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112 Reviews
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October 6, 2013
3 people found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
3 people found this review helpful

To suggest that the Straight Spouse Network is a "lifesaver" is not hyperbole. It is a fact. I am living proof. When my former husband of nearly 30 years told me he was gay, I prayed to die in my sleep. I planned ways to kill myself that would appear to be accidental so our children wouldn't blame their father. My life changed in so many ways as a result of my relationship with SSN.

The value of peer support cannot be quantified.
This experience, according to most mental health professionals, is eclipsed only by the death of a child for a parent and spouse. No one, other than those who have lived it/are living it, can fathom the emotional toll this takes on a person.

I have been involved with the group since 1998.
Having a gay spouse is not the end of the world, but I certainly felt that way for a very long time. SSN helped me move through a very difficult process. It is an extremely isolating situation. The fact that someone, some wonderful str8 person, is willing to be on the other side of a screen or the other end of a phone conversation is invaluable. Being able to cry and laugh about the circumstances that arise is so important.

For those who have not been through this, it seems quite easy to say "get over it". That is simply not possible, especially if there are children involved. These are my friends, my dearest friends, many of whom I have known for more than a decade and yet, have never met.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

September 21, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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September 21, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

This organization has rescued so many men and women who find out that their spouses (sometimes after many years of marriage) are gay. My husband and I had been married for over 30 years and were actually planning our retirement. As our marriage and family life with 3 children had been a happy one, I was dumbfounded. In retrospect, there were signals but they had not been apparent.

When I learned of this organization and began to attend meetings regularly, this was a wonderful source of comfort and inspiration I learned that I was fortunate enough to have a husband who was eager to do what he could to help me in my new life after divorce. Many men and women are not as fortunate.

This is a very caring group of people anxious to do what they can to be helpful - especially the Board Members with whom I was privileged to serve for a term.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

make it easier to raise money to be able to help "Straight Spouses" without adequate insurance pay for counseling. I would also like to make it possible for those without adequate resources pay to attend the yearly gathering in Florida.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

A lot

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Quite well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

November 21, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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1 previous review
June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The ... more

November 21, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

This incredible worldwide Network of peers has saved countless lives, including mine! I've been privileged to be able to play several roles. The one I seem to have played from the start (nine years ago) is Volunteer. And it started at my first "gathering" (groups of Str8s who just meet up to support each other for several days). I walked nervously into an ongoing Board Meeting, and the brilliant founder (who'd seen my writings in the confidential listserv) announced "Carolyn is going to get us Director's insurance." I was dumbfounded. But I did it. Two months later, I was visiting English relatives in London, and another Str8 whom I met only online n that same listserv, called me at the hotel and asked me to join her in representing the Network on the BBC! Since then, I've had the joy of being able to speak out in other fora. For the last four years or so, I've managed the "triage" process -- that is, helping people who write find the closest face to face peer support group or contact. It's absolutely unbelievably heartwarming to hear from these people afterward about how I helped change their lives! And I'm ONLY ONE of hundreds of volunteers doing this every single day of the year, helping thousand of people every year.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The support, and caring, and outreach from this 99% volunteer organization helped me find my true self. I'd been "lost" for decades. The Straight Spouse Network is NOT homophobic, in any way. Nor does it speak against mixed orientation marriages. It merely supports those who find themselves among the invisible minorit work throught to find the best outcome for themselves. And it supports marital unions, so fewer of us will exist in the future!

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

my own life and those of hundreds of others. They start to BREATHE again.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

try even harder to find the money it needs to help more people.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

finding friends! I had been so isolated by my ex-husband, because he was afraid. I was a co-dependent. I am no more!

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

just like me -- of all ages, races, creeds, socio-economic conditions, financial status, etc.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

It doesn't need ten million! It could help thousands of people with $200,000 guaranteed per year!

Ways to make it better...

the invisible minority of straight spouses didn't exist!

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

funding funding and funding!

One thing I'd also say is that...

the Straight Spouse Network needs to get the word out, but can't because it's almost entirely volunteer (like me). As I said, AT LEAST five people a day write in for help. If one assumes that there are 20 people out there fore every five who write in...

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

June 28, 2012

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2 previous reviews - show all
September 7, 2010

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who ... more

June 28, 2012

The Straight Spouse Network helped me so much 12 years ago when I found out my husband was gay. I had immediate help! Someone contacted me immediately once I found this organization. The lifeline of the Straight Spouse Network helped me feel not so alone, It helped me feel sane and helped me get through this crazy mess of being married to a gay spouse. I am indebted to them which is why I am now in the give back mode and now help others in this unique situation.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

September 7, 2010
1 person found this review helpful

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

is that the people I have met are now some of my lifelong friends. My new extended family.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

patient, there at all times for me, compassionate to my situation.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

spread the word on our mission to build bridges wit the LGBT community and to let others know world wide that there is hope nad life after your spouse/partner come out.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

June 30, 2009

The Straight Spose network was a godsend when my husband came out of th closet back in 1999. He first told me he was bisexual..and I looked online for any type of help to explain this situation. We had been married almost 20 years with 2 kids, in West Michigan, where anything gay is most surely closeted. As I surfed the net I came across the Straight Spouse Network. This support group literally saved my life. It is a very safe haven for the str8 spouse...I was able to vent and cry to a wonderful group of people that new exactly what I was feeling and going through. And the help was extended to my children too. The online support is invaluable. The face to face meetings are necessary............and agian, a safe haven to cry and listen and vent.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

all the faces and hearts of the people who came to this community looking for answers and understanding. The compassion, knowledge, and time involved with everyone is just out of this world.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

all the wonderful people I have met who will be part of my extended family for life. We have a great understanding of each other. We " get it". And we are more than happy to help newbies in this situation with open hearts and arms.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

generous with their time, patient, compassionate and loving. And always available! This was/is amazing.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

speak loudly about the str8 spouse, through larger venues for fundraising, maybe bringing in bigger named speakers........allowing board members/( the ones who speak well to the public) to travel to various events to spread the word.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

