That little boy was 3 years old when the abuse began. By the time he was 9 years old there had been 5 male abusers. I'll not get into my personal story but let me assure you my abuse was nothing compared to the horror stories you will find in MS. (I'm not supposed to compare ... but I was never hurt) Read some of them ... and try to sleep at night. I joined MS on the 30th of October in 2012. Circumstances in my life at the time were dire ... if I had not found MS I would not be here writing this review. Subsequent periods of my life since then have also been difficult. I am Bipolar and severely diabetic and isolate myself and without MS I don't think I could survive. I am here almost every day. I'm here for me ... and I'm here for them. That's what it's all about. The site itself is a lifeline ... but it's the men that make MS what it is. We gather here in safety ... in camaraderie ... we cry ... we laugh ... we live. We are free to share of ourselves without the kind of fear the world still imposes on male survivors of sexual abuse. We are still not as well understood as female victims. Our circumstances have unique aspects and even in the professional medical field we still run into challenges not faced by women. Here ... we can just be who we are ... and not just what we are. I have a Therapist and access to a Psychiatrist if I need one and an MD who is incredibly caring and supportive. My medicinal needs are well managed. All of this is what I've been blessed with for 30 years. I live in a city ... and a country ... where that's possible. Other men are not so lucky. A large number of them live in areas of the world ... domestically and internationally ... where there is nothing! They have nowhere to turn ... nowhere to go ... nowhere to run ... no hope. MS is all they have. Sincerely ... Shawn
This organization really only offers a discussion boards, which can be dangerous and unhelpful if you aren't in the right "clique." Their website is outdated and unhelpful and recently all they do is ask for money.
Aside from their chat boards and a few "Weekends of Recovery," which receive mixed reviews, they don't seem to do much else.
There's no other organization that addresses men's issues pertaining to sexual abuse. MaleSurvivor is made up of caring facilitators and therapists. I participated in two of their Weekends of Recovery and was touched and awed by the high level of compassion, concern and respect. I can't recommend this organization highly enough! Thank you.
Coming out of a 10 year relationship at the age of 43, I began doing research on what resources were available for men who had been sexually abused. I came across the MaleSurvivor.org website. Seeing the plethora of resources on the site provided me with the information I needed to begin my recovery process.
I was intrigued when I read about the Weekends of Recovery. At my first retreat, I remember thinking: “This is the safest place I’ve ever been”. I was surrounded by other men who could relate to and understand the feelings I had about having been sexually abused. The professional facilitators were unlike many other professionals, they understood — and knew how to respond appropriately to — various aspects of how sexual abuse affects men in particular.
Having attended 5 Weekends of Recovery, I can say that I feel more open and better connected. I have significantly reduced feelings of anger, guilt and shame; and I’ve learned that it is valuable to pay attention to how my body processes my emotions.
It’s been almost 4 years since I found MaleSurvivor. I no longer feel that I need to be anonymous in regard to the fact that I was sexually abuse. I, in fact, have gone public. Being involved with MaleSurvivor has helped me to significantly reduce the negative effects of the abuse in my life, and I know this also holds true for many other men.
For over 3 years, I have been facilitating a peer-to-peer support group for men who have been sexually abused. Doing so has helped to increase my self-worth and ability to connect with others. The group was started over 8 years ago by 3 men who had attended a MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery. Many of our members find us through the “Find a Support Group” section on MaleSurvivor.org.
So, this is one man’s testimony about the MaleSurvivor organization. It is an authentic organization. Did they pay me to write this? In many ways, yes, but not monetarily. They paid me with resources, tools, professionals, a community of men, and a foundation which helps me to excel in my recovery and my personal life.
I don't know where I'd be without this organization - my childhood sexual abuse spanned 10 years, involved multiple abusers and included torture - I never thought anyone would understand, believe or care for me. It was the first place I was able to safely disclose my history, outside of private counseling. The self-mposed silence/secrecy and overwhelming sense of shame was almost too much to bear. On their website I am able to address topics with other survivors in a safe, anonymous environment but I'm able to make connections with other survivors at my discretion. I have made life-long friends from MaleSurvivor.org, particularly through the Weekend of Recovery programs. Every male survivor, whether their abuse was a single event or over decades, should have a place they feel welcome, heard, understood. The therapists at the Weekends of Recovery, the moderators on the website and the fellow members on the website are supportive and undertsanding. I am surviving and actually thriving - thank you MaleSurvivor.org.
