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MaleSurvivor: Online Support Forum for Sexually Abused / Assaulted Men

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Nonprofit Overview

Causes: Child Abuse Prevention, Crime & Law, Domestic Violence, Mental Health, Sexual Abuse Prevention, Sexual Assault Services

Mission: At MaleSurvivor.org we are committed to preventing, healing and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy and activism. Visit our website MaleSurvivor.org to access our free discussion forum and chat.

Results: Every day MaleSurvivor provides hope, healing, and support to thousands of people through our programs: In 2o21, MaleSurvivor is celebrating its 26th year since being founded in 1995.

Target demographics: Provide Hope, Healing, and Support to male survivors of sexual trauma and their partners in recovery

Direct beneficiaries per year: At www.MaleSurvivor.org over 100,000 users accessed more than 2 million pages on our website in the past year; more than 120 male survivors who attended a MaleSurvivor organized recovery event; more than 3000 professionals who attended a MaleSurvivor training.

Geographic areas served: USA, Canada, UK, Europe, Asia, Latin America, South America

Programs: Robust & Active Online Discussion Forum & Online Chat Webinars for Survivors and Therapists Weekend of Recovery International conference Discussion board and Chat Room Resource Directories Professional Trainings Community Awareness

Community Stories

110 Stories from Volunteers, Donors & Supporters

2

Client Served

Rating: 5

I'm a survivor of childhood sexual trauma and have been active on Male Survivor for two and a half years. It can be very confusing coming to terms with trauma and almost impossible to share experiences with others. MS offers survivors an opportunity to unburden ourselves with men who understand this territory from first hand experience. When we find the courage to do so we release some of the shame that so often overwhelms us. Healing trauma is difficult work. Sharing our struggles with men prepared to support our healing is a profound relief. I wish I'd found this website twenty plus years ago. It really is saving my life. I've become a sustaining member because I want this website to remain available for others carrying the residue of trauma.

Comments ( 1 )

MaleSurvivor Thank you for your review of MaleSurvivor and your courage to help yourself and others by contributing to the online support forum for sexually abused men. The direct link to the free Support Forum homepage is https://forum.malesurvivor.org/ where we welcome all survivors, supporters, family, and loved ones. Thanks also for being a sustaining member, we are an all-volunteer organization, fully-funded by individual donations like yours to help MaleSurvivor continue to offer the best online support forum and chat for male survivors.

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

For the longest time, I've kept my secret bottled up because I had no place that I felt comfortable enough to goto and discuss the nightmarish he'll I live with every day until now. Being able to chat with others like myself and actually be honest without the feeling of embarrassment or that want to run and hide has been somewhat healing. I feel more comfortable here that I have ever been sneaking to a Therapist directly or within a lgroup of multiple issues. This allows us the ability to focus on that of which has brought us all here without prejudices.

I would recommend this place to any male survivor.

Client Served

Rating: 5

This group provides support with street-cred for so many seeking to find the words, the reasons, and the connection to describe their circumstance. There is a large amount of support in different parts of the organization, and their website really helps me and my family.

Client Served

Rating: 5

Malesurvivor is truly an amazing organization that literally gave me the support I needed to get help for my PTSD related to being an abuse survivor, save my relationships with partner and the few family members that I keep in contact with. After lurking as a guest on the forum, I finally had the nerve to become a registered member of the forum (free) and I've been welcomed by other members of the forum. The greeters made me feel welcomed and accepted for who I am, and I did not feel the need to "conform" to anyone else's expectations. I struggle with PTSD and sexual identity issues, each I had no idea where connected to being abused as a teen and early adult. I was trapped in a really bad situation with no way out. Until now, I had noone to talk to and felt very isolated and alone, even though I am in a relationship. The many members who post their survivor stories and struggles are ones I can relate to and forum moderators are dedicated volunteers who understand what it's like to be a victim of sexual abuse. I learned so much in a short amount of time, overwhelming at first, but when I was ready to examine my behavior, all the false beliefs I held about myself started to come into focus. Finally some real healing. Thank you Malesurvivor. I'm including a photo of me in 1967, an age where I can remember good feelings about myself, and my goal is to get back in touch with that little boy.

1

Professional with expertise in this field

Rating: 5

Hello to all of you. My name is Rene, (which is my middle name). I am the wife of Dr. S (Jacob) W. Who everyone calls Jake. He's the best man that ever come in to my life. He and I both joined the Male Survivor forum after a most traumatic event happened to him very recently. As a mental health physician, I have always recommended this forum to my male patients to find support from other men. However, after his rapist hacked onto our computer and began an account the rapist was banned (banning me and my husband's accounts in the same sweep). While Jake and I found that to be a good security method to protect us from the assailant from his continued stalking, my husband and I agreed to request the administrator Nathan to reinstate our accounts.

I thought it was important to ask the board of directors to attempt to delete the account of the man who violated us and to possibly consider reinstating, so that my husband could have support from men who could relate to what just happened to him. Jake received kind emails and letters from a couple of men from the Male Survivor forum, who did not allow the ban to affect their desires to reach out and help support him. The human equation of helping others helped outside of this forum, while the leaders of the board decided not to reinstate us. They did not communicate anything to us. They did not explain what was happening to me or my husband.

My husband has suffered tremendous pain because of a couple of emails that the board of directors Nathan sent to him. These letters did convey a personal opinion. Jake alerted me that the board of directors was taking a defensive mode to addressing him instead of giving him the help and support he had requested. He had asked him if he could send him the email or contact information of a therapist. But no one from the board would answer his plea for help. This shocked me.

I'm a physician and psychiatrist. Even if my patient came to me with a problematic life, if he pleaded for help I would not turn him away. I would not lock him out. I would not allow myself to be guilty of hurting an individual intentionally. The men of the forum are great people. I had the opportunity to get to know a few of those men. I give them the high praise of this review. The board of directors failed my husband.

