened at this forum to my husband. Thank you for your time. RRW MD

Hello. I am Jake, an MD. I recently went through a horrific experience of assault (by 3 men). This happened on MLK day very late at night. My wife, Rene, is an MD and insisted I visit this place in the attempt to talk to another man about what happened to me. I was in shock for a month and a half and finally decided to join this place. Both she and I joined the forum. We revealed ourselves to the men. Some of them actually were warm and welcoming. She was more comfortable than me but both of us depended on the shoulders of other men. In my profession I'm used to speaking publicly and with other people. However, not about assault. My entire world came crashing down around me that day. I haven't been able to find myself since that day.

I was able to connect to only 2 men at the forum who were serious about helping another person. I thank God for them. They have been willing to write emails outside the forum. Anonymity is required for me (because of my profession) to be able to go onto a forum and talk openly about what happened in its entirety. Little did I know that my assailant was nearby my home and able to find me on Twitter, Instagram and MS Forum. I assume it was because of my username, which I tend to use. He had connected via hot spot on me and my wife's Wi-Fi and established an account on the forum and began to cyber stalk me. I assumed they blocked. him. But he was able to open another account and this time he made up a story and lured people into discussions. He even responded under my posts. I know this because he admitted to me on Twitter private message what he had done there at MS Forum.

The forum caught on to him. But it took them an entire month to do that. They allowed this cyber stalker to not only create an account using my IP Address but he was stalking me to the forum. After the forum banned him, my wife contacted me in California (where I had gone for extensive therapies, for over a month. She, in her pregnant condition, was quite emotional and vulnerable when she explained that the MS Forum banned hers and my account along with the hacker's account because of using our IP Address.

In my absence my wife contacted the forum by Contact Us Form. She had asked the Website Manager and Board of Directors Nath.. L. to please help us. She informed him that we were victims of cyber stalking and hacking. She wanted very much to make certain I had a place to go, to talk about these difficult issues. She had been misguided in her thinking to believe that NL, (board of Directors member and website Manager) was serious about helping us.

Instead, NL emailed her a very personal email. He stated that I was inconsistent in my posts and that he would need to review all my accounts,. We had explained to him that I had a stalker and that stalker was also my assailant. I had hoped Nathan would understand and be knowledgeable on how to ban this man's account without infringing on me and my wife's liberty and right to post here at the forum. We did nothing wrong. We were victims of this hacker. However, NL, dealt with me haphazardly, according to my wife, and I totally concur. He didn't communicate with me outside that except to become defensive for himself. Never once did he try to console me or to protect me. He never advised me, nor provided any kind of help after I requested it.

I understood if the may be technical difficulties separating the hacker's account from ours. However, did not appreciate NL calling me "inconsistent". That is the same as calling the victim a liar. Since when does the Board of Directors NL. have the right to call a man a liar or inconsistent? I've had so much happen to me since this assault. I don't need another man to make me feel raped again. I only wanted someone to talk to.

I asked N L Board of Directors Website Manager to please refer a professional to me to talk to. I could not access the forum. The only way I could get NL to talk to me was by using the Contact Us Form. Then he would get back to me and not even read what I would say or ask. What I asked was not even addressed by him. NL never answered any of my questions about what happened to me and my wife's account. Why they could not separate our accounts from the hacker? NL ignored all of my pleas for help. I asked many many times to please send me someone to help me. It says right on the forum that your website will even suggest professional help. The neglect and negligence to offer support after sending personalized letters was irresponsible of the Board of Directors NL.

I had thought initially that it was because I am a black man. I had posted my picture temporarily on the forum. So I know they know I'm black. But I removed that picture because someone told me that was not a good idea. In my mind that's what all this is about. I feel not only violated by a rapist but the man at this forum behind the scenes of the website management is wielding and dealing how he wants to deal with me. He purposefully does not answer my questions, nor help me find answers or to gain any support whatsoever for the sexual assault I've just endured. I've been brutalized and have had my forum of support taken away from me, my hands tied, my mouth gagged. I have been silenced by my rapist and now by Nath.. L Board of Directors website manager. I don't know if it's because of my skin color. But I do know that I'm not being treated like a human being.

It's bad enough that I'm torn apart, ashamed, lost as a man. But now I have bore my soul to the forum, that I cannot even ask for help from anymore. I begged Nath.. to please help me. The man could care less if I live or if I die. I am only a number to him and unwanted person that he wishes would just go away. I don't know how to tell him, many nights I have wished that I could just disappear.

The men are wonderful here. They are not to blame for the lack of concern, connection or care that this board of directors has for a man who is going through a crisis of concern. One of my trigger words is "Shame" because my assailant said it so many times to my face. But I can't bear how much shame I feel now that I cannot even talk about what happened to me, not even to a stranger, a stranger. ~~Jake

My 5 Stars are for the male survivors only. I want to warn all men be careful what you write in public and private. The directors can see it all and will use it against you if they want to create a reason to rid of you. They have a certain demographic quota they want to reach. Money is actually involved with their meet and greet and other special programs. Also, the focus is more on men who were molested as children rather than those assaulted as adults. If you have any painful issues seek help from real professionals. The board of directors members either do not have a real working knowledge of how to help these men when they have questions or they enjoy hurting them painfully as Nath L. Board of Directors Website Manager did to me. I recently suffered the most horrific pain from sexual assault and Nath L. only appears to want to drive that dagger in further. I wish only the best to all survivors. I pity any man who falls victim to Nath Ls harmful emotional abuse and negative tactics. The men of this group are without a doubt worth having the forum for. But these men deserve a board of directors who really care about them, who will connect to them, who will have their backs and who will not go out of their way to hurt them like NL did to me.--Jake



This is the response of the MS Forum to my problem and issue with it.

MaleSurvivor 07/29/2021

MaleSurvivor offers hope, healing and support to all survivors regardless of race, sexual orientation and circumstances. We are 100% volunteer 26-year nonprofit, have a dedicated forum and chat moderator team dedicated to a safe and secure forum. This user was banned after violating the forum guidelines, and was warned prior to the ban for having multiple (3) accounts; we did not create a reason. We also applaud our MaleSurvivor Support Forum members for their unconditional acceptance and support for all survivors.