MaleSurvivor's programs are not as all-encompassing as they portray them to be considering their mission statement is "overcoming sexual abuse of boys and men." Their Weekends of Recovery program appeared to me to be geared almost exclusively toward male child sexual abuse victims. This program was of very little use to me as a survivor of rape as an adult. The organization is openly hostile toward male adult rape survivors by censoring their thoughts and speech on their discussion boards through private messages, open retaliation, and banning users. The organization has also had problems as recent as 2 years ago with moderators on their discussion boards engaging in inappropriate behavior with underage participants. The leadership of this organization is cliqueish in that the administrators of their discussion boards and executive leadership have rotated through the same group of people with very little outside blood brought in. In short, this nonprofit appears to me to management issues and fails to abide by their mission statement.
I have found a new life in part to MaleSurvivor.org. Through my therapist, i found out about the MS website where I really began to understand what had happened to me as a child. I found a safe haven to read about others who shared in my pain and personal shame. I was not alone. I found others who 'got it' and a place where I didn't have to explain things...these other men understood. Understood a lifetime of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self loathing. Having this organization as a source of information and support has literly saved my life. I've attended three workshops, the MS World Conference in NYC, been in the audience for Oprah's 200, contibuted to a book on healing, and am now thriving all in part because of MaleSurvivor. I am proud to call all these other men I've connected with through MS, my Brothers. This organization and the people who serve in it, is and are trully amazing.
I am a counselor at a rape crisis center. Most of the professional conferences and trainings I have attended focus primarily on helping female victims of sexual violence. When I was contacted by an adult male survivor of extensive childhood sexual abuse, I was not sure how much I could help him. I did know that there was no way I could turn him away. I searched on line for resources to help me understand the different dynamic when working with men. I am extremely thankful for MaleSurvivor.org as a resource. It has helped me help the men I now work with. I always refer male clients to the sight and have only heard positive feedback from those who visit the site. As my counseling career continues, I am struck by how many men disclose abuse and who, sadly, have been suffering in silence for years. MaleSurvivor is safe place where men can learn an important part of healing - they are not alone, they are not responsible for what was done to them, they have nothing to be ashamed of and are worth loving. Keep the conversation going!
I was one of the lucky ones who found Male Survivor in my earlier years (late 20's). In this organization, I was freed from secrecy and shame, and I can almost say today that the abuse was not my fault. Just in the healing and growth I have received to date, I am a completely changed person. I know that I am not alone and I walk with my head held high. I want to thank the MaleSurvivor organization for facing one of the most difficult issues of our times. MaleSurvivor fosters healing for men, and in turn, heals relationship, families, and communities. Thank you to the staff and counselors of MaleSurvivor. Their compansion, courage, and leadership are extraordinary! Truly one of the best gifts of my life.
I found malesurvivor in the midst of the worst crisis of my adult life. At the age of 51 my world (which appeared to most as wonderful) was falling apart. I did not understand what was happening to me, my dreams, the flash backs, panic attacks, dissociation... uggh and thoughts of suicide. It was than that I found malesurvivor. To say that this organization, and the therapists involved, saved my life is not an exaggeration. I have attended the level one and level two weekends of recovery, I attended a weekly support group for two years and I now have had the opportunity to share my story at several university's. I was raped when I was 12 years old and never once told anyone about what had happened to me. Malesurvivor was the only place that gave me the safety and understanding to began to talk and heal from the trauma of my past. Thank you Malesurvivor..
Malesurvivor is the world leader in the area of sexual violence towards men and boys. And sexual abuse of men and boys is statistically one of the largest social issues on the planet. That demonstrates how important Malesurvivor is as an organization. I first learned about Malesurvivor through their incredible webiste, that offered so much resources of healing, support and hope. And it was there I disocovered their Weekend of Recovery Program which I atteneded when it was held in Ontario, Canada. That weekend not only changed my life, it saved my life. It was a pivitol point in my healing journey that continues today. And now as an alumni I continue to recieve support from from Malesurvivor. They are without a doubt the most important not-for-profit , the work that they do is priceless.
I have had the opportunity to attend three weekend workshops provided by malesurvivor and it has been a life changing experience As a boy of eight I was abducted and raped. I did not realize had much this assault affected my life. I have so much gratitude for these men and women that volunteer their time and energy to help men. They provide a safe place for men to come together and heal. The weekends are a time to grow and connect with people
10 stars. MaleSurvivor is a one-of-a-kind organization with the best people imaginable. I've been to 3 Weekends of Recovery with them, and they have changed my life from victim to SURVIVOR.