The forum does not have a contingency plan to help men (like my husband) who have presently been assaulted. They do not know how to escalate problems such as the one that happened with my husband. It saddens me when a forum, I used to recommend to my own male patients, would force me to second guess. I don't believe I could trust that my other male patients wouldn't come to find similar issues.

As far as race issues, I read what the board of directors stated. Quite frankly, there is absolutely no way that they can prove they are not racist any more than Jake can prove they are. The point is, my husband, as a member of the forum, has the right to comment on the experiences that have happened to him at that forum. both he and I thank the men of that forum who did willingly give some support. We give them high praise and appreciation.

The Board of Director's leaders should have known better than to become personal with my husband, or to attempt to hurt him emotionally. He should've known better than to express any opinion, accusation, negative or unkind words to a man who is vulnerable and who has just suffered sexual assault. He should not be responding under any of my husband's comments here, nor should he be sending him emails. He has only hurt my husband every time he does. I cannot recommend this place as long as someone like this leads this organization.

I appreciate all of you men at the forum. My husband and I could've used your friendship. It has been difficult walking this path with the man of my life after this assault. I did not post this here to provoke anyone to feel they have to defend themselves by spouting a bunch of canned type responses mixed with a defensive line or two. I just offered my humble opinion as to what happened at this forum to my husband. Thank you for your time. RRW MD

1 docjake

Professional with expertise in this field

Rating: 5

Hello. I am Jake, an MD. I recently went through a horrific experience of assault (by 3 men). This happened on MLK day very late at night. My wife, Rene, is an MD and insisted I visit this place in the attempt to talk to another man about what happened to me. I was in shock for a month and a half and finally decided to join this place. Both she and I joined the forum. We revealed ourselves to the men. Some of them actually were warm and welcoming. She was more comfortable than me but both of us depended on the shoulders of other men. In my profession I'm used to speaking publicly and with other people. However, not about assault. My entire world came crashing down around me that day. I haven't been able to find myself since that day.

I was able to connect to only 2 men at the forum who were serious about helping another person. I thank God for them. They have been willing to write emails outside the forum. Anonymity is required for me (because of my profession) to be able to go onto a forum and talk openly about what happened in its entirety. Little did I know that my assailant was nearby my home and able to find me on Twitter, Instagram and MS Forum. I assume it was because of my username, which I tend to use. He had connected via hot spot on me and my wife's Wi-Fi and established an account on the forum and began to cyber stalk me. I assumed they blocked. him. But he was able to open another account and this time he made up a story and lured people into discussions. He even responded under my posts. I know this because he admitted to me on Twitter private message what he had done there at MS Forum.

The forum caught on to him. But it took them an entire month to do that. They allowed this cyber stalker to not only create an account using my IP Address but he was stalking me to the forum. After the forum banned him, my wife contacted me in California (where I had gone for extensive therapies, for over a month. She, in her pregnant condition, was quite emotional and vulnerable when she explained that the MS Forum banned hers and my account along with the hacker's account because of using our IP Address.

In my absence my wife contacted the forum by Contact Us Form. She had asked the Website Manager and Board of Directors Nath.. L. to please help us. She informed him that we were victims of cyber stalking and hacking. She wanted very much to make certain I had a place to go, to talk about these difficult issues. She had been misguided in her thinking to believe that NL, (board of Directors member and website Manager) was serious about helping us.

Instead, NL emailed her a very personal email. He stated that I was inconsistent in my posts and that he would need to review all my accounts,. We had explained to him that I had a stalker and that stalker was also my assailant. I had hoped Nathan would understand and be knowledgeable on how to ban this man's account without infringing on me and my wife's liberty and right to post here at the forum. We did nothing wrong. We were victims of this hacker. However, NL, dealt with me haphazardly, according to my wife, and I totally concur. He didn't communicate with me outside that except to become defensive for himself. Never once did he try to console me or to protect me. He never advised me, nor provided any kind of help after I requested it.

I understood if the may be technical difficulties separating the hacker's account from ours. However, did not appreciate NL calling me "inconsistent". That is the same as calling the victim a liar. Since when does the Board of Directors NL. have the right to call a man a liar or inconsistent? I've had so much happen to me since this assault. I don't need another man to make me feel raped again. I only wanted someone to talk to.

I asked N L Board of Directors Website Manager to please refer a professional to me to talk to. I could not access the forum. The only way I could get NL to talk to me was by using the Contact Us Form. Then he would get back to me and not even read what I would say or ask. What I asked was not even addressed by him. NL never answered any of my questions about what happened to me and my wife's account. Why they could not separate our accounts from the hacker? NL ignored all of my pleas for help. I asked many many times to please send me someone to help me. It says right on the forum that your website will even suggest professional help. The neglect and negligence to offer support after sending personalized letters was irresponsible of the Board of Directors NL.

I had thought initially that it was because I am a black man. I had posted my picture temporarily on the forum. So I know they know I'm black. But I removed that picture because someone told me that was not a good idea. In my mind that's what all this is about. I feel not only violated by a rapist but the man at this forum behind the scenes of the website management is wielding and dealing how he wants to deal with me. He purposefully does not answer my questions, nor help me find answers or to gain any support whatsoever for the sexual assault I've just endured. I've been brutalized and have had my forum of support taken away from me, my hands tied, my mouth gagged. I have been silenced by my rapist and now by Nath.. L Board of Directors website manager. I don't know if it's because of my skin color. But I do know that I'm not being treated like a human being.

It's bad enough that I'm torn apart, ashamed, lost as a man. But now I have bore my soul to the forum, that I cannot even ask for help from anymore. I begged Nath.. to please help me. The man could care less if I live or if I die. I am only a number to him and unwanted person that he wishes would just go away. I don't know how to tell him, many nights I have wished that I could just disappear.

