My experience with transplant is different from many of yours. While recipients get a second chance at life, my family's experience was the complete opposite. My brother, Miguel, became a donor in 2005. He was only 14 years old when he passed away. My story revolves around the life he lost but ultimately the life giving gifts he gave.
On Christmas morning my mom dropped Miguel off at his girlfriend's house and 10 minutes later my mom's phone rang. 'Sara, Miguel has just been shot.' My brother, who was only 14 years old, had this powerful weapon. He was trying to unload it when it accidentally went off and shot and killed him. That was the worst day of my life.
Initially, my family decided against donation. We knew nothing about it! In our minds we were thinking the hospital staff did not do everything to save him. We thought they didn't value his life and just gave his organs to the next person on the waiting list. My mom, sisters and I had never discussed organ donation. We were skeptics. It happens on T.V. or to other people but not us, not my family. My aunt, who happened to work at the hospital where my brother passed away, along with Donor Family Advocate from Donor Network sat down and talked with us about this decision.
Thinking back, I feel like we were being selfish and wanted to keep my brother entirely to ourselves. I think that I was mostly afraid that once we donated his organs he would be disfigured from it and no longer be my brother. I was afraid of what would become of him after donation, in the physical sense. I was worried my brother would not look like my brother. Eventually we decided this was something we needed to do and Miguel's kidneys, liver and his heart were donated. We had a completely normal funeral for Miguel and he looked normal. It was my brother.
When my brother died I was 18 years old. One month after his passing my family and I received a letter from one of the kidney recipients. She expressed her condolences and mentioned how grateful she was for the gift of life. It was sweet. However, her excitement came at a cost to us. I was still grieving over the loss of my brother and the last thing I wanted to hear was how any of the recipients were doing. I was not at the point in my grieving process that allowed me to be delighted for any of the recipients. Six and a half years later I sent my first letter. I was finally ready. I heard back from Angela, a woman who received Miguel's kidney and we connected via email. I have not met her face to face, or any of the other recipients but I would love to one day have that opportunity.
My life mission is to raise awareness for organ and tissue donation. I know that it saves and enhances lives. I am as happy as can be that his organs were donated. I think there would have been great regret if we had not. I will continue to advocate and share my brother's story. This is my healing process. Before donation my life was normal. My brother was here with me. The words 'Organ Donation' were in no way part of our vocabulary. Now, those words have become my life. Today I serve as Executive Director for a non-profit supporting transplant patients.
Review from #MyGivingStory