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Lodi Nonprofits and Charities

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Sonshine Specialized Camping Ministries

1 Reviews
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Lodi, CA
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I worked for Sonshine Ministries for 3 summers. All 3 of those summers I was a Barney. In my 5 week session as a trainee my last summer, I was a barney for 3 of those weeks. Being a Barney is incredibly physically draining. Sonshine is founded on humble servanthood, which is an amazing idea, but I believe the people in charge often take this too far. I used to have to take naps in the bathroom, either on the floor or on the toilet every single day because I could not get through the day due to lack of sleep. Yet, I always felt awful about this because we as staff were never able to show weakness or let campers or church staff know in any way that we were struggling and needed help. I would be asked all the time by campers and church staff if I needed help and I would have loved to ask for an extra hand, but I was so afraid that I would be kicked off of staff. The same was for Barneys using their cell phones to call for help. We were instructed to stand in the bathroom or the closet, as to not draw attention to us calling for help. These rules were enforced harshly and I was constantly scared of doing something wrong and being sent home over the smallest thing. This absolutely should not happen in a ministry.<br>My first summer on the water, I was fresh out of high school and was excited to Barney. I only served 2 weeks and then reapplied to be a trainee the next summer. Shortly after, I was sent a pre-written letter of rejection, saying they didn't think I was "fit" to serve this summer. I was devastated and had absolutely no idea why they rejected me. What could I have done wrong in 2 weeks? I was then contacted early in the summer and was asked if I could come up to serve a full 5 week session because many of their staff dropped. Craving acceptance, I said yes. That's when I served again. I was a barney for 5 weeks and then I applied the next summer to be a trainee. My trainee summer is when everything really tanked. Yes, I'm just getting started. The trainee program is incredibly toxic. It's hard to explain, but it's a 4 week program where all the trainees are put in a group together and they gather once a week to go through a packet with the team and all of admin. When you go, you barely know these people (at the start), keep in mind. The first thing they ask is "what are 3 things you hate about yourself the most?" or "what are your potholes?" They asked this day one, when I did not know these people I was expected to share my darkest insecurities with. This is forced vulnerability. I felt incredibly uncomfortable my entire time doing this. I was told I had to be completely honest or I wouldn't get anything out of this program. In this process, I admitted things to people I barely know that I haven't admitted to my best friend or family. This was 3 years ago and I still hold so much shame over this. I believe that Sonshine subtly coerces their staff into forced vulnerability. Not only this, but I had friends on administrative staff that I knew before working at Sonshine, and they were wonderful amazing people. However, when working with them on the water, they turned into mean, dismissive people who acted like they never knew me. I believe this is because they were under the influence of the director. All of this to say, Sonshine has caused me quite a bit of trauma. I did learn a lot while I was there, which is why I kept coming, but I did not realize how manipulative this environment was until I left. I realized quickly that for as many positive experiences I had (meeting wonderful people on lower level staff, learning more about my faith), the negatives far outweighed the positive. I haven't said anything for years but I don't want anyone to endure the physical and emotional exhaustion and shame I experienced doing Sonshine. I also am not the only one that feels that way. I have talked to several other friends I made through this experience and they feel the same way. I think the idea of Sonshine is great, and I think campers do have life changing experiences on the water, but I think they way the administrative staff treats the lower level staff, especially Barneys and trainees is manipulative and wrong. Please do not volunteer here.

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