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CynM

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ALLIANCE OF HOPE FOR SUICIDE SURVIVORS
September 26, 2012

This site has comforted me in my darkest hours. Now that I am on the path to recovery I thought I would share the letter I posted on their site this morning in the hope others will find The Alliance of Hope Forum: --->Hello
This is such an important site and one I have frequented often. After my husband took his life 19 months ago I read every post on this site and would check daily for any new postings. My log in name was Cynth. Many changes have occurred in my life since S took his life in the beautiful barn he'd just built. Since I took a long break from posting on this site I'm reintroducing myself • since I'm a different person now I'm Cyn, a survivor of suicide.

Let me first say my heart goes out to each and every one of you. For those struggling with the simple but sometimes impossible tasks of getting out of bed and greeting the new day, I wish you hope. Life can regain its meaning - don't give up. A friend told me recently to "just stand" - sometimes that is the accomplishment, no matter how dark the days and nights can be - just hold on - just stand.

What's changed in my life? Almost everything. I lost my husband, I sold the house, his family is lost to me now too, my brother's ex-in-laws were lost to a murder/suicide, my job went from full-time with benefits to part-time, I lost the circle of friends we had, and I had to find a new home for my dog since he needed a full-time companion.

What have I gained (besides weight)? Compassion, understanding, survival skills, a new love, a new home, new friends, bone-deep sadness, and a renewed resolve to make a difference in the world.

This summer I paddled in PaddlePower (Paddlepower.org) and walked in "Out of the Darkness" in Newport, Vermont. In Newport they had the modest goal of hoping to raise $5000 and one month later they've raised over $30,000. Both organizations are aimed at suicide prevention and awareness. I met many folks dealing with the aftermath of suicide and have shared many sad moments with strangers.

Will I ever completely recover from this tragedy? I suspect I will feel heartbroken when I think about S. He was a good and decent man. He was tormented by depression/anxiety and alcoholism & drug abuse. When I look up at the stars I say a little prayer for him and hope he is at peace.

I best be getting my day started. I want to thank you all for taking the time to write and post your messages. I believe we can help each other. You've all helped me, especially on those nightmare days when I struggled to "just stand".

Wishing you peace & hope, Cyn

More feedback

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

MY ROLE:
Client Served