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Do you see how they completely dismiss everything I said that has happened. They are accusing me of making multiple accounts. My wife and I both had an account. But my assailant also created an account, violating and using my IP Address. Now the only reason I said this had anything to possibly have to do with my skin color was because I noticed a different response to me when I posted my photo. Someone said to me that they may have reacted to that. Also, Nath..L(who wrote the above response and still defending himself) almost as if he wants to interject that he is blameless for tying my hands, gagging me, silencing me. No, the man did not want to help me. Did not want me there. He never once tried to help me or offer support. Not once! I can't believe that a man would go so much out of his way to punish a man who just was raped and blame him for something he had no control over. I am a victim and a survivor. I am not guilty of having more than me and my wife's account. He has never told me why I am not allowed to get help, get support. He has never volunteered to offer any alternative. He is a cold man. He will not reach out to help me, when I have asked him for help. It has created a despair where there should be none. I have never had a man try so hard to silence me for telling the public of how I was assaulted and how my assailant not only violated my IP Address to get close to me and stalk me onto the forum, but the leader of a group abuse me for being a victim of that person's hacking. This abuse this Board of Directors has caused me is deep. I can't even get passed the bitterness of this pain he's caused me so that I can effectively deal with the assault!


I am the user that Nathan accuses of making multiple accounts. I have spoke the truth about how many accounts I have with my wife. I have also explained to him that the man who raped me stalked me onto the forum using my IP address. He's choosing, folks, not to believe me. He chooses not to help me. He chooses to not write me and verbally offer some kind of support. He chose to continue doing this. This place is for reviews. And I have truthfully offered my review. The men here, are absolutely amazing. I have made some friends and even receive correspondence from them on a weekly basis. My 5 stars is for them. The harsh part of my review is for the haphazard handling of my case. The truth they never addressed my cased. They punished me and my wife because of what a hacker accomplished on my IP address. The leadership of this forum never ever warned me that someone was attempting to violate my account. No one sent me a message about the violations against me. No one offered support for me after my account was banned. Nathan did answer 2 of my emails. One email was to say that he would not be revisiting the possible reinstatement of me and my wife's accounts. The other was to defend himself. However, he never should have defended himself when he was guilty of tying my hands, gagging me and silencing me.

Nath..La, I don't understand your issue with me personally. The fact is, you got personal with my wife (by email), in reference to me, while I was away in California. This all happened in my absence sir. You chose to not help me when I asked you, specifically, for help. You're no better than the goddamned rapist who raped me. No better!~~Jake

This place helped me through the hardest period of my life. I don't know what I would have done without this resource. Reading suggestions and encouragement from the members really put me on a good path.

When you've been sexually abused by a pedophile, it creates issues and experiences that, in recovery, are very difficult for non-abuse-survivors to understand. Even 40 years after the abuse ended (as in my case), you still respond to stress and certain circumstances that are just not relatable to others who have not been through the same mess.

Most of us survivors have learned through years of hard experience that we should not share our struggles with others. We simply aren't going to get an understanding response, even from people who care, because they cannot (fortunately for them) grasp the effects of having been raped as a child.

Malesurvivor provides a place where we can share our challenges with others who will understand. I first arrived there during one of those periods where I was close to shutting down because of the flashback of memories and the overwhelming sadness that was flooding my head. I am always grateful that malesurvivor forums exist as a safe place for me to share and find fellowship and a sympathetic ear. I hope one day to take advantage of some of their other offerings, as well. But for now it helps me tremendously in managing those rough days.

Dan

I was sexually abused from age 2, and later on, trafficked. It took me 17 years to free myself. Afterwards, I was, and at times still am, a wreck.
I've been in a mental hospital on numerous occasions, and suffer many physical injuries as well. A constant reminder of my past.

I have a therapist, but I missed the interaction with men who have been through the same ordeal. That's how I found MaleSurvivor.
I couldn't believe that there were so many men with the same feelings, pains, fears and hopes as I had. I cried and cried before I registered to be able to become part of the community.

I haven't regretted it for a second. I am so grateful for fellow survivors who had the strength to create this helpful website and wonderful forum.

My ex-husband is a male survivor. Sadly he let it take over his life. Our divorce was so traumatic for me. I turned to the Male survivor forum for insight and guidance. The discussions were so helpful with not only understanding him and his thought processes but understanding that I didn’t do anything wrong and letting go was the best thing I could do for both of us. I cherish those conversations and would recommend Male Survivor not only to survivors but to anyone who is involved with a male survivor. I only wish it had helped him as much as it helped me.

Very helpful in a time of need. Great resource for men who have experienced sexual abuse and are trying to come to terms with their experiences and the fallout, as well as their families and friends.

I was a member here for a short time. I was abused by men from 10 to 18 and it continues into adulthood. I don't like how the moderators are so heavy handed as soon as you say one negative thing about gay predators, they act like we must accept these people and heaven forbid you say the least bit negative thing about the gay community. They just can't wait to suspend you and throw you out. Glad I didn't pay as a supporting member. I was a gay man most of my adult life and never had issue when someone had the opinion what I was doing sexually with men was wrong but man the moderators get butt hurt and their feeling stepped on when you criticize the gay community. Locked out of my account and unable to go back and remove my story from the site. I would not give this site one thin dime as the people who were abused by gay men have the right to criticize the men that did this. Life would have been great had I never met a gay manipulator at a young age. Your moderator team sucks.

I am a survivor of childhood sex abuse beginning at age 5 until age 7. It was in the late fifties when something like that was not on too many peoples' radar. Certainly not mine. I come to MaleSurvivor for the comraderie and the understanding I need. I have an great therapist and my family tries to be as understanding as possible should I bring any of it up to them (wife of 38 years and 3 great adult children). MaleSurvivor is my go-to nearly daily for the support, the I've-been-there-too compassion and wisdom that I don't receive anywhere else. It has been a lifeline. For nearly 50 years I never told anyone - no one. My wife had no idea (but she thought there as something ). After summoning up the courage to make that first call and begin my therapy sessions I began to see that I'm not so alone. That's when my therapist told me about MaleSuvivor. I looked into it and the rest is history, so to speak. I am not alone. It wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong. I need to hear that daily and that's why MaleSurvivor is so important.

my therapist steered me to M/S but being who i am it took me a couple of months to look into it , im in my 60's and was never in a chat room but i went in to see how it worked and right away i felt at home the guys i met and chatted with overall were a nice crowd and i liked being there , plus the healing circle came to be super important to me i tried to attend both nights a week it was held, i made some good friends in chat which kinda surprised me even met one of the guys for dinner in NYC had a real nice time, all in all M/S in a sense saved me from the madness that had over taken my life at the time , im still in chat at least 4 nights a week and volunteer as a greeter to help out and donate $ when i can , i feel like a part of a community here along with others like me that had horrible things visited on us its a safe place.

I was 8 when the abuse started and 20 when it ended. Those years left me with a lot of emotional, mental, and physical problems that I didn't know how to handle. I didn't even know where to start getting help.
I found MS and was immediately drawn to it for the anonymity of the site. I joined after months of being a 'visitor' and reading other men's posts. I related to so many of them.
After joining, I received so much support. All the fear of people not believing me, the fear of isolation, and the fear of being rejected was met with hope, support, and encouragement.
I received so much advice from so many others. I feel included and valued. I never believed before MS, that the hope I feel now was possible.

