My Nonprofit Reviews

I was delighted to receive your letter last week. Since I last wrote to you I have had the great fortune to have moved into a single cell and I am able to meditate at my leisure which is a great change. When I was sharing cells I had to make an extra effort either to get up early and make the most time when the cell was empty which was good practice of discipline. I now meditate twice daily. The first session (20 min) before work and then in the afternoon (30 min). I also study and read in all my spare time. I have read both modules you sent and the how to meditate book. When I first started meditating I found it extremely hard to concentrate for more than a few seconds without my mind wandering, but the advise in the books about not being attached to those thoughts and let them go and bring the concentration back to the breath. What have I thought? Well I think I’ve experienced all kinds of thoughts and feelings. When I first started I noticed on the out breath was when my mind usually started to wander and was a constant battle to keep concentrating. Through time and continued effort I don’t see to battle any longer and just let go. Some days are better than other but generally I feel sense of peacefulness that I can’t remember ever feeling before in my day to day existence. I find that through effort I am becoming more mindful of my actions and thoughts and I often question my motivation behind these thoughts. I try to keep life as simple as I can and it feels good not to be wanting all the time and being more aware of others needs. I have been reading ‘Heart Sutra’ and I am slowly gaining a better understanding of emptiness. I also have been studying the law of dependent origination and the Four Noble Truths. It is a great relief to be able to have some understanding why I was compelled to keep taking drugs and drinking when clearly they were making me unhappy and do things that I felt I couldn’t control. I had become a very selfish and self centered person that was clearly very unhappy and angry which now seems like a lifetime ago. It’s nice when your parents start commenting about the change in my attitude. Its also amazing that I’m feeling that most content I’ve felt in all my life and I’m in jail, which I now understand is quite irrelevant.

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