As a survivor of childhood male sexual abuse, my first days of awareness were filled with terror as memories flooded my being and left me crippled to perform in the outside world. I had blocked out the traumatic events from childhood and they eventually surfaced as an adult. I ran across Male Survivor over a decade ago as I began to understand the realm and depth of what I was experiencing. I attended a number of retreat workshops and learned that I wasn't alone, that there was a brotherhood of affected men and boys who shared similar traumas. Male Survivor provided a safe and therapeutic environment in which I was able to explore those memories and fears without them destroying me, and eventually I was able to grow enough to be able to step back and give back to the community some of the gained wisdom and knowledge. Today, I have returned to work and am thriving doing what I love to do; my childhood dream of being an Electrical Engineer has come to light, and I am learning to coexist with the past and present 'me'. As much as I've grown, I've seen Male Survivor grow as well. They have always provided excellent support, but they grew as a voice and a presence that ended up giving them much needed exposure. The world began to understand that men are significantly affected by childhood sexual assault, and Male Survivor's core Board dug in their heels and focused on holding a strong administrative foundation in order to be there when the world needed them. I'm extremely grateful to Male Survivor for being there for me and showing me first-hand that it's possible to recover and thrive from childhood male sexual abuse.
When I casually mentioned I was sexually abused as a child, my therapist suggested I look at MaleSurvivor’s website. Unbeknownst to me, my abuse has led a lifetime of personal conflict. Through the website, the Dare to Dream Program, and Weekends of Recovery I have finally been able to, after 30 years of repression, explore and confront my thoughts/feelings of the childhood sex abuse. Without MaleSurvivor my secret would continue to weigh me down, suppress my self-worth, and made view the world in a very negative light. MaleSurvivor is the only reliable place for male sex abuse survivors to find support and resources. MaleSurvivor has helped me recover from innocence lost and to bounce back from the trauma with increased self-confidence, enthusiasm, and self-compassion. We all have personal dragons to slay. MaleSurvivor has been my tool on their journey to recovery.
I have been working through the effects of sexual abuse as a pre-teen for many years and MaleSurvivor has offered consistent support, empathy and compassion even when I have felt I needed to apologize for taking the occasional break. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am that members "get it" no matter what I am revealing in my story or struggling with in terms of my emotions. The shredding of stigma, the encouragement, and the flexibility of writing on a message board or safely chatting with others bring together men from all over the world, with the experience of a wide range of resources. I always sign out of MaleSurvivor feeling much better than when I signed in!
I am a survivor of sexual abuse and I stumbled upon this site by accident. Let me tell you, it was the best accident I have ever had. It offers the help you need when going through something like this. I told my family and nobody knew what to say. Nobody ever knows what to say or do unless they have been through it. This is a place where men of all ages come to help and get help with one common issue. It has been the rock that has kept me together through telling my family and starting my treatment. I honestly do not know if I would have ever had the courage to open up about my abuse if it weren't for MaleSurvivor. They really are amazing. There are not enough places or organizations that are for males dealing with sexual abuse. They make it possible to get help no matter where you live.
When I was taking a criminal justice class in College we had to write about something criminal. I took it upon myself to learn what the long term effects of child sexual abuse were...since I was molested by my step father 22 years before. In preparing for this paper I ran accross a book called Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men. Guilford Press, 1999, 2001. by Dr. Richard Gartner. On the back of the book I saw that he was on the board of MaleSurvivor.org. Being that I have never heard of this organization I googled the name and signed up for a Weekend of Recovery that night. This weekend was in May and it is so difficult to explain how it has effected my life. All these years, I finally was able to meet other men who were abused like me. I was able to talk about my feelings and know that no one there would judge me. When I started a MLM business I have committed that 10% of all my profit will go to MaleSurvivor.org to help other men find their voice.
This organization is literally one of the very few that "get it" in terms of the affects and damage done by sexual abuse and violence against males! Even organizations like RAIIN and PCAR just don't get it like MaleSurvivor does! In my darkest hour, when I was close to taking my own life, their website and programs helped me take the desperately needed steps toward healing and recovery! They continue this effort tirelessly and continue to help others and to raise awareness, even when the current tide in the public eye is want to try and forget about it! Thank you MaleSurvivor for your work!
WHen faced with the reality of my dis-functional life as a result of CSA (Childhood sexual abuse) and in therapy once again. I found Male Survivor on the web and they were having a weekend of recovery in Pennsylvania not far from my home. I attended the weekend and it helped me more than I can express in words. The wounded soul that I was began to really heal.
