My Nonprofit Reviews

my name is Dawn and I am here to honor my boys Jack and Connor that were born 2/20/2006 when i was 23 weeks, 3 days pregnant .  My Connor passed away at birth and my Jack passed in my arms on 2/21/2006. My heart still feels a hole never filled , but today I pursue ways to honor their memory .  Since I never had other children,  it has been a long journey of healing and "managing " my heart break many years ago so I can function in life .  When I first lost my boys I joined a forum like this and read and read all the different stories of loss from so many women . I soon found out I was not alone.  And I really had so much support from strangers who had the same feelings of devastation, loss, anger , and depression of loss .  I learned I was not crazy and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Today I still miss them so much. I see their tiny faces in my head, I relive those dark days when I lost them.  It is ok that I do that .  Today I understand that is really ok .  They were and still are my babies in heaven .  I "acted as if " in many circumstances around people, family  , colleagues .  It was painful and many times I felt like a robot and wanted to scream out loud sometimes"doesnt anyone know what I am going through?!!!" .  It felt like everyone around me just forgot about my loss after a while.  Those feelings were suffocating me. But one day at a time , with the help of people who were there for me,  but not in my face,  with effort on my part to motivate myself for a bit

Using a counselor's help , I looked to the power above and learned I wasnt being punished .  My expectations of other people were way to high of helping me with my pain. My babies were meant to go to heaven right away .  I dont know why , I never will ...but I learned if I try to figure out all the whys, and "what ifs" I will never even find a minute of peace in my heart.   Sorry so lengthy, but I just want to share my experience . After all these years it still feels a bit fresh but   I am a proud mom of two boys in heaven and truly grateful to forums like this to let me share this to you all .   I know I am not alone !!!