The men are wonderful here. They are not to blame for the lack of concern, connection or care that this board of directors has for a man who is going through a crisis of concern. One of my trigger words is "Shame" because my assailant said it so many times to my face. But I can't bear how much shame I feel now that I cannot even talk about what happened to me, not even to a stranger, a stranger. ~~Jake

My 5 Stars are for the male survivors only. I want to warn all men be careful what you write in public and private. The directors can see it all and will use it against you if they want to create a reason to rid of you. They have a certain demographic quota they want to reach. Money is actually involved with their meet and greet and other special programs. Also, the focus is more on men who were molested as children rather than those assaulted as adults. If you have any painful issues seek help from real professionals. The board of directors members either do not have a real working knowledge of how to help these men when they have questions or they enjoy hurting them painfully as Nath L. Board of Directors Website Manager did to me. I recently suffered the most horrific pain from sexual assault and Nath L. only appears to want to drive that dagger in further. I wish only the best to all survivors. I pity any man who falls victim to Nath Ls harmful emotional abuse and negative tactics. The men of this group are without a doubt worth having the forum for. But these men deserve a board of directors who really care about them, who will connect to them, who will have their backs and who will not go out of their way to hurt them like NL did to me.--Jake



This is the response of the MS Forum to my problem and issue with it.

MaleSurvivor 07/29/2021

MaleSurvivor offers hope, healing and support to all survivors regardless of race, sexual orientation and circumstances. We are 100% volunteer 26-year nonprofit, have a dedicated forum and chat moderator team dedicated to a safe and secure forum. This user was banned after violating the forum guidelines, and was warned prior to the ban for having multiple (3) accounts; we did not create a reason. We also applaud our MaleSurvivor Support Forum members for their unconditional acceptance and support for all survivors.


-------------------
Do you see how they completely dismiss everything I said that has happened. They are accusing me of making multiple accounts. My wife and I both had an account. But my assailant also created an account, violating and using my IP Address. Now the only reason I said this had anything to possibly have to do with my skin color was because I noticed a different response to me when I posted my photo. Someone said to me that they may have reacted to that. Also, Nath..L(who wrote the above response and still defending himself) almost as if he wants to interject that he is blameless for tying my hands, gagging me, silencing me. No, the man did not want to help me. Did not want me there. He never once tried to help me or offer support. Not once! I can't believe that a man would go so much out of his way to punish a man who just was raped and blame him for something he had no control over. I am a victim and a survivor. I am not guilty of having more than me and my wife's account. He has never told me why I am not allowed to get help, get support. He has never volunteered to offer any alternative. He is a cold man. He will not reach out to help me, when I have asked him for help. It has created a despair where there should be none. I have never had a man try so hard to silence me for telling the public of how I was assaulted and how my assailant not only violated my IP Address to get close to me and stalk me onto the forum, but the leader of a group abuse me for being a victim of that person's hacking. This abuse this Board of Directors has caused me is deep. I can't even get passed the bitterness of this pain he's caused me so that I can effectively deal with the assault!


I am the user that Nathan accuses of making multiple accounts. I have spoke the truth about how many accounts I have with my wife. I have also explained to him that the man who raped me stalked me onto the forum using my IP address. He's choosing, folks, not to believe me. He chooses not to help me. He chooses to not write me and verbally offer some kind of support. He chose to continue doing this. This place is for reviews. And I have truthfully offered my review. The men here, are absolutely amazing. I have made some friends and even receive correspondence from them on a weekly basis. My 5 stars is for them. The harsh part of my review is for the haphazard handling of my case. The truth they never addressed my cased. They punished me and my wife because of what a hacker accomplished on my IP address. The leadership of this forum never ever warned me that someone was attempting to violate my account. No one sent me a message about the violations against me. No one offered support for me after my account was banned. Nathan did answer 2 of my emails. One email was to say that he would not be revisiting the possible reinstatement of me and my wife's accounts. The other was to defend himself. However, he never should have defended himself when he was guilty of tying my hands, gagging me and silencing me.

Nath..La, I don't understand your issue with me personally. The fact is, you got personal with my wife (by email), in reference to me, while I was away in California. This all happened in my absence sir. You chose to not help me when I asked you, specifically, for help. You're no better than the goddamned rapist who raped me. No better!~~Jake

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 07/29/2021

MaleSurvivor offers hope, healing and support to all survivors regardless of race, sexual orientation and circumstances. We are 100% volunteer 26-year nonprofit, have a dedicated forum and chat moderator team dedicated to a safe and secure forum. This user was banned after violating the forum guidelines, and was warned prior to the ban for having multiple (3) accounts; we did not create a reason. We also applaud our MaleSurvivor Support Forum members for their unconditional acceptance and support for all survivors.

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

This place helped me through the hardest period of my life. I don't know what I would have done without this resource. Reading suggestions and encouragement from the members really put me on a good path.

Client Served

Rating: 5

When you've been sexually abused by a pedophile, it creates issues and experiences that, in recovery, are very difficult for non-abuse-survivors to understand. Even 40 years after the abuse ended (as in my case), you still respond to stress and certain circumstances that are just not relatable to others who have not been through the same mess.

Most of us survivors have learned through years of hard experience that we should not share our struggles with others. We simply aren't going to get an understanding response, even from people who care, because they cannot (fortunately for them) grasp the effects of having been raped as a child.

Malesurvivor provides a place where we can share our challenges with others who will understand. I first arrived there during one of those periods where I was close to shutting down because of the flashback of memories and the overwhelming sadness that was flooding my head. I am always grateful that malesurvivor forums exist as a safe place for me to share and find fellowship and a sympathetic ear. I hope one day to take advantage of some of their other offerings, as well. But for now it helps me tremendously in managing those rough days.

Dan

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

I was sexually abused from age 2, and later on, trafficked. It took me 17 years to free myself. Afterwards, I was, and at times still am, a wreck.
I've been in a mental hospital on numerous occasions, and suffer many physical injuries as well. A constant reminder of my past.

I have a therapist, but I missed the interaction with men who have been through the same ordeal. That's how I found MaleSurvivor.
I couldn't believe that there were so many men with the same feelings, pains, fears and hopes as I had. I cried and cried before I registered to be able to become part of the community.