October 30, 2009

more

October 30, 2009

I was married for twenty one years. It wasn't until the summer of 2002 that I started finding my husbands lifetime secret. He was gay. Shortly after I asked him to leave, a friend of mine saw an article in Dear Abby. It talked about SSN-The Straight Spouse Network. It is an international organization that lends support through the internet and local support groups for spouses that find themselves married to gay people. I joined the group in the Fall of 2002. SSN saved my life. Yet, it did more then that. It gave me lifetime friends across the United States and abroad. Our mission is to reach out, heal and build bridges. That is exactly what we do. They showed me that I was not alone. They took my devastation and created a new future for myself and my children. Through a horrific time, they gave me hope. I wouldn't be who I am today without thier support. Fondly, Ann St. Croix/NY

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

I had a tremedous impact from this group. I talked with numerous woman who had been married to gay men. Some, still are. I became able to hear the voices of men who had been married to lesbians at a time when I thought all men were evil. I have healed.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

Meeting other str8s. Hugs always abound. They gave me a voice to be heard so that others don't continue to walk in our shoes.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

I have met Amity Buxton, the woman who began the network, the Executive Director, The Board of Directors, The Council Members, and numerous volunteers.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

It could reach out to more people. It could provide financial support to people when thier lives fall apart. It could build more bridges.

Ways to make it better...

My husband had chosen to be honest to begin with. He was my best friend. I would not have married him but I would have walked beside him.

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

Financial. We do not have the mechanisms in place to support a group of over 2 million people.

One thing I'd also say is that...

Until this happens to you, you do not comprehend the impact of it. The world you knew explodes in your face. Your sense of self is destroyed. Your entire past becomes questionable. Your trust shatttered.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

One time

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

October 21, 2009

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October 21, 2009

I was married for almost 18 years when my husband finally admitted to me that he was gay. I have stayed married and only recently started divorce proceedings, as I feel that it is in both my husband's and my best interest to move on with our lives. I wish him the best in his new life. SSN has helped me to get through the grief and painful parts of discovering that my husband was gay. I have had support from so many people on the email list and face to face in my local area, as well as at gatherings in other locations. I owe a lot to SSN.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

the personal support that I have received in the email support online. I owe them so much of my sanity.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

the people that I have met, both online and in person. The people of this organization are phenomenal individuals!

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

people who believe in "paying it forward" and giving back to this wonderful organization.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

reach so many more people out there who are hurting and need support.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

July 4, 2009

more

July 4, 2009

I found this organization back in July 2006 after finding out my husband was having a four year affair with the husband of my best friend. I was devastated and didn't know where to turn. I began google searching for any information I could find on the subject of women married to a gay man. I found this website and the support and and sense of community made me feel normal and that I had nothing to do with his actions. It has been over three years now and I am a volunteer working with other spouses in a large metropolitan area. In the beginning they look like deer in the headlights and over time they can even look back and laugh. They begin to re-frame their experience and find their new normal. It is a pleasure to work with such a fine organization.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

the sense of community and un-biased support given and received by it's members.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Find funding to get the word out to all those spouse out there who suffer in silence not knowing they have support in Straight Spouse Network. More marketing I guess.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

The friendships I have made and the sense of peace I have when helping others who have been in this traumatic experience.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

Kind, empathic, supportive, and non-biased. They focused on what was best for me, not what they thought I should do.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

Advertise and get the work out to others who are in need of our services.

Ways to make it better...

I could maneuver the site better.

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

Lack of visibility. There is so much support out there for GLBT who come out but nothing much for the spouses and families they leave in their wake.

One thing I'd also say is that...

Thank you Amity for your valiant efforts to share your experience by writing your book: "The Other Side of the Closet". You are our hero!

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

July 2, 2009

more

July 2, 2009

This organization looks after all those involved in a mixed orientation marriage, those who stay together, those who split up, and works with both the gay and str8 spouses.

More feedback...

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

very caring and compassionate to all the different people who have asked for assistance.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

July 1, 2009

more

July 1, 2009

Straight Spouse Network is great and a lifesaver. I have been helped by great people in my time of need and moved on to live a happy life. I have also met and helped many people through Straight Spouse Netork. It was very therapeutic to me.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

the many people that they have helped.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

they have people everywhere that are there to help anyone that is in need. Everyone becomes a family.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

the greated.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

change the world and make people more aware so that people can be who they want to be and not hide who they are.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2008

June 28, 2009

more

June 28, 2009

I found and joined the Straight Spouse Network the same night my lesbian wife came out to me in October 1999, at that time I was a "client served". Finding this organization was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time. During those "darkest days of my life", the kindness, understanding and support from the other members of SSN proved to be invaluable to me. This organization helped me eventually move past my personal pain to a point where I was able to start helping those that came behind me by becoming a volunteer in 2001. Almost 10 years later, I continue to be involved with and support this outstanding group that showed me that I could live and laugh again.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

the opportunity to serve others by co-hosting the Florida Gathering for the past 9 consecutive years. This annual event is officially sponsored by the Straight Spouse Network and is attended by SSN members from all over the world.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

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