I have been coming to MaleSurvivor since March of 2019. It has truly been a God-send! The experiences of the thousands of men who have shared the stories over the many years they have been in existence has been so valuable to my Healing Journey. Knowing "I am not the only one" who has experienced my quirky symptoms has made me feel no longer alone! There is a vast wealth of knowledge there that cannot be found anywhere else. Having Chatrooms to discuss how I am feeling or wanting to reach out to other survivors also helps me no longer feel alone.

He served communion once a month in the local Presbyterian Church. He was a childhood playmate of my father's and the assistant scoutmaster in Troop 228. He also sexually molested me from the time I joined boy scouts at age 11 until I turned 15 and 1/2. I kept his filthy secret for more than 40 years my lips sealed by his lies and manipulations. Male Survivor is where I found I was no longer alone, where I learned it was not my fault and I was not a coward for "letting him". I am finally able to post here and to look people in the eye and tell them i am a child victim of a pedophile predator because of Male Survivor. The organization has helped me to move from survivor to thriver.

I joined MaleSurvivor in 2016 when, after 39 years I had a breakdown about sexual trauma I suffered age 16 and other. I was greeted by others who knew what I was going through, and mentioned I take it at my own pace. There is a lot to learn regarding what healing can mean to each of us. I explored therapies, and wanted a chance to get feedback, and MaleSurvivor has been instrumental in helping me. There are a lot of men in need among us at any time, and we may never know that these men are struggling. When we can interact with others who can respond that what we write is valid and resonates with them, the burden can become lightened to work on. That's what I've found at Malesurvivor, and I'm very grateful.

I joined Male Survivor is 2019 and it has changed how I see myself and my past. I am extremely grateful for the support and education Male Survivor has provided me with!

Been a 12-year member of Malesurvivor and finding their website changed the direction of my life. I was struggling so deeply, more than I understood, because I knew nothing different from growing up as a boy sexually abused by an older cousin, and later by an adult. What I learned through reading the discussion forums and the healing circle chats has made an immense improvement to me and for my family.

It's a lifesaver. Their on-line forum and Healing Circle are fantastic resources for male survivors of Sexual Abuse.

Isolation is a major problem for survivors. I've encountered this directly and repeatedly. MaleSurvivor has helped me break out of it.

The men who post in their forums and attend their Healing Circle are wise, sensitive, helpful, eager to support, and committed to their healing purpose. It's a rare safe place for male survivors. I'm very grateful.

They are exploiting my story. 5 Months and they won't take my story off their site after after multiple requests and rejecting me. They won't even communicate, only erasing anything I put out about this.

Malesurvivor reaches out to a group of victims and helps them to resurrect themselves, reconcile with themselves, and renew their zest for life. The organization's workshops for other professionals and their weekends of retreat for survivors are days of hope for the members of the population which they tirelessly serve. I am a survivor of childhood trauma who has benefited so much from this excellent group.

Very empowering experience at the Weekends of Recovery. They provide a unique experience not available through any other organization. I have twice travelled well over 1,000 miles to be able to participate. Having professionals donate their time makes this more accessible to a wider range of incomes.

I attended and received a great benefit from a recent MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery. I highly recommend connecting with MaleSurvivor if you or someone you care about was sexually abused as a child.

I am a 64 year old male survivor working on recovery for 4 years.
Who knew?...I sure didn't.... I thought the incest, rapes, abuse and being pimped were my fault!!! Thanks to MaleSurvivors Weekends of Recovery, (WOR), I discovered they are not my fault and I am not alone. The WORs gave me the opportunity under the guidance of highly skilled therapists in a co-created safe environment to confront the demons and fears I kept secret for over 55 years. i sincerely hope that young men are reading this review and will consider the incredible confidentiality of MaleSurvivor and not wait to come forward for their own freedom. MaleSurvivor is a lifesaver.

I have been in recovery for the past two years going to therapy and engaging in mutual support groups but one of the most dramatic experiences I have had was attending the Male Survivors weekends and participating in the online forums. Male Survivor is an organization that cares and is making changes in the life of people that had no hope or way of coping with the effects of both male childhood and adult rape and abuse.

For so long I was searching for something to connect with, an organization that would not only help me get through this dark stage of my life, but a place to connect and be comfortable to share my story...Male Survivor helped me during my recovery and Im so glad I finally made the decision to go.

The Male Survivor website is the a treasure chest of information, the “Google” per male sexual victimization. It promotes validation and support and prompts survivors to overcome sexual abuse and soul cancer via direction and support with:

● Resources
● Training
● Clarifying Definitions and
●Validation.

The Males Survivor Website appears to be the most esteemed, respected, embraced, referred to, and trusted worldwide provider of its kind.

Male Survivor's goal is somewhat akin to the way Danny Thomas attacked childhood cancer with awareness and hope via the St. Jude’s Children's Hospital;

Except with Male Survivor, the disease and those they attack is evil, darkness, victimization, sexual predators and bullies, power and control dynamics, and soul murder / cancer.

I encourage all sexual abuse survivors to muster the strength courage the explore Male Survivors' plethora of inviting and uplifting resources to start, and sustain their roads to resiliency and happiness.

Extraordinary weekend seminars. Life changing! Professional staff and counselors. Well organized events. A first class operation!

They are amazing! They have helped me through some of the toughest things in my life and I will be eternally grateful!!

So very valuable, a true life saver. Books, life lessons, discussion boards, conferences and healing retreats-so much help-I am so very grateful.

This place was a life saver for me. 6 years ago I was completely isolated, scared, & had no idea where to go. I came across this site shorty after seeking help and got connected with therapists & support groups in my area. I also went on a few weekends of retreat as advertised. Male survivor is truly nothing short of a life save for me. Life has gotten so much better I never could have imagined.

Male Survivor has played an immeasurable role in my healing journey. Male Survivor has provided help, healing, and support. I am forever grateful.

To whom it may concern,

I am writing as a survivor committed to recovery from trauma and abuse. My traumatic past consist of three different painful/horrible experiences; childhood physical and emotional abuse, multiple rapes/sexual abuse, and cancer.

For more then a decade I have been in counseling utilizing a variety of therapy models. During that process I was directed to join groups with a focus on healing and facing the sexual abuse. As such I have been trying lots of different sources. Although I somewhat benefited from them, my experience with Male Survivors was uniquely different and better.

Male Survivors approach is unique and was beneficial via:

-Emphasis on comfort, acceptance/tolerance, and none judgmentalism of the "healing" journey.

-Embracing the past abuse and grow with and from it, instead of hiding from and with it.

-Incorporating a humanistic approach to "healing", unlike any other program with special, dedicated, and committed assistance, (even financial) to ease the difficult and challenging recovery process of sexual abuse.