I haven't regretted it for a second. I am so grateful for fellow survivors who had the strength to create this helpful website and wonderful forum.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 06/22/2021

Congratulations on your commitment to healing from sexual abuse and for sharing how MaleSurvivor's free online support forum and chat have helped you.

Client Served

Rating: 5

I am so grateful to have found Malesurvivor.org in 2009 when I was struggling so deeply with PTSD caused by being sexually abused. I had been in general therapy but the therapist did not have specific training in working with sexually abused men. When I found the online forum and interacted with other survivors in the support forum or chat, it was earth shaking in so many ways to learn that what I was experiencing was largely a result of the abuse. I've posted this photo of me at age 5 or 6, before the first abuse was perpetrated against me. I note the gentle smile on my face, and its hard to remember back to feeling that way. I thank all the other survivors who contributed to the 80,000 topics included in the online forum. Its really true: You are Not Alone.

Previous Stories
1

Client Served

Rating: 5

Been a 12-year member of Malesurvivor and finding their website changed the direction of my life. I was struggling so deeply, more than I understood, because I knew nothing different from growing up as a boy sexually abused by an older cousin, and later by an adult. What I learned through reading the discussion forums and the healing circle chats has made an immense improvement to me and for my family.

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

My ex-husband is a male survivor. Sadly he let it take over his life. Our divorce was so traumatic for me. I turned to the Male survivor forum for insight and guidance. The discussions were so helpful with not only understanding him and his thought processes but understanding that I didn’t do anything wrong and letting go was the best thing I could do for both of us. I cherish those conversations and would recommend Male Survivor not only to survivors but to anyone who is involved with a male survivor. I only wish it had helped him as much as it helped me.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 02/18/2021

Thank you JDP. MaleSurvivor's online Support Forum has a "Friends and Family" category specifically for you and others trying to support an abuse survivor. The direct link is: https://forum.malesurvivor.org/forums/family-and-friends.17/

Donor

Rating: 5

Very helpful in a time of need. Great resource for men who have experienced sexual abuse and are trying to come to terms with their experiences and the fallout, as well as their families and friends.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 02/18/2021

Thank you @dmalakoff for your review, your support, and your generous donation to MaleSurvivor. We have some exciting developments coming in 2021. Your support will help us continue our mission.

1

General Member of the Public

Rating: 1

I was a member here for a short time. I was abused by men from 10 to 18 and it continues into adulthood. I don't like how the moderators are so heavy handed as soon as you say one negative thing about gay predators, they act like we must accept these people and heaven forbid you say the least bit negative thing about the gay community. They just can't wait to suspend you and throw you out. Glad I didn't pay as a supporting member. I was a gay man most of my adult life and never had issue when someone had the opinion what I was doing sexually with men was wrong but man the moderators get butt hurt and their feeling stepped on when you criticize the gay community. Locked out of my account and unable to go back and remove my story from the site. I would not give this site one thin dime as the people who were abused by gay men have the right to criticize the men that did this. Life would have been great had I never met a gay manipulator at a young age. Your moderator team sucks.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 04/08/2021

MaleSurvivor aims to provide a safe and supportive online community for men sexually abused. Sadly, this individual was warned for violating several discrimination policies, and banned after continued violations. We welcome and support all survivors, and those who love them, regardless of gender or orientation. But we will not tolerate hate.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

I am a survivor of childhood sex abuse beginning at age 5 until age 7. It was in the late fifties when something like that was not on too many peoples' radar. Certainly not mine. I come to MaleSurvivor for the comraderie and the understanding I need. I have an great therapist and my family tries to be as understanding as possible should I bring any of it up to them (wife of 38 years and 3 great adult children). MaleSurvivor is my go-to nearly daily for the support, the I've-been-there-too compassion and wisdom that I don't receive anywhere else. It has been a lifeline. For nearly 50 years I never told anyone - no one. My wife had no idea (but she thought there as something ). After summoning up the courage to make that first call and begin my therapy sessions I began to see that I'm not so alone. That's when my therapist told me about MaleSuvivor. I looked into it and the rest is history, so to speak. I am not alone. It wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong. I need to hear that daily and that's why MaleSurvivor is so important.

1 Tom W.3

Client Served

Rating: 5

Places like this are a miracle to me. It has really helped with my healing journey. It is professional and anonymous, and so many topics come up that resonate deeply. There are some very good men on here. Highly recommend.
The photo is me the year the abuse happened.

Volunteer

Rating: 5

my therapist steered me to M/S but being who i am it took me a couple of months to look into it , im in my 60's and was never in a chat room but i went in to see how it worked and right away i felt at home the guys i met and chatted with overall were a nice crowd and i liked being there , plus the healing circle came to be super important to me i tried to attend both nights a week it was held, i made some good friends in chat which kinda surprised me even met one of the guys for dinner in NYC had a real nice time, all in all M/S in a sense saved me from the madness that had over taken my life at the time , im still in chat at least 4 nights a week and volunteer as a greeter to help out and donate $ when i can , i feel like a part of a community here along with others like me that had horrible things visited on us its a safe place.

Client Served

Rating: 5

I was 8 when the abuse started and 20 when it ended. Those years left me with a lot of emotional, mental, and physical problems that I didn't know how to handle. I didn't even know where to start getting help.
I found MS and was immediately drawn to it for the anonymity of the site. I joined after months of being a 'visitor' and reading other men's posts. I related to so many of them.
After joining, I received so much support. All the fear of people not believing me, the fear of isolation, and the fear of being rejected was met with hope, support, and encouragement.
I received so much advice from so many others. I feel included and valued. I never believed before MS, that the hope I feel now was possible.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

I joined MS in the summer of 2015. I had already been struggling really badly for about 6 months with the sudden revelations of my childhood sexual abuse, clerical childhood sexual abuse. So much confusion. So much shame and guilt. Fear beyond comprehension. There was nowhere to go, no one I could really turn to for help. I was basically paralyzed. This was far from the first time that I'd been in a difficult situation and needed to "fend for myself." But I'd always been able to get through somehow. My faith saved me more times than I can count. God has always been by my side. And yet, with this enormous burden, it felt like I needed something more. There's a lot of literature about sexual abuse. While the principles still basically all apply, the majority of what's available is geared to women. There's nothing very enticing or helpful about that when one of the key components of male CSA (childhood sexual abuse) revolves around questions of and uncertainty about masculinity.