When I needed help in the Summer of 2008, I quickly discovered that there were almost no real resources for male survivors of sexual violence. While searching online, I was referred to MaleSurvivor and joined the forum. The postings, community spirit and free online resources were of great assistance to me as I began my healing. MaleSurvivor is an incredible resource and I highly recommend it to other male survivors in need of assistance.
What is most important in overcoming sexual abuse is to seek out healing and Malesurvivor is a vital part of the process. I am a survivor of sexual abuse and Malesurvivor has played a large role in that healing.
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse & incest. I attended the conference held by Male Survivor (then known as NOMSV) in the fall of 2001 in NYC. Eleven years later, the conference & the panels I attended are still vivid in my mind; the memory of that conference is profoundly healing for me. It was extremely informative, but more, it helped ease my lifelong sense of isolation. The more I can internalize the fact that I am not alone, in either my suffering or my recovery process, the more healing I get. Male Survivor's very existence continually reinforces this truth.
Quite simply, MaleSurvivor is an organization that routinely saves the lives of men who have been abused to the point of wishing for any end to the intense and often life long agony they have suffered at the hands of the most wicked individuals on the face of the earth. As a fellow survivor who has taken advantage of the weekends of recovery offered by MaleSurvivor, I can speak firsthand about the incredible work done by the facilitators at these weekends. All the volunteers are truly committed and competent. The experience was nothing less than life changing. I shudder to think where I might be if not for MaleSurvivor. Instead, where I am today is a really good place. My recovery has been aided tremendously by MaleSurvivor
I'm a survivor of childhood incest. This site/organization made me realize I'm not alone and put me in touch with other survivors, support groups and counselors.
Male Survivor has helped me out and changed my life. I was able to attend a Weekend of Recovery and it helped me in my healing from being molested. All of the Members who ran the weekend were all volunteers and were there on their own time. That is so amazing and I am so grateful that Male Survivor is around. The Website is a big first step towards getting on the path of recovery and healing. Male Survivor gave me the hope that I was looking for.
As a male survivor of sexual abuse from the age of 5 till the age of 10, I have struggled my whole life with the fallout. I never understood my rage, feelings of guilt and shame, and the unhealthy behaviors and attitudes I used to mask my real feelings. Then, at the age of 55 I discovered MaleSurvivor through an appearence by Dr. Howard Fradkin on the Oprah Winfrey Show, along with Tyler Perry and 200 men who were all survivors of abuse as children. I wanted so much to be able to stand up there with them on that stage. I wanted to let people know what I have been through and to be seen and counted for the first time. Then on their website I learned about their Weekend Of Recovery programs. I attended one in Dahlonega Georgia, and spent the weekend with 28 men who were just like me, but from every walk of life, faith, color, orientation, and stage of recovery and relationship status. WOW! The support this organization has given me is overwhelming. And on these weekends the faciitators are the best of the best in their fields. On my first weekend Dr. Fradkin was there and so ill that he was hospitalized at the end of the weekend, but he stuck it out for us, we never even knew he was sick. Dedication personified! I recently returned from my second weekend in Utah. Same feeling, same support, same professionalism, same dedication. I cannot say enough. MaleSurvivor is one of my most important resouces along with my family and my local counselor. A real lifeline.
I am a survivor of incest who became a licensed counselor specializing in the treatment of trauma and PTSD. When I was in my mid forties and dealing with the abuse that I encountered at the hands of my father, I heard of Male Survivor and later attended one of their Weekends of Recovery. It allowed me to deal more easily and effectively with what I was going through. Now, 20 year later, and after having published a memoir describing my recovery from abuse, I am pleased to be in a role where I can guide the efforts of the organization. Through its multipurpose website, its recovery weekends and its activism on behalf of all males who have been victimized, Male Survivor serves a unique population that is under-served.
Review from Guidestar
At my first MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery, I walked into a room with 30 other people I had never met before, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I can't overstate how important the work MaleSurvivor does every day to help survivors and to create a community of healing. I was honored and humbled when the board asked me to take on the duties of Executive Director earlier this year. I think it says quite a bit about the powerful impact MaleSurvivor has on the lives of survivors that someone who was losing a life long battle with depression and suicidal thoughts just a few years ago could find the hope and support I needed to really do the hard work of healing. MaleSurvivor has helped hundred of thousands of male survivors and their loved ones through our website and other affiliated programs since 1995.
Review from Guidestar