-Healing and strengthening the abused persona.

-The most understanding, dedicated and professional staff.

While acknowledging and even writing about this part of my life and journey has been challenging as it stired up traumatic haunt's, after my Male Survivor experience I can do just that.

Male Survivors truly stands by its motto " Dare to Dream" for those whose dreams have taken!

I am enormously thankful to Male Survivors and all those involved with running and supporting such a vitally needed organization, for those recovering and living with the challenges of sexual abusive experiences.

it is this organization that came up when I googled help for a victim. I was at the point of planning my demise and it is without doubt that this organization saved my life, I attended one of their weekends of recovery; and I was not alone. There were people that cared and wanted nothing in return. I left with with a renewed positive view and have continued to move forward. I know I am not the only one that feels this way, but they are great!

I have attended numerous conferences and Weekends of Recovery and am always amazed by the power of survivors of sexual assault coming together to find ways to heal. Providing the opportunity for both survivors and professionals to work together to heal and spread the message that healing is 100% possible is the focus of many of our activities.

As a survivor, being able to give back by serving on the board has an honor.

I encourage everyone who has been a victim of sexual assault to find ways to heal in community. if you are a male survivor of sexaul assault, then the community of MaleSurvivor is a great place to find Hope, Healing & Support.

I attended the "Day of Recovery" in Portland. It's obvious these folks care and are really knowledgable regarding Male sexual abuse. I wouldnt hesitate to recommend this organization to any male survivor I come in contact with.
I've also read the blog on malesurvivor.org... lots of support and good information there as well.. I believe the website is affiliated with this organization.

Male Survivor has been instrumental in expanding its scope of support to include males victimized by the commercial sex trade and human trafficking. An integral component to male victimization over the lifespan.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and I attended a Weekend of Recovery session this past May. It was a life changing experience. Not only was I able to connect with other survivors, the program was a tremendous help in moving my recovery forward. I did not even start therapy until age 45 - a few years ago - and the program brought my recovery process to a whole new level

The Weekends of Recovery are amazing. I have attending three. Until I attending my first, I had heard "you are not alone" (as a victim of sexual abuse). The problem was I always felt alone. That is until I met other victims, shared my story, heard their stories. Now I'm not alone.

I can't overstate how important the Weekends of Recovery are to my healing.

I'm also a donor.

I will be forever grateful to the male survivor organization for the impact they had on my life. They are a passionate and effective group addressing an issue that gets very little attention. There was no other organization for me to turn to. Trust and integrity were critical. Everything they do is geared with the survivor in mind. One thing they did for me that I could not do for myself was break through the shame. Shame is hard to hang onto when you are in a room of 60 men ages 18 to 70, all different backgrounds, and suddenly you are not alone. It wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t reading another book. I was listening to other men. It broke down a wall that needed to be smashed. I highly recommend this organization and continue to provide support so that other men might also benefit.

I was looking for a group that would help supplement my private therapy sessions. There were many organizations on line, but the majority of which were religious based, a turnoff for me. I found malesurvivor to be all inclusive, non-judgemental, extremely supportive of me and my needs. To add to the online experience, they offer weekends of recovery, a retreat where you can very quickly start and move forward in your healing process. I am enternally thankful for all the good work they have done and continue to do.

Nowhere else did I find people working so hard to connect victims to each other. I participated in a weekend of work with their therapists (3 out of 4 in the room unpaid but super qualified). Excellent results from just three days!
I had issues (most likely of my own making) with the discussion board they operate 24/7 but one of their tech type guys took care of it through perseverance and with patience toward me. Now working smoothly
They connect profoundly harmed men with each other to start a healing process that is so isolating and shame based if attacked alone. We do together what we cannot do alone.

As an adult male survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Malesurvivor has been an invaluable resource in my ongoing recovery. Their online material, forums, and weekends of recovery have all been tremendously helpful as I seek answers and healing. Thank you for the work you do, shedding light on such a dark topic and societal taboo - the sexual victimization of boys and the resulting tragic implications of how such experiences shape the adults they become. I do not know what I would do without access to such a tremendous organization.

Can't say enough about all of the good things I've experienced resulting from discovering and subsequently attending MaleSurvivor functions. It was through MaleSurvivor I discovered Dept. of Veterans Affairs (VA) has treatment programs for survivors of Military Sexual Trauma (MST) as well as helpful mental health treatment for the resulting PostTraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), for which I am now managing its symptoms. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual trauma, and I have learned how that trauma has affected my adult life. THANK YOU MaleSurvivor.

MS has been instrumental in my recovery. I could not have broken my 35 year silence without their support and Weekends of Recovery.

Male Survivor has made and continues to play a defining role in my recovery from sexual abuse. I have attended three of their weekends of recovery, two days of recovery, attended two of their international conferences, and organized a weekend of events for male survivors in Portland, Oregon presented by Male Survivor. I facilitate o group of ongoing meetings for male survivors and many of the men who attend have participated in one or more of Male Survivor events. They continue to praise Male Survivor for the real world difference Male Survivor makes in their lives.

Male Survivor is so unique in having direct resources for men who have suffered from sexual victimization. From message boards, to Weekends of Recovery they are the only one of its' kind that truly has programs for men. They are continuing to grow so spread the word to people that Male Survivor is out there, and ready to provide Hope, Healing, and Support to men from all over the world.

Male survivor promotes education about men's issues and assists them in getting the help they deserve. They offer many different resources for males who have been through all sorts of traumatic experiences. We need more organizations like this raising awareness for men's issues.

MaleSurvivor is an amazing organization. They run a powerful "Weekend of Recovery" program which helps the vast majority of (all?) male survivors of childhood sexual abuse who participate in the program. They run the largest conference in the world for male survivors, which takes place every two years, and is a great resource for survivors, supporters, therapists and law enforcement officials/ lawyers. They run a great website. They are incredibly committed. I cannot recommend this organization highly enough.

I have been a member of MaleSurvivor since 1995. As a woman, a Weekend of Recovery facilitator, and a survivor, i believe that this organization is most committed, conscious and heart full . It is a privilege to work with the men --and the women --at MaleSurvivor, to watch men form community that is vibrant and lasting, and to see that recovery is absolutely possible.
Mikele Rauch

MaleSurvivor is the prime example of an organization that truly provides a meaningful and useful service to all its members. As a professional, I have worked with the Executive Director in an advocacy capacity and benefitted from membership through conferences and the general education and services MaleSurvivor provides to men who have experienced sexual violence. I always talk about this organization to each client I work with and recommend that they at least visit the website to make sure they know about the organization. I highly recommend MaleSurvivor to both professionals and survivors alike.