Finding MaleSurvivor was a lifesaver for me. It is a warm and welcoming community. It is an incredible resource of volunteers. Those of us there know what it's like to be confronted by such a horror. Those of there know just how difficult and lonely it is. As they told me, and I now spread the word, to those of you who have endured the horror of CSA: YOU ARE NOT ALONE, help is available, it is free, it is freely given by those who know it, by those who care and are ready to take you in.

3

Client Served

Rating: 5

For decades I thought I as alone in my childhood sexual assault (CSA). One night, and decades of stuffing my abuse away, panic attacks, flashbacks, relationship issues... I wanted to end my life.

Calling a crisis line, I was directed to RAINN, which then got me CSA specific help in my state. It was also recommended I check out MaleSurvivor as additional online support. My journey to survive my abuse began!

The words “You’re not alone” Had such weight behind them when I first signed on to MaleSurvivor. I was in this to save my life! The members from the welcoming volunteers, to other survivors was overwhelming and welcome.

Coupled with Therapy, MaleSurvivor offers as a sounding board for the things I’m working through. There have been dispirited times when I just feel alone in my journey, and simply need to talk with someone. Having a therapist is highly recommended when engaging at MaleSurvivor. I’ve learned from MaleSurvivor and Therapy that - I have a voice. I am strong. I am not alone. It wasn’t my fault. Those words sound cliche, but there is real weight and validation behind them, because I’m here to share this with you.

I would recommend MaleSurvivor to anyone going through therapy and needing a community behind them - because they’re not alone.

7

Client Served

Rating: 5

That little boy was 3 years old when the abuse began.
By the time he was 9 years old there had been 5 male abusers.

I'll not get into my personal story but let me assure you my abuse was nothing compared to the horror stories you will find in MS.
(I'm not supposed to compare ... but I was never hurt)
Read some of them ... and try to sleep at night.

I joined MS on the 30th of October in 2012.

Circumstances in my life at the time were dire ... if I had not found MS I would not be here writing this review.
Subsequent periods of my life since then have also been difficult.
I am Bipolar and severely diabetic and isolate myself and without MS I don't think I could survive.
I am here almost every day.
I'm here for me ... and I'm here for them.
That's what it's all about.

The site itself is a lifeline ... but it's the men that make MS what it is.

We gather here in safety ... in camaraderie ... we cry ... we laugh ... we live.
We are free to share of ourselves without the kind of fear the world still imposes on male survivors of sexual abuse.
We are still not as well understood as female victims.
Our circumstances have unique aspects and even in the professional medical field we still run into challenges not faced by women.
Here ... we can just be who we are ... and not just what we are.

I have a Therapist and access to a Psychiatrist if I need one and an MD who is incredibly caring and supportive.
My medicinal needs are well managed.
All of this is what I've been blessed with for 30 years.

I live in a city ... and a country ... where that's possible.
Other men are not so lucky.
A large number of them live in areas of the world ... domestically and internationally ...
where there is nothing!

They have nowhere to turn ...
nowhere to go ...
nowhere to run ...
no hope.

MS is all they have.

Sincerely ...

Shawn











5

Volunteer

Rating: 5

I have been coming to MaleSurvivor since March of 2019. It has truly been a God-send! The experiences of the thousands of men who have shared the stories over the many years they have been in existence has been so valuable to my Healing Journey. Knowing "I am not the only one" who has experienced my quirky symptoms has made me feel no longer alone! There is a vast wealth of knowledge there that cannot be found anywhere else. Having Chatrooms to discuss how I am feeling or wanting to reach out to other survivors also helps me no longer feel alone.

3

Volunteer

Rating: 5

He served communion once a month in the local Presbyterian Church. He was a childhood playmate of my father's and the assistant scoutmaster in Troop 228. He also sexually molested me from the time I joined boy scouts at age 11 until I turned 15 and 1/2. I kept his filthy secret for more than 40 years my lips sealed by his lies and manipulations. Male Survivor is where I found I was no longer alone, where I learned it was not my fault and I was not a coward for "letting him". I am finally able to post here and to look people in the eye and tell them i am a child victim of a pedophile predator because of Male Survivor. The organization has helped me to move from survivor to thriver.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 03/18/2020

Thank you for sharing your very personal and moving story. We are so grateful for you and your support of MaleSurvivor.

4

Volunteer

Rating: 5

I joined MaleSurvivor in 2005 after realizing that the abuse I suffered as a child was getting in the way of my mental health. I felt hopeless and struggled to deal with the emotions I had buried for years. The community at MaleSurvivor let me know I wasn't alone, and served as a support as I worked through the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, and helped give me the courage to leave a bad relationship behind.

I drifted away from the site as my mental health improved, and entered into a healthy relationship that lasted eight years until my partner passed away. With their passing, all the old emotions and trauma resurfaced and needs to be dealt with. MaleSurvivor was my first stop for support as I searched for a counselor.

I don't know where I would be without the support MaleSurvivor supplies. As a way to pay it forward, I volunteer with MaleSurvivor so others might find the support I found.

1 Writer

Volunteer

Rating: 5

I joined MaleSurvivor in 2016 when, after 39 years I had a breakdown about sexual trauma I suffered age 16 and other. I was greeted by others who knew what I was going through, and mentioned I take it at my own pace. There is a lot to learn regarding what healing can mean to each of us. I explored therapies, and wanted a chance to get feedback, and MaleSurvivor has been instrumental in helping me. There are a lot of men in need among us at any time, and we may never know that these men are struggling. When we can interact with others who can respond that what we write is valid and resonates with them, the burden can become lightened to work on. That's what I've found at Malesurvivor, and I'm very grateful.

