My Nonprofit Reviews

It's Not About The Pace, It's About Living

The last few years have been very tumultuous for me. I lost a good paying job due to the recession. I was unemployed for a year and was later reduced to working in a roach infested warehouse for $13 an hour. I went from driving a nice car to driving an economy car with an air conditioning system that would shut off when I hit the accelerator. All these events are bad, but what is worse is the damage done to the soul. You start to give up. I gave up.

I started to feel weak after eating, kinda like having the flu. Or sometimes the room would start to spin if I didn't eat. I was hungry all the time, even after eating. These symptoms went on for a while. At the time, I had insufficient medical insurance with a very high deductible. I didn't seek help until I had another job with better insurance. When I finally saw the doctor, the tests revealed I had high cholesterol, high triglycerides (fat lipids in the blood), abnormal liver function test results/fatty liver, and was pre-diabetic. I also weighed 230 pounds.

You would think I would do something about my health. You would think I would listen to my doctor's advice. I did the exact opposite. I was in a state of denial combined with an attitude of defeat. I had a mentality of 'I'll deal with it later.' The symptoms started to get worse, but yet I did nothing. Some of the toes of my feet started to turn black and blue due to diabetic neuropathy. I still did nothing. I didn't do anything about my health until my mother was diagnosed with cancer.

I was in shock, more than that, I was dropped into a surreal nightmare. My mother was the oak tree of my family. She always took care of herself, watched what she ate, and exercised daily. Even though she was almost 70, she looked like someone in their 50s. And the type of cancer my mother had was even more unbelievable, lung cancer. My mother never smoked.

Hearing about my mother's cancer was a very horrific wake up call. I had to do something about my health. But how? I didn't know where to start. I had no money. I could not afford a gym membership. Also a lot of physical activities require resources, i.e. bicycling required a bicycle. Then I thought about running.

I Googled running clubs. Some were too far away from where I lived or charged too much money, almost as much as $100 a month. I couldn't afford that. Then I found a link to the 'Pasadena Pacers.' The Pacers met in the Rose Bowl and it was FREE to join. But sadly, I couldn't even afford the running shoes or the clothing to join the Pacers. I had to wait for my tax return in order to buy running shoes. I wanted to join the Pacers in October, but had to wait until February of the following year.

I was so nervous and apprehensive when I joined the Pacers. I couldn't even run a mile, let alone walk a mile. I started my path as a runner in the 'Pre-Conditioner' program designed for new runners. I was so eager to start running with the Pacers that I joined the Pre-Conditioners in the middle of their program, which was tough. I remember huffing and puffing like I was going to hyperventilate. But as time went on, running got easier. I could remember a time when running the Rose Bowl 3 mile loop was hard, now I do it with ease. I then graduated to the '10 Mile Challenge' and was able to run 10 miles. I'm currently training for the Los Angeles Marathon and ran 16 miles a few weeks ago, the farthest I ran in my entire life!

A few months ago, I had my first physical since last year. Thanks to the Pasadena Pacers, I now weigh 197 pounds, my liver function test results are normal, and my cholesterol is normal. My A1C is still high, but with changes to my diet and more weight loss I believe I can get my A1C within the normal range.

I used to obsess about my running pace. I would get angry if my pace dropped below a 12 minute pace. During this time period my mother's condition got worse. She was admitted to the hospital for a minor side effect to the chemotherapy and radiation used to treat her cancer, and never left. In the end, I witnessed a lot of pain and suffering. Lung cancer is an insidious way to die, it's like watching someone you love drown to death and you're unable to do anything. My mother would have given anything to be able to breathe normally, let alone run. So just being able to run is a privilege, it's a gift. Running is not about the pace or the distance, it's about living.