I am a male survivor and Co-Chair for the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery program. This program and the overall organizations is providing unprecedented services for male survivors. The lives of thousands of survivor have been changed by the incredible work of this organization. The volunteers who work with the multiple projects sponsored by MaleSurvivor offer the highest quality clinical services and integrity.

I am a survivor who has been fortunate enough to work with MS now for the last 3 yrs. I have found the people to be wonderful. The service that MS provided to me and my wife prior to me coming on the board was invaluable and allowed me to feel comfortable telling my story as a survivor knowing that I would be heard and respected. A great resource for survivors, their friends and family or anyone else who is in this space.

I am a male survivor, a psychologist and addictions counselor, and the Co-Chairperson of the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery. I attribute MaleSurvivor as being one of the major keys of my own recovery, and it is a resource I suggest to every male survivor I work with as a psychologist. Healing occurs best when a survivor is connected to a community of support, and that is what MaleSurvivor does best, whether it is through the Weekends of Recovery program, the moderated chat rooms, the bulletin boards where men can learn they are not alone, the therapist referral lists, or the international conference. The organization and its powerful website has important resources for professionals from many disciplines, for survivors, their partners, allies and advocates. I give the MaleSurvivor conference credit for providing me the most well-rounded, professional training in trauma treatment from the world's most competent and effective psychotherapists. The organization is well-run and administrative costs are well managed as well to convert most donations into active support for the men who need help to learn not only to survive, but also how to thrive.

I have worked for many years with the healing process of men who have experienced abuse. MaleSurvivor is an invaluable, sometimes life-saving resource and support in this area. I am impressed with the depth of their compassion, commitment, and clinical expertise in the services they offer. I highly recommend their supportive online community, and the wealth of resources and services. They change lives for the better!

As a survivor of clergy sexual abuse and someone who lived for years with shame, guilt and isolation I want other survivors to know that this non-profit is a tremendous benefit to the male survivor community. I really don't know where to begin, the extensive book store has many books well worth reading, I have read several on their listing and I found them extremely helpful. The ability to log on to the discussion boards (at first anonymously) made it easy for me to learn what other male survivors were also experiencing, it certainly helped me understand I was no longer alone. The Weekends of Recovery, I attended 2, truly changed my life and helped me release much of the shame and guilt I carried in silence for so many years. Being with men who had the courage and strength to share their own stories of the victimization perpetrated upon them, helped me move forward. The staff was incredibly professional and most caring. I strongly recommend survivors attending some of these weekends. By the way if you talk to their administration staff...Trisha is amazingly helpful and kind.

I'm a psychotherapist who has been working with survivors of childhood sexual abuse for 35 years. MaleSurvivor is an amazing resource for my male clients. The online information and discussion boards help them to move out of their isolation. The Weekends of Recovery offer professionally led retreats for men, providing a safe environment for healing and connecting with other survivors.
Every client I have sent to an MS weekend has returned with renewed energy, hope, and determination. And many of them have received a scholarship from MS in order to attend!

At 70 and finally recognizing and acknowledging my abuse has been difficult. This past WoR was priceless for me, providing meaning, definition, clarity and most importantly, community support as I continue on my healing an understanding of this insideous invasion of my body and of my soul.

I am a richer man.

Bob from Bellefonte, PA

I am a survivor of childhood molestation and was raped by an older man when I was seventeen. I can not tell you how much this site has helped me overcome the feelings of guilt, shame, and anger from what happened to me. I joined it five years ago. Talking to other members about what has happened to us has really been a great help. I have worked with teen boys and young adults for over ten years now who have been molested and I always reccomend this site.

Because I the author of Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims Of Sexual Abuse, and of Honor Betrayed: Sexual Abuse In America's Military, I have had many clients who suffered sexual abuse. I always suggest they go the website as a way to get support and information on recovery from sexual abuse. I frequently suggest to these men that they attend one of the Weekends Of Recovery. Every one that has attended has reported it was a powerful healing experience. When I have present workshops for treatment professionals I always mention the conference as a excellent place to obtain practical training on the topic of sexual abuse treatment.

MaleSurvivor is a first-rate organization. One of the few dedicated to helping men who have been sexually abused. This one actually does something to help, unlike others.

It has offered me connections with others who were abused, and even some lifelong friends. It has an online bulletin board that is heavily utilized.

MaleSurvivor offers weekend retreats that are excellent. They're affordable, in varying locations around the U.S., and at different levels of experience and recovery. Scholarships are available.

The organization is trustworthy and very well run.

As someone who has run other non-profits and served on various boards, I know firsthand that MaleSurvivor is a GREAT Non-Profit.

As an end user, I have a number of problems with the organization/site. I wish I didn't. If you're a volunteer, the most candid, critical reviews are perhaps your best insight. Unlike administrators and staff, end users aren't beholden to the organization, its board or its agendas.

• Similar to what one reviewer posted below, my impression is this organization is about money and marketing. "Nonprofit" almost seems a misnomer. Their site hawks overpriced books, CDs and DVDs via Amazon ads (45 bucks for a paperback? Really?). Their so-called "Weekends of Recovery" are expensive affairs, costing each participant $750-1150, depending on number of roommates (Treating adult men, some with SAD or PTSD, like kids at college or children at summer camp? Really?). A membership "donation" entitles you access to a rarely-used Members Only discussion board.

• Though the site was initially helpful to me, homophobic innuendo (or worse) is standard. Moderators rarely confront it, even when asked...and the gay survivor who complains is the one likely to be censored and even censured. The only MS concession is a token GBT discussion area and token gay board member. Otherwise, religious and political bigotry is well tolerated, especially in chat rooms. If you're a gay or bi survivor, this is potentially an emotionally dangerous, triggering site for you. I'd proceed with caution or avoid the site altogether.

• in 12-step programs an oft-heard litmus for dysfunction is whether a person's words and actions are the same thing. What the Executive Director says and does regarding the homophobia are two totally different things. Nice words. Zero action. He ignores it. Any organization's personality comes from the top down.

• My impression is the ED comes off as a slick salesman with a well-polished pitch to entice you to attend one of his "Weekend$". Further, board members - a perpetually closed circle - seem to be encouraged to sell the weekends. To be forthright, I would not attend, not just because of my MS experience, but because it's marketed in a remarkably similar manner to the sham "Experience Weekend" (which was also facilitated by a PhD and about as close to MLM as a so-called nonprofit can get).

• Ethically questionable for any site requesting money, MS says can demand mental health details for site use - yes, it gets stored on their server - under some circumstances, including name/phone of your therapist if you have one. The good news is that any ethical practitioner would cite being bound by patient confidentiality, refuse any MS request, laugh at their arrogance and suggest MS administrators should seek therapy themselves.

