My Nonprofit Reviews
Review for Clear Light Arts, ADL, Cleveland, GA, USA
When I first found Ken and Nancy I was pleasantly surprised to find someone of Ken’s caliber open and available to the world. I needed someone to hold the place of the archetypal spiritual healer. Someone who I respected and knew to be safe and kind and above it all, who could look into what I had just experienced and still treat me and everyone involved with kindness and understanding. I had an Ayahuasca ceremony two years prior to find a broader understanding of an experience I had at 8. I did not do the necessary gathering of information, and I assumed it would be a private internal experience, whereby I would go home and interpret on my own the answers I received. It turned out to be a traumatic spectacle of all the different parts of me interacting with everyone in the room. My inner world and my outer world was now split and I had two levels of experience. I was in my inner child self, with no real concept of anything that defines me feeling joyful and exuberant. I joined the group and received the most painful looks from a few people, those who had witnessed the unfolding. Ayahuasca told me that I needed to play with myself, but I did not listen, I wanted to be friends with everyone, I quickly became the worst person in the world, defined by everyone else’s concepts and opinions of who I am and what was wrong with me, the shadow I needed to claim.
I knew that I was different, my voice changed, my entire personality changed and in the inner world of the group, I had no real idea of who I was. I started matching everyone’s patterns while trying desperately to minimize repercussions for everyone I interacted with. I became an amalgamation of the associations I had received and started acting them out. My attempts to tell them who I am what my personal truth is, or what I was experiencing was mostly met with shame, ego ridicule and humbling. I became the poster child for someone who is not claiming their shadow. When I left the group, I ensured that everyone was doing well. But I was still split.
I embarked on a quest for healing, I had gone to many different places and gathered many different concepts of what was wrong with me. It seemed hopeless.
My first distance heart and soul healing session with Ken, I was surprised that I felt empty. He had the most soothing calming voice when he confirmed that I am doing well. He told me that I am smart and capable of figuring this out. I started having good feeling dreams where most of the emotional healing was taking place. I wrote a few emails to Nancy and Ken and started witnessing a personal unfoldment of a healing journey designed specifically for me. Interacting with Nancy in her space and Ken in his space, I would do some inner reflection and realize the split between me and me, my personal unloved, unaccepted parts that I had been hiding from myself, to match a love template that serves and protects everyone but me.
I was received in a clear space of non-judgement. Safe enough to see what belongs to me, what I have picked up during my journey as well as my ego defenses. After doing the clearing techniques and a few more sessions, I felt safe enough to reclaim who I was and continue on my personal journey, knowing that although I am capable of embodying any archetypal character the highest form of love is the freedom I give myself to choose who I most want to be.