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Thanks4thehelp

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FEMINIST WOMENS HEALTH CENTER INC
July 29, 2013

I want to share my experience and am hoping to help others with their big decisions
In life. I went thru an abortion with a Dr. Middleton.
My experience was horrible. To start, I wasn't allowed to eat
Or drink after midnight. I rode with a friend coming from TN.
My appointment was at 10 am and I arrived around 9. I first was called back for
A finger poke and sat in the back room with about 7
Other ladies. All was silent and though I knew I had to
Go thru with it, I was shaking inside. I was taken back
For my ultrasound (which I code not to view), it consisted
Of a quick 1 second bop to the uterus (no chance she
Could've measured crown to rump ratio) and I told her that I was
Quite scared that I was at 12 weeks and if I was, I couldn't go thru with
The procedure. She quickly replied with a "you're not even
Close to 12 weeks yet (tho I was quite positive I was). I was quickly
Rushed back into the sea of women awaiting their procedure. I will
Note that the patients and a lot of the nurses and assistants were all
Black and I was the only white woman in the clinic on Dec 8th 2012, a day
That has upset my mindset. I sat out in the waiting room for hours! I was finally
Brought back at 630pm and got dressed into my gown, hair net,
Footies etc. I went back for "counseling" (wink wink) where I was very
Afraid at this point. I was starved, thirsty and miserable. I told the counselor
That I wasn't sure I could do this at this point and even after waiting so long,
I'd probably be better off going home. I felt so guilty already. I asked her what my
Babies age was and she replied "it's only 8 wks and 2 days, no bigger than a raspberry".
With that, I took their word for it ( I knew that this age was not accurate with when
The pregnancy occurred and let alone with adding 2 weeks before ovulation. I was
Truly around 12 weeks but I wanted to lie to myself so I would go thru
With the procedure, it was imminent to me. Finally around 730, I was brought to
I kept questioning myself tho and would run to the nurses for comfort. They were very rude
To me and so I said to them "this isn't something I want and I'm truly hurting inside from it all.
The nurse did respond nicely and said "you figure out what you want to do and let me know.
She then went into the other hall and her and another nurse were making fun of me loud enough for
Me to hear! "We don't feel sorry for you white girl", "girl is crazy if she think imma feel sorry for her, she need to grow up and face her choices and results of her actions". I'm not gonna lie, I was furious. I just laid down on the couch and thinking "why are they being so mean?" I sobbed uncontrollably and finally I was taken back to "the room". I was very visibly distraught, and my pulse was at 160 bpm (probably the same As my babies heart beat. They told me to calm down, get on the bed, place my legs in the stirrups (exposing everything to the door of the room as people continually walked in and out. I was mortified). The anesthesiologist was pretty nice. Dr Middleton finally walked in and I was petrified. They started my IV and the dr told me that I would be ok and I'd go to sleep and it would all be over soon. I watched them shoot the anesthesia into the IV and my word while the anesthesia was burn my skin were "I'm a bad person for this".. As the anesthesia pumped in, I lastly said "ouch.. That burns bad" and it was lights out. I woke up quickly from the anesthesia. Was slightly high and jabbering on how good it felt to be high after feeling so afraid. It was short lived. The tears came. I was helped to the bathroom where I wasn't losing any blood. As I walked out w my clothes on, another girl stood up and massive amounts of bright red blood shot down her legs and pooled around her feet. I felt bad for her bc I wasn't losing any blood hardly and she was in pain. I watched other girls get sat down and the nurse would state "everything went well and as expected" then she told them about the antibiotic (doxycycline), helped them to their car and off they went. When I say down, the nurse could see I was hurting in my soul again. She smiled and said that it was funny with the stuff I was rambling on about after the procedure and that they also needed some good laughs from working there and that I did good on making them laugh. This was a different nurse btw, a black woman who was very nice. She immediately handed me my antibiotic and sent me off. She didnt mention that all went as planned but I figured it was bc she got sidetracked with trying to get a smile out of me. Off I went! I slept and cried all the way home. Days passed and the blood came. The blood was massive! I honestly thought I should go to the ER for how much I was losing. Way more than a normal period. A few more days passed and the clots came. They were enormous, about as big as my hand. I was so scared. I have NOT told anyone of me having an abortion. Nobody knew what was up w me, not even my husband whom I had his the fact that I was pregnant and he never found out until things continually got worse. I couldn't stop the blood, no pad was good enough. I spent 3 weeks of losing tons of blood and so I called my regular gyn and scheduled my follow up procedure. Nothing was slowing down. I had taken the antibiotics as prescribed. I was losing major amounts of weight. I'm very petite at 5'5 and generally 115 pounds. I eventually dropped down to a whopping 85 Pds. Was knocking on deaths door (note I didn't drop down that low until a couple months after the procedure due to severe depression. Back to the story, I was sweating enormous amounts and begin feeling as I did when I was in labor with my only child, my 6 year old son. The abortion was a first time experience. I always preached prolife until I was hit with an unwanted pregnancy. Anyways, with the labor pains continuing, I was in Walmart and buying some pamprin for the pain. I rushed home, sat on the toilet bc of the blood and while sitting, my body expelled the fetus approximately 1 month after the procedure. Not to be super graphic but with the way it hit the water, I knew it was something different and tho I wouldn't have wanted to face it, my curiosity got the best of me. That was prob for the best because it was solid and couldn't have been flushed. I immediately recognized the head and arms.. It was as though it had never been detached, still connected to everything. It's belly appeared to be ripped open but otherwise, it was a perfectly little tiny baby. It's hands laid across its face, elbows pointed out. I could see every tiny finger. I got the baby out of the toilet. I did not feel sorry for myself. I felt sorry for what I had done and I thought that if this baby did feel pain, I brought about massive torture to my own little baby. I took photos of it, wrapped it up, and immediately got rid of it. My husband at this point, still didnt know what was happening to me. I was an empty shell. The bleeding continued. I went to my doc, I was truthful with her and told her everything that happened. She did an emergency ultrasound (the next morning) to check for any additional things inside of me. I had spots in my uterus for increased blood flow and she said that my body still considered itself to be pregnant, my HGC was still way too high and I had a serious uterine infection. I went thru a lot of antibiotics. She said that what had happened was I had been given a wrong conception date and the baby was further than noted. The people wanted my money (I paid it all in cash w a money order, didnt get it free thru tenncare) and they wanted the cash. She said that my uterus had been vigorously scraped to try to remove it and it clearly was not removed at all! So w a uterus infection, hospitalization and lots of bleeding (about 3 months worth) a dead baby in the toilet, loss of job due to severe sickness, severe depression diagnosis, rude staff and a doc that I paid to remove a fetus from my uterus (and she didnt remove any it). We got a dead baby, a sad woman, a 6 yr old who needs his mother, a very much scarred and ruined uterus(which I will accept as my punishment). I give this clinic an ABSOLUTE 2 thumbs down. Thank you for the loss of my sanity, reproductive parts, job and life! Thank u folks at Feminist women's center in ATL. Was not my pleasure.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

No

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Badly

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

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Client Served