• Requests for account deletion are ignored - ostensibly because of "software limitations" - so MS can parade membership numbers. Their much-touted 12,000 membership count is misleading, if not an outright lie. It's the total number of people, since the site's inception, who have ever had an MS account. It does not reflect attrition. It does not reflect active accounts. Realistic numbers are more likely in the hundreds.

In short, this organization needs a reset, a top-to-bottom housecleaning. It's stale, entrenched and complacent. My personal experience, like some other former members who happened to be gay, is that I felt betrayed, invalidated and re-victimized. Despite being somewhat helpful, at its worst, MS operates, ironically, similarly to those organizations (the RCC, Boy Scouts, etc.) notoriously complicit in childhood sex abuse: obfuscation, dismissiveness, minimizing, two-faced, arrogant, untouchable. Even Gordon Ramsay would walk out.

A solid, ethically-operated alternative I found is 1in6.org. From their site:
"Our words are carefully chosen, because we strive to:
1. Respect every man’s experience and point of view.
2. Avoid any definitions or labels that could drive away any man who could use this site to sort through his own unique experiences and options."

I suffered from intense PTSD from simply being around women. I was very suspicious of kindness, and especially female attention. What few friendships I had were strained. I was barely holding on to my job. I spent the first few hours of each day just lying in bed. A psychology student pointed me towards Male Survivor. Two years later, I'm healing, have my dream job, and even one of those healthy relationship things people talk about. The support, acceptance, and education were life changing.

Bear with me as I explain my connection to MaleSurvivor.org.

I'm a single female and while surfing some offbeat websites with chat functions, a man contacted me who wanted to talk with me. He had a photo up and he was attractive, so I chatted with him online. Over time, we emailed quite a bit, spoke on the telephone and eventually met. But the truth was, although it turned out he was very successful, he was also very erratic in his moods and really didn't like anyone to get too physically close to him. He would make dates then cancel them. This went on for months. He alluded to some childhood sexual abuse, but didn't discuss it in depth.

After about 4 months of this, I REALLY wanted to know what was going on with him, so I started looking for answers. It took me another 4 months to find the website MaleSurvivor.Org, but I'm so glad I did. I went to the discussion forums and read and read and read and read when men had posted about their feelings about their abuse, and the effects on almost every area of their lives. After a bit, I began posting and sending private messages to some of the men, the men who seemed to have the most similar symptoms to the man I was communicating with. There was one man especially, an older gentleman, who had a lot of the same issues who pointed me to about 6 or 7 books to read, and 3 movies, to help me understand. They did help me immensely, and finally, about 12 months after first contacted by my friend, I got a clue. If you haven't been abused, and haven't had a heart to heart talk with anyone who has been, it's impossible to imagine all the problems it causes, just crazy off the wall stuff an unabused person would never think of.

I will say, it was kind of hard to endure some of the remarks from the women in the "Friends and Family" section. They didn't approve of the nature of my communication with this man, and they certainly let me know it. However, when I realized I had a friend with a 12 year old boy inside of him, I couldn't refuse to communicate with the 12 year old. He was lonely and appreciated someone talking with him.

Dealing with an adult who has a child inside him, and enduring the inner conflict this engenders in a man, is no easy task. Takes the patient of Job.

This organization is simply amazing. It's an answer to a prayer, nothing less. When I first started to deal with the things that occurred in my past and their effects on my life as an adult, I felt completely alone, isolated and afraid. Thanks to this outstanding group of people, the turnaround in my life has been nothing short of miraculous. The programs they provide are life-changing, and their discussion boards are far better than anything I ever hoped I could encounter. I can recommend no finer group of people for male sexual abuse survivors, period.

MaleSurvivor started in the early 90's, when I looked for help in the 80's there was none. When I realized how the sexual abuse effected me as an adult MaleSurvivor was there. I have attended three weekends and it has had a positive impact on my life. The first weekend when I walked into a room of other survivors, no words were needed, we all came to understand ourselves and a connection was make. Thank you for all the men who started this org in the beginning

This organization really only offers a discussion boards, which can be dangerous and unhelpful if you aren't in the right "clique." Their website is outdated and unhelpful and recently all they do is ask for money.

Aside from their chat boards and a few "Weekends of Recovery," which receive mixed reviews, they don't seem to do much else.

There's no other organization that addresses men's issues pertaining to sexual abuse. MaleSurvivor is made up of caring facilitators and therapists. I participated in two of their Weekends of Recovery and was touched and awed by the high level of compassion, concern and respect. I can't recommend this organization highly enough! Thank you.

Coming out of a 10 year relationship at the age of 43, I began doing research on what resources were available for men who had been sexually abused. I came across the MaleSurvivor.org website. Seeing the plethora of resources on the site provided me with the information I needed to begin my recovery process.

I was intrigued when I read about the Weekends of Recovery. At my first retreat, I remember thinking: “This is the safest place I’ve ever been”. I was surrounded by other men who could relate to and understand the feelings I had about having been sexually abused. The professional facilitators were unlike many other professionals, they understood — and knew how to respond appropriately to — various aspects of how sexual abuse affects men in particular.

Having attended 5 Weekends of Recovery, I can say that I feel more open and better connected. I have significantly reduced feelings of anger, guilt and shame; and I’ve learned that it is valuable to pay attention to how my body processes my emotions.

It’s been almost 4 years since I found MaleSurvivor. I no longer feel that I need to be anonymous in regard to the fact that I was sexually abuse. I, in fact, have gone public. Being involved with MaleSurvivor has helped me to significantly reduce the negative effects of the abuse in my life, and I know this also holds true for many other men.

For over 3 years, I have been facilitating a peer-to-peer support group for men who have been sexually abused. Doing so has helped to increase my self-worth and ability to connect with others. The group was started over 8 years ago by 3 men who had attended a MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery. Many of our members find us through the “Find a Support Group” section on MaleSurvivor.org.

So, this is one man’s testimony about the MaleSurvivor organization. It is an authentic organization. Did they pay me to write this? In many ways, yes, but not monetarily. They paid me with resources, tools, professionals, a community of men, and a foundation which helps me to excel in my recovery and my personal life.

I don't know where I'd be without this organization - my childhood sexual abuse spanned 10 years, involved multiple abusers and included torture - I never thought anyone would understand, believe or care for me. It was the first place I was able to safely disclose my history, outside of private counseling. The self-mposed silence/secrecy and overwhelming sense of shame was almost too much to bear. On their website I am able to address topics with other survivors in a safe, anonymous environment but I'm able to make connections with other survivors at my discretion. I have made life-long friends from MaleSurvivor.org, particularly through the Weekend of Recovery programs. Every male survivor, whether their abuse was a single event or over decades, should have a place they feel welcome, heard, understood. The therapists at the Weekends of Recovery, the moderators on the website and the fellow members on the website are supportive and undertsanding. I am surviving and actually thriving - thank you MaleSurvivor.org.