Previous Stories

Client Served

Rating: 5

I joined when the trauma I had repressed for 39 years woke in me. The years of misunderstanding myself has become better since I joined MS. There are many common issues shared on the forum. MS forum is a place to focus on personal growth, and giving support to others.

2

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

George-Member since 2001 . Malesurvivor is an excellent recourse for male survivors of child sexual abuse & adult sexual assault and for their spouses and loved ones. There is decades worth of discussion forum posts with great insight in healing for the male survivor. You can get as involved as you want or not, it's up to you. They also offer other educational info and on-sight functions too.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

I joined Male Survivor is 2019 and it has changed how I see myself and my past. I am extremely grateful for the support and education Male Survivor has provided me with!

Client Served

Rating: 5

It's a lifesaver. Their on-line forum and Healing Circle are fantastic resources for male survivors of Sexual Abuse.

Isolation is a major problem for survivors. I've encountered this directly and repeatedly. MaleSurvivor has helped me break out of it.

The men who post in their forums and attend their Healing Circle are wise, sensitive, helpful, eager to support, and committed to their healing purpose. It's a rare safe place for male survivors. I'm very grateful.

4 Weyeso D.

Client Served

Rating: 1

They are exploiting my story. 5 Months and they won't take my story off their site after after multiple requests and rejecting me. They won't even communicate, only erasing anything I put out about this.

Comments ( 1 )

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MaleSurvivor 03/16/2020

I want to correct this for you. Please email me at secretary@malesurvivor.org and provide details so I can correct this immediately.

4

Client Served

Rating: 5

Malesurvivor reaches out to a group of victims and helps them to resurrect themselves, reconcile with themselves, and renew their zest for life. The organization's workshops for other professionals and their weekends of retreat for survivors are days of hope for the members of the population which they tirelessly serve. I am a survivor of childhood trauma who has benefited so much from this excellent group.

3 Bruce42

Client Served

Rating: 5

Very empowering experience at the Weekends of Recovery. They provide a unique experience not available through any other organization. I have twice travelled well over 1,000 miles to be able to participate. Having professionals donate their time makes this more accessible to a wider range of incomes.

2

Client Served

Rating: 5

I attended and received a great benefit from a recent MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery. I highly recommend connecting with MaleSurvivor if you or someone you care about was sexually abused as a child.

4

Client Served

Rating: 5

I am a 64 year old male survivor working on recovery for 4 years.
Who knew?...I sure didn't.... I thought the incest, rapes, abuse and being pimped were my fault!!! Thanks to MaleSurvivors Weekends of Recovery, (WOR), I discovered they are not my fault and I am not alone. The WORs gave me the opportunity under the guidance of highly skilled therapists in a co-created safe environment to confront the demons and fears I kept secret for over 55 years. i sincerely hope that young men are reading this review and will consider the incredible confidentiality of MaleSurvivor and not wait to come forward for their own freedom. MaleSurvivor is a lifesaver.

3

Client Served

Rating: 5

I have been in recovery for the past two years going to therapy and engaging in mutual support groups but one of the most dramatic experiences I have had was attending the Male Survivors weekends and participating in the online forums. Male Survivor is an organization that cares and is making changes in the life of people that had no hope or way of coping with the effects of both male childhood and adult rape and abuse.

4

Client Served

Rating: 5

For so long I was searching for something to connect with, an organization that would not only help me get through this dark stage of my life, but a place to connect and be comfortable to share my story...Male Survivor helped me during my recovery and Im so glad I finally made the decision to go.

3

Client Served

Rating: 5

The Male Survivor website is the a treasure chest of information, the “Google” per male sexual victimization. It promotes validation and support and prompts survivors to overcome sexual abuse and soul cancer via direction and support with:

● Resources
● Training
● Clarifying Definitions and
●Validation.

The Males Survivor Website appears to be the most esteemed, respected, embraced, referred to, and trusted worldwide provider of its kind.

Male Survivor's goal is somewhat akin to the way Danny Thomas attacked childhood cancer with awareness and hope via the St. Jude’s Children's Hospital;

Except with Male Survivor, the disease and those they attack is evil, darkness, victimization, sexual predators and bullies, power and control dynamics, and soul murder / cancer.

I encourage all sexual abuse survivors to muster the strength courage the explore Male Survivors' plethora of inviting and uplifting resources to start, and sustain their roads to resiliency and happiness.

2

Client Served

Rating: 5

Extraordinary weekend seminars. Life changing! Professional staff and counselors. Well organized events. A first class operation!

2

Client Served

Rating: 5

They are amazing! They have helped me through some of the toughest things in my life and I will be eternally grateful!!

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

So very valuable, a true life saver. Books, life lessons, discussion boards, conferences and healing retreats-so much help-I am so very grateful.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

This place was a life saver for me. 6 years ago I was completely isolated, scared, & had no idea where to go. I came across this site shorty after seeking help and got connected with therapists & support groups in my area. I also went on a few weekends of retreat as advertised. Male survivor is truly nothing short of a life save for me. Life has gotten so much better I never could have imagined.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

Male Survivor has played an immeasurable role in my healing journey. Male Survivor has provided help, healing, and support. I am forever grateful.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

To whom it may concern,

I am writing as a survivor committed to recovery from trauma and abuse. My traumatic past consist of three different painful/horrible experiences; childhood physical and emotional abuse, multiple rapes/sexual abuse, and cancer.

For more then a decade I have been in counseling utilizing a variety of therapy models. During that process I was directed to join groups with a focus on healing and facing the sexual abuse. As such I have been trying lots of different sources. Although I somewhat benefited from them, my experience with Male Survivors was uniquely different and better.

Male Survivors approach is unique and was beneficial via:

-Emphasis on comfort, acceptance/tolerance, and none judgmentalism of the "healing" journey.

