Hopeful Horizons

From Victim to Survivor: A Story of Hope
Hope Haven of the Lowcountry
www.hopehavenlc.org

A young woman is raped by her boyfriend. She tells him no, she does not want to have that type of sex with him, but he doesn’t listen and he forces her. Afterwards, she is bruised, beaten and betrayed. She calls the police and is taken to the nearest hospital. Her boyfriend is arrested, but he may not even be held overnight and could be home before her. Already feeling violated and exposed, her clothing is taken from her as collection of evidence in the investigation and she is asked to wait in a room she can’t leave in nothing but a hospital gown, which after her assault makes her feel more exposed. The nurse shows a stranger into the room. He says he’s a volunteer advocate from Hope Haven of the Lowcountry, a child advocacy and rape crisis center. He begins telling her what Hope Haven is, how they offer counseling, legal services, medical referrals, and advocacy for her. He tells her that what happened to her is not her fault, and that what she was wearing, how sober she was, or who she had sex with in the past should ever be used as reasons to justify her rape. Rape is never justified. He tells her that the doctor is going to collect evidence from her body and it is going to make her feel more violated, but it is the best option to make sure she gets justice for the crime committed against her. She has the option to not report or to collect the evidence and report later. She decides to go through with the exam and all the evidence is collected. Afterwards, the advocate asks her about her safety and whether or not she wants to go home. She says she doesn’t feel safe. So, the advocate gives her the contact information for a local domestic abuse shelter and she calls and makes the arrangements. She spends the night at the hospital. But, before she goes to sleep she knows that tomorrow she has somewhere safe to go, that an advocate was by her side when no else could be, that her evidence was handled properly by the hospital and the detectives, and that tomorrow someone from the Hope Haven staff would be there for her.
As a volunteer advocate, I’ve seen assault victims just like this one. I’ve been that stranger who had to walk into a hospital room and tell a victim that everything would be okay. I became a volunteer two years ago after graduating from college and moving back home to Beaufort, SC. I started volunteering at my church and that is where I learned about Hope Haven. After going to Mercer University and where I learned about the horrors of rape, sexual assault, and sex trafficking throughout the world, I wanted to do my small part to help within my community. After 25 hours of training, I learned how to be an advocate for victims of sexual assault, and how many obstacles they face when reporting their assault. I learned that most victims don’t report for fear of being blamed. I learned that 1 in 4 women will be assaulted in their lifetime and 1 in 6 men will be assaulted in theirs. I learned that only 6% of assailants will ever be convicted for their assault. And, I learned that rape and sexual assault are not far flung problems in big cities, foreign countries, and differing cultures across the sea, but is an epidemic worldwide, even in our own community. While this is usually a subject that many people choose to ignore, I stand with Hope Haven that it is an issue that needs discussion and more importantly needs action.
Hope Haven is the road to recovery for children and adult victims of trauma in 5 counties of the South Carolina Lowcountry. Last year, they serviced 544 clients with counselling, support groups, and advocacy, while also furthering prevention efforts in at-risk homes and local schools to stop the epidemic from spreading. While I hope I can make a small difference in the life of a victim, I know that Hope Haven makes all the difference in the world. Their biggest goal is to make every victim, their friends, family, and society around them, no longer see themselves as victims, but to empower them as survivors and help them get back to living life.

I support Hope Haven of the Lowcountry by volunteering my time and energy, and I am convinced I receive so much more from this powerful experience than I could possibly give.

Give: to freely transfer the possession of something. The powerful act of giving unto others is something I have always felt impassioned to express; however, for much of my life giving has been a challenge. In fact, my early experiences in life led me to demonstrate the polar opposite of giving by taking anything and everything I could. To understand the nature of this incredible transformation in my life it is helpful to view giving as a selfless act of love, and taking as a selfish act of fear. As a fearful child experiencing pain on a daily basis and perceiving many things beyond my control being taken away from me, both tangible and abstract, my survival revolved around an impulse to take what I could. My heart wanted to give, but my instincts told me to take. Naturally, living life in this mode only increased my pain. It is because of organizations like Hope Haven of the Lowcountry providing healing to children affected by abuse and neglect that I am able to give today. The individuals that come together to support and provide these services to the community are invaluable to improving the quality of life for everyone in our immediate environment, as well as the global community at large. From my experience, actions have a ripple effect and when we act from a place of selfless giving, rather than selfish consumption, we are spreading love and affecting others in empowering ways we cannot even begin to imagine. I give today because it is an absolute joy and privilege to be of service to others when for so long I was incapable of doing so.

What inspires me to give is the enjoyment I receive when helping and working with people. I have always wanted to be a help to others. I always feel happy when I help someone else, and at the same I feel am truly blessed myself through helping others. I believe God has blessed me so that I can help others even if I can't help financially, sometimes people just need a word of wisdom or encouragement and I make myself available to people that just need someone to talk to. The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to make some difference in someone's life. I personally I don't wait for good things to happen to me, I go out and make some good things happen. Volunteering with Hope Haven of the Low Country for five years I give cheerfully and accept gratefully, then I know everyone is blessed. Take the time to help other people without expecting a reward or gratitude is definitely important in living an optimistic life. There is more happiness in giving than in receiving. What inspires me most also was my mother was a single parent with seven children. I, as the second child can recall someone always helping us. My mother's brother and sister helped provide food and financial help to my family. My older sister and I continue to talk about how good God was to us because he provided for them and then they provided for us without any rewards. I just thank God that I am able to help others today. Volunteering with Hope Haven I have come in contact with two most important Hope Have representatives by the names of Christine Smith and Jeanne Newland, these two people are like family members to me and I feel they inspire me most to volunteer with Hope Haven. I love what I do and whenever I need help, Christine's is there to provide support where I can handle the task no matter how big or small. Christine Smith is one of the best people I have had the pleasure to work with. Another influence in my life with whom I had worked with was Jeanne Newland before moving on to another location. I will never forget her because she is my hero.