MaleSurvivor's programs are not as all-encompassing as they portray them to be considering their mission statement is "overcoming sexual abuse of boys and men." Their Weekends of Recovery program appeared to me to be geared almost exclusively toward male child sexual abuse victims. This program was of very little use to me as a survivor of rape as an adult. The organization is openly hostile toward male adult rape survivors by censoring their thoughts and speech on their discussion boards through private messages, open retaliation, and banning users. The organization has also had problems as recent as 2 years ago with moderators on their discussion boards engaging in inappropriate behavior with underage participants. The leadership of this organization is cliqueish in that the administrators of their discussion boards and executive leadership have rotated through the same group of people with very little outside blood brought in. In short, this nonprofit appears to me to management issues and fails to abide by their mission statement.

I have found a new life in part to MaleSurvivor.org. Through my therapist, i found out about the MS website where I really began to understand what had happened to me as a child. I found a safe haven to read about others who shared in my pain and personal shame. I was not alone. I found others who 'got it' and a place where I didn't have to explain things...these other men understood. Understood a lifetime of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self loathing. Having this organization as a source of information and support has literly saved my life. I've attended three workshops, the MS World Conference in NYC, been in the audience for Oprah's 200, contibuted to a book on healing, and am now thriving all in part because of MaleSurvivor. I am proud to call all these other men I've connected with through MS, my Brothers. This organization and the people who serve in it, is and are trully amazing.

I am a counselor at a rape crisis center. Most of the professional conferences and trainings I have attended focus primarily on helping female victims of sexual violence. When I was contacted by an adult male survivor of extensive childhood sexual abuse, I was not sure how much I could help him. I did know that there was no way I could turn him away. I searched on line for resources to help me understand the different dynamic when working with men. I am extremely thankful for MaleSurvivor.org as a resource. It has helped me help the men I now work with. I always refer male clients to the sight and have only heard positive feedback from those who visit the site. As my counseling career continues, I am struck by how many men disclose abuse and who, sadly, have been suffering in silence for years. MaleSurvivor is safe place where men can learn an important part of healing - they are not alone, they are not responsible for what was done to them, they have nothing to be ashamed of and are worth loving. Keep the conversation going!

I was one of the lucky ones who found Male Survivor in my earlier years (late 20's). In this organization, I was freed from secrecy and shame, and I can almost say today that the abuse was not my fault. Just in the healing and growth I have received to date, I am a completely changed person. I know that I am not alone and I walk with my head held high. I want to thank the MaleSurvivor organization for facing one of the most difficult issues of our times. MaleSurvivor fosters healing for men, and in turn, heals relationship, families, and communities. Thank you to the staff and counselors of MaleSurvivor. Their compansion, courage, and leadership are extraordinary! Truly one of the best gifts of my life.

I found malesurvivor in the midst of the worst crisis of my adult life. At the age of 51 my world (which appeared to most as wonderful) was falling apart. I did not understand what was happening to me, my dreams, the flash backs, panic attacks, dissociation... uggh and thoughts of suicide. It was than that I found malesurvivor. To say that this organization, and the therapists involved, saved my life is not an exaggeration. I have attended the level one and level two weekends of recovery, I attended a weekly support group for two years and I now have had the opportunity to share my story at several university's. I was raped when I was 12 years old and never once told anyone about what had happened to me. Malesurvivor was the only place that gave me the safety and understanding to began to talk and heal from the trauma of my past. Thank you Malesurvivor..

Malesurvivor is the world leader in the area of sexual violence towards men and boys. And sexual abuse of men and boys is statistically one of the largest social issues on the planet. That demonstrates how important Malesurvivor is as an organization. I first learned about Malesurvivor through their incredible webiste, that offered so much resources of healing, support and hope. And it was there I disocovered their Weekend of Recovery Program which I atteneded when it was held in Ontario, Canada. That weekend not only changed my life, it saved my life. It was a pivitol point in my healing journey that continues today. And now as an alumni I continue to recieve support from from Malesurvivor. They are without a doubt the most important not-for-profit , the work that they do is priceless.

I have had the opportunity to attend three weekend workshops provided by malesurvivor and it has been a life changing experience As a boy of eight I was abducted and raped. I did not realize had much this assault affected my life. I have so much gratitude for these men and women that volunteer their time and energy to help men. They provide a safe place for men to come together and heal. The weekends are a time to grow and connect with people

10 stars. MaleSurvivor is a one-of-a-kind organization with the best people imaginable. I've been to 3 Weekends of Recovery with them, and they have changed my life from victim to SURVIVOR.

As a survivor of childhood male sexual abuse, my first days of awareness were filled with terror as memories flooded my being and left me crippled to perform in the outside world. I had blocked out the traumatic events from childhood and they eventually surfaced as an adult. I ran across Male Survivor over a decade ago as I began to understand the realm and depth of what I was experiencing. I attended a number of retreat workshops and learned that I wasn't alone, that there was a brotherhood of affected men and boys who shared similar traumas. Male Survivor provided a safe and therapeutic environment in which I was able to explore those memories and fears without them destroying me, and eventually I was able to grow enough to be able to step back and give back to the community some of the gained wisdom and knowledge. Today, I have returned to work and am thriving doing what I love to do; my childhood dream of being an Electrical Engineer has come to light, and I am learning to coexist with the past and present 'me'. As much as I've grown, I've seen Male Survivor grow as well. They have always provided excellent support, but they grew as a voice and a presence that ended up giving them much needed exposure. The world began to understand that men are significantly affected by childhood sexual assault, and Male Survivor's core Board dug in their heels and focused on holding a strong administrative foundation in order to be there when the world needed them. I'm extremely grateful to Male Survivor for being there for me and showing me first-hand that it's possible to recover and thrive from childhood male sexual abuse.

MaleSurvivor has saved my life. MaleSurvivor has helped me become the person I was meant to be.

When I casually mentioned I was sexually abused as a child, my therapist suggested I look at MaleSurvivor’s website. Unbeknownst to me, my abuse has led a lifetime of personal conflict. Through the website, the Dare to Dream Program, and Weekends of Recovery I have finally been able to, after 30 years of repression, explore and confront my thoughts/feelings of the childhood sex abuse. Without MaleSurvivor my secret would continue to weigh me down, suppress my self-worth, and made view the world in a very negative light. MaleSurvivor is the only reliable place for male sex abuse survivors to find support and resources. MaleSurvivor has helped me recover from innocence lost and to bounce back from the trauma with increased self-confidence, enthusiasm, and self-compassion. We all have personal dragons to slay. MaleSurvivor has been my tool on their journey to recovery.