-Embracing the past abuse and grow with and from it, instead of hiding from and with it.

-Incorporating a humanistic approach to "healing", unlike any other program with special, dedicated, and committed assistance, (even financial) to ease the difficult and challenging recovery process of sexual abuse.

-Healing and strengthening the abused persona.

-The most understanding, dedicated and professional staff.

While acknowledging and even writing about this part of my life and journey has been challenging as it stired up traumatic haunt's, after my Male Survivor experience I can do just that.

Male Survivors truly stands by its motto " Dare to Dream" for those whose dreams have taken!

I am enormously thankful to Male Survivors and all those involved with running and supporting such a vitally needed organization, for those recovering and living with the challenges of sexual abusive experiences.



2

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

it is this organization that came up when I googled help for a victim. I was at the point of planning my demise and it is without doubt that this organization saved my life, I attended one of their weekends of recovery; and I was not alone. There were people that cared and wanted nothing in return. I left with with a renewed positive view and have continued to move forward. I know I am not the only one that feels this way, but they are great!

Previous Stories
3

Client Served

Rating: 5

I kept my mouth shut for many years in fear, and tried a couple times to take my own life for what was done to me; but one day I went on the web and just put malesurvivor in google. What I found truly saved my life. I went to one of their weekend recoveries and was scared at first; but imagine being in a room with people who cared and wanted to hear, and wanted to listen. They did all that and more. I had something that someone said that I got triggered. For the first time in my life, I had someone stand by me and never left my side for over a hour. I felt like I mattered. I later went to one of their advanced weekend in Utah and these people rememebered my name and gave me a hug and meant it. Again I was with my brothers and regardless of race, religion, sexual preference, anything; everyone just exhaled and breathed. I remember what I said at the end of the first meeting. " I came with a brick wall and some of those bricks fell, but I feel great" I was asked to be part of Oprah's 200 men show in November 2010. I couldn't have had the courage to go if it wasn't for malesurvivior. When I was there, for the first time in 50 years I felt me feet planted on the ground, and that I mattered, and no one was going to tell I didn't matter. Oh, and by the way those feelings of doom; they are gone. I FEEL GOOD!

2 Ken F.

Board Member

Rating: 5

I have attended numerous conferences and Weekends of Recovery and am always amazed by the power of survivors of sexual assault coming together to find ways to heal. Providing the opportunity for both survivors and professionals to work together to heal and spread the message that healing is 100% possible is the focus of many of our activities.

As a survivor, being able to give back by serving on the board has an honor.

I encourage everyone who has been a victim of sexual assault to find ways to heal in community. if you are a male survivor of sexaul assault, then the community of MaleSurvivor is a great place to find Hope, Healing & Support.

Previous Stories
2

Board Member

Rating: 5

Working on MaleSurvivor's board, I continue to be impressed by the volunteers that support our organization. Professionals from the therapeutic community, survivors of sexual assault, and those who love the men who have been sexually assaulted continue to find ways to encourage healing.

Our 2012 conference brought together all parts of our community to learn new ways to more effectively heal and share our message of Hope, healing and support.

2013 is filled with Weekends of Recovery, more use of the website's discussion board and many opportunities to increase awareness at conferences and Dare to Dream local community events.

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Client Served

Rating: 5

I attended the "Day of Recovery" in Portland. It's obvious these folks care and are really knowledgable regarding Male sexual abuse. I wouldnt hesitate to recommend this organization to any male survivor I come in contact with.
I've also read the blog on malesurvivor.org... lots of support and good information there as well.. I believe the website is affiliated with this organization.

Board Member

Rating: 5

Male Survivor has been instrumental in expanding its scope of support to include males victimized by the commercial sex trade and human trafficking. An integral component to male victimization over the lifespan.

Client Served

Rating: 5

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and I attended a Weekend of Recovery session this past May. It was a life changing experience. Not only was I able to connect with other survivors, the program was a tremendous help in moving my recovery forward. I did not even start therapy until age 45 - a few years ago - and the program brought my recovery process to a whole new level

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

The Weekends of Recovery are amazing. I have attending three. Until I attending my first, I had heard "you are not alone" (as a victim of sexual abuse). The problem was I always felt alone. That is until I met other victims, shared my story, heard their stories. Now I'm not alone.

I can't overstate how important the Weekends of Recovery are to my healing.

I'm also a donor.

Client Served

Rating: 5

I will be forever grateful to the male survivor organization for the impact they had on my life. They are a passionate and effective group addressing an issue that gets very little attention. There was no other organization for me to turn to. Trust and integrity were critical. Everything they do is geared with the survivor in mind. One thing they did for me that I could not do for myself was break through the shame. Shame is hard to hang onto when you are in a room of 60 men ages 18 to 70, all different backgrounds, and suddenly you are not alone. It wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t reading another book. I was listening to other men. It broke down a wall that needed to be smashed. I highly recommend this organization and continue to provide support so that other men might also benefit.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

I was looking for a group that would help supplement my private therapy sessions. There were many organizations on line, but the majority of which were religious based, a turnoff for me. I found malesurvivor to be all inclusive, non-judgemental, extremely supportive of me and my needs. To add to the online experience, they offer weekends of recovery, a retreat where you can very quickly start and move forward in your healing process. I am enternally thankful for all the good work they have done and continue to do.

