My Nonprofit Reviews
Review for Fireproof Ministries Inc, Pasadena, CA, USA
For as long as I remember I felt I was different from other males. I was reminded of myself as a baby; I was anemic and colloquy, I cried a lot and was a bother. I don’t recall ever being told that I was a blessing. I remember my Mom once commenting that “Satan uses children” in their parents lives. Also that words can hurt more than any physical act of aggression. My dad was an engineer and he worked a lot, got home, had dinner and that was that. I don’t recall that he never really expressed any words of encouragement although I am sure he must have. We went to church because it was what we were supposed to do. We were workers. We had no family devotions. both my mom and dad were extremely well read and I can recall my dad reading a lot. He knew his doctrine. There was a kind of fatalistic approach to things: God would do what He would do. He would save whom He would save. End of story. It was our job to obey Him and trust Him with the results.
I went to grade school just up the road form our house and my brother and I walked to school each day. School was rather joyless. Also I found out, later, that I was dyslexic and in the 50’s it was not fully understood. I was regarded as “retarded” by some of the teachers which my parents HIGHLY objected to as they felt I was smart just not applying myself. I became a class clown but I had no real friends. I wanted a boy to be my friend so when I met Paul it was really like a dream come true. Paul was a good athlete, he was rugged and handsome and he was my friend. At least I thought so. It was Paul that taught me about sexual sin. I did not discourage this as Paul was my friend and it was exciting and forbidden. I think I would have done anything to keep him as my friend.
These events started me on a life course that would not end until I was sixty years old! Years of "working" at my relationship with the Lord, trying to please Him by doing the right thing, then periods of rebellion and embracing my sin, ended when I got involved with Fireproof ministries and the XXX Church study. These paved the way for me to hear God say, "I love you and I will never leave you." When I accepted God as He is NOT as I understood Him, when I came to know that He did love me I was able to accept Him and He touched my life. That happened over five months ago and God is faithful! I finally have come to know that I didn't need victory over my sin I needed deliverance. God did that and He used FM, XXX Church and real caring Christians around me to do it. Mostly He just spoke to me and I finally heard Him. I now am not worried about being accepted by other men because I am accepted by God; I no longer worry over it. God made me the way I am and He has transformed me as well. Many of my attributes that I felt excluded me from the "Man Club" are true across the board for many men. God has allowed me to witness to some of them and that is the greatest of blessings! I have told many that "I am vacation from myself!" And that is a truth that only tears and laughter can really express.
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