I have been working through the effects of sexual abuse as a pre-teen for many years and MaleSurvivor has offered consistent support, empathy and compassion even when I have felt I needed to apologize for taking the occasional break. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am that members "get it" no matter what I am revealing in my story or struggling with in terms of my emotions. The shredding of stigma, the encouragement, and the flexibility of writing on a message board or safely chatting with others bring together men from all over the world, with the experience of a wide range of resources. I always sign out of MaleSurvivor feeling much better than when I signed in!

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and I stumbled upon this site by accident. Let me tell you, it was the best accident I have ever had. It offers the help you need when going through something like this. I told my family and nobody knew what to say. Nobody ever knows what to say or do unless they have been through it. This is a place where men of all ages come to help and get help with one common issue. It has been the rock that has kept me together through telling my family and starting my treatment. I honestly do not know if I would have ever had the courage to open up about my abuse if it weren't for MaleSurvivor. They really are amazing. There are not enough places or organizations that are for males dealing with sexual abuse. They make it possible to get help no matter where you live.

When I was taking a criminal justice class in College we had to write about something criminal. I took it upon myself to learn what the long term effects of child sexual abuse were...since I was molested by my step father 22 years before. In preparing for this paper I ran accross a book called Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men. Guilford Press, 1999, 2001. by Dr. Richard Gartner. On the back of the book I saw that he was on the board of MaleSurvivor.org. Being that I have never heard of this organization I googled the name and signed up for a Weekend of Recovery that night. This weekend was in May and it is so difficult to explain how it has effected my life. All these years, I finally was able to meet other men who were abused like me. I was able to talk about my feelings and know that no one there would judge me. When I started a MLM business I have committed that 10% of all my profit will go to MaleSurvivor.org to help other men find their voice.

This organization is literally one of the very few that "get it" in terms of the affects and damage done by sexual abuse and violence against males! Even organizations like RAIIN and PCAR just don't get it like MaleSurvivor does! In my darkest hour, when I was close to taking my own life, their website and programs helped me take the desperately needed steps toward healing and recovery! They continue this effort tirelessly and continue to help others and to raise awareness, even when the current tide in the public eye is want to try and forget about it! Thank you MaleSurvivor for your work!

WHen faced with the reality of my dis-functional life as a result of CSA (Childhood sexual abuse) and in therapy once again. I found Male Survivor on the web and they were having a weekend of recovery in Pennsylvania not far from my home. I attended the weekend and it helped me more than I can express in words. The wounded soul that I was began to really heal.

When I needed help in the Summer of 2008, I quickly discovered that there were almost no real resources for male survivors of sexual violence. While searching online, I was referred to MaleSurvivor and joined the forum. The postings, community spirit and free online resources were of great assistance to me as I began my healing. MaleSurvivor is an incredible resource and I highly recommend it to other male survivors in need of assistance.

What is most important in overcoming sexual abuse is to seek out healing and Malesurvivor is a vital part of the process. I am a survivor of sexual abuse and Malesurvivor has played a large role in that healing.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse & incest. I attended the conference held by Male Survivor (then known as NOMSV) in the fall of 2001 in NYC. Eleven years later, the conference & the panels I attended are still vivid in my mind; the memory of that conference is profoundly healing for me. It was extremely informative, but more, it helped ease my lifelong sense of isolation. The more I can internalize the fact that I am not alone, in either my suffering or my recovery process, the more healing I get. Male Survivor's very existence continually reinforces this truth.

Quite simply, MaleSurvivor is an organization that routinely saves the lives of men who have been abused to the point of wishing for any end to the intense and often life long agony they have suffered at the hands of the most wicked individuals on the face of the earth. As a fellow survivor who has taken advantage of the weekends of recovery offered by MaleSurvivor, I can speak firsthand about the incredible work done by the facilitators at these weekends. All the volunteers are truly committed and competent. The experience was nothing less than life changing. I shudder to think where I might be if not for MaleSurvivor. Instead, where I am today is a really good place. My recovery has been aided tremendously by MaleSurvivor

I'm a survivor of childhood incest. This site/organization made me realize I'm not alone and put me in touch with other survivors, support groups and counselors.

Male Survivor has helped me out and changed my life. I was able to attend a Weekend of Recovery and it helped me in my healing from being molested. All of the Members who ran the weekend were all volunteers and were there on their own time. That is so amazing and I am so grateful that Male Survivor is around. The Website is a big first step towards getting on the path of recovery and healing. Male Survivor gave me the hope that I was looking for.

As a male survivor of sexual abuse from the age of 5 till the age of 10, I have struggled my whole life with the fallout. I never understood my rage, feelings of guilt and shame, and the unhealthy behaviors and attitudes I used to mask my real feelings. Then, at the age of 55 I discovered MaleSurvivor through an appearence by Dr. Howard Fradkin on the Oprah Winfrey Show, along with Tyler Perry and 200 men who were all survivors of abuse as children. I wanted so much to be able to stand up there with them on that stage. I wanted to let people know what I have been through and to be seen and counted for the first time. Then on their website I learned about their Weekend Of Recovery programs. I attended one in Dahlonega Georgia, and spent the weekend with 28 men who were just like me, but from every walk of life, faith, color, orientation, and stage of recovery and relationship status. WOW! The support this organization has given me is overwhelming. And on these weekends the faciitators are the best of the best in their fields. On my first weekend Dr. Fradkin was there and so ill that he was hospitalized at the end of the weekend, but he stuck it out for us, we never even knew he was sick. Dedication personified! I recently returned from my second weekend in Utah. Same feeling, same support, same professionalism, same dedication. I cannot say enough. MaleSurvivor is one of my most important resouces along with my family and my local counselor. A real lifeline.

I am a survivor of incest who became a licensed counselor specializing in the treatment of trauma and PTSD. When I was in my mid forties and dealing with the abuse that I encountered at the hands of my father, I heard of Male Survivor and later attended one of their Weekends of Recovery. It allowed me to deal more easily and effectively with what I was going through. Now, 20 year later, and after having published a memoir describing my recovery from abuse, I am pleased to be in a role where I can guide the efforts of the organization. Through its multipurpose website, its recovery weekends and its activism on behalf of all males who have been victimized, Male Survivor serves a unique population that is under-served.

At my first MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery, I walked into a room with 30 other people I had never met before, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I can't overstate how important the work MaleSurvivor does every day to help survivors and to create a community of healing. I was honored and humbled when the board asked me to take on the duties of Executive Director earlier this year. I think it says quite a bit about the powerful impact MaleSurvivor has on the lives of survivors that someone who was losing a life long battle with depression and suicidal thoughts just a few years ago could find the hope and support I needed to really do the hard work of healing. MaleSurvivor has helped hundred of thousands of male survivors and their loved ones through our website and other affiliated programs since 1995.