1 John358

Client Served

Rating: 5

Nowhere else did I find people working so hard to connect victims to each other. I participated in a weekend of work with their therapists (3 out of 4 in the room unpaid but super qualified). Excellent results from just three days!
I had issues (most likely of my own making) with the discussion board they operate 24/7 but one of their tech type guys took care of it through perseverance and with patience toward me. Now working smoothly
They connect profoundly harmed men with each other to start a healing process that is so isolating and shame based if attacked alone. We do together what we cannot do alone.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

As an adult male survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Malesurvivor has been an invaluable resource in my ongoing recovery. Their online material, forums, and weekends of recovery have all been tremendously helpful as I seek answers and healing. Thank you for the work you do, shedding light on such a dark topic and societal taboo - the sexual victimization of boys and the resulting tragic implications of how such experiences shape the adults they become. I do not know what I would do without access to such a tremendous organization.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

Can't say enough about all of the good things I've experienced resulting from discovering and subsequently attending MaleSurvivor functions. It was through MaleSurvivor I discovered Dept. of Veterans Affairs (VA) has treatment programs for survivors of Military Sexual Trauma (MST) as well as helpful mental health treatment for the resulting PostTraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), for which I am now managing its symptoms. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual trauma, and I have learned how that trauma has affected my adult life. THANK YOU MaleSurvivor.

1

Client Served

Rating: 5

MS has been instrumental in my recovery. I could not have broken my 35 year silence without their support and Weekends of Recovery.

1 Das C.

Client Served

Rating: 5

Male Survivor has made and continues to play a defining role in my recovery from sexual abuse. I have attended three of their weekends of recovery, two days of recovery, attended two of their international conferences, and organized a weekend of events for male survivors in Portland, Oregon presented by Male Survivor. I facilitate o group of ongoing meetings for male survivors and many of the men who attend have participated in one or more of Male Survivor events. They continue to praise Male Survivor for the real world difference Male Survivor makes in their lives.

1 Omar B.

Board Member

Rating: 5

Male Survivor is so unique in having direct resources for men who have suffered from sexual victimization. From message boards, to Weekends of Recovery they are the only one of its' kind that truly has programs for men. They are continuing to grow so spread the word to people that Male Survivor is out there, and ready to provide Hope, Healing, and Support to men from all over the world.

1

General Member of the Public

Rating: 5

Male survivor promotes education about men's issues and assists them in getting the help they deserve. They offer many different resources for males who have been through all sorts of traumatic experiences. We need more organizations like this raising awareness for men's issues.

2 Niall L.

Client Served

Rating: 5

MaleSurvivor is an amazing organization. They run a powerful "Weekend of Recovery" program which helps the vast majority of (all?) male survivors of childhood sexual abuse who participate in the program. They run the largest conference in the world for male survivors, which takes place every two years, and is a great resource for survivors, supporters, therapists and law enforcement officials/ lawyers. They run a great website. They are incredibly committed. I cannot recommend this organization highly enough.

4

Volunteer

Rating: 5

I have been a member of MaleSurvivor since 1995. As a woman, a Weekend of Recovery facilitator, and a survivor, i believe that this organization is most committed, conscious and heart full . It is a privilege to work with the men --and the women --at MaleSurvivor, to watch men form community that is vibrant and lasting, and to see that recovery is absolutely possible.
Mikele Rauch

2 Chrisula T.

Professional with expertise in this field

Rating: 5

MaleSurvivor is the prime example of an organization that truly provides a meaningful and useful service to all its members. As a professional, I have worked with the Executive Director in an advocacy capacity and benefitted from membership through conferences and the general education and services MaleSurvivor provides to men who have experienced sexual violence. I always talk about this organization to each client I work with and recommend that they at least visit the website to make sure they know about the organization. I highly recommend MaleSurvivor to both professionals and survivors alike.

4

Professional with expertise in this field

Rating: 5

I am a male survivor and Co-Chair for the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery program. This program and the overall organizations is providing unprecedented services for male survivors. The lives of thousands of survivor have been changed by the incredible work of this organization. The volunteers who work with the multiple projects sponsored by MaleSurvivor offer the highest quality clinical services and integrity.

1

Board Member

Rating: 5

I am a survivor who has been fortunate enough to work with MS now for the last 3 yrs. I have found the people to be wonderful. The service that MS provided to me and my wife prior to me coming on the board was invaluable and allowed me to feel comfortable telling my story as a survivor knowing that I would be heard and respected. A great resource for survivors, their friends and family or anyone else who is in this space.

3

Volunteer

Rating: 5

I am a male survivor, a psychologist and addictions counselor, and the Co-Chairperson of the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery. I attribute MaleSurvivor as being one of the major keys of my own recovery, and it is a resource I suggest to every male survivor I work with as a psychologist. Healing occurs best when a survivor is connected to a community of support, and that is what MaleSurvivor does best, whether it is through the Weekends of Recovery program, the moderated chat rooms, the bulletin boards where men can learn they are not alone, the therapist referral lists, or the international conference. The organization and its powerful website has important resources for professionals from many disciplines, for survivors, their partners, allies and advocates. I give the MaleSurvivor conference credit for providing me the most well-rounded, professional training in trauma treatment from the world's most competent and effective psychotherapists. The organization is well-run and administrative costs are well managed as well to convert most donations into active support for the men who need help to learn not only to survive, but also how to thrive.

1

Professional with expertise in this field

Rating: 5

I have worked for many years with the healing process of men who have experienced abuse. MaleSurvivor is an invaluable, sometimes life-saving resource and support in this area. I am impressed with the depth of their compassion, commitment, and clinical expertise in the services they offer. I highly recommend their supportive online community, and the wealth of resources and services. They change lives for the better!

Mark138

Client Served

Rating: 5

As a survivor of clergy sexual abuse and someone who lived for years with shame, guilt and isolation I want other survivors to know that this non-profit is a tremendous benefit to the male survivor community. I really don't know where to begin, the extensive book store has many books well worth reading, I have read several on their listing and I found them extremely helpful. The ability to log on to the discussion boards (at first anonymously) made it easy for me to learn what other male survivors were also experiencing, it certainly helped me understand I was no longer alone. The Weekends of Recovery, I attended 2, truly changed my life and helped me release much of the shame and guilt I carried in silence for so many years. Being with men who had the courage and strength to share their own stories of the victimization perpetrated upon them, helped me move forward. The staff was incredibly professional and most caring. I strongly recommend survivors attending some of these weekends. By the way if you talk to their administration staff...Trisha is amazingly helpful and kind.