STRAIGHT SPOUSE NETWORK INC
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I found the Straight Spouse Network by accident, while looking at the links on my company's official bi/gay/lesbian website. Until I found that link, I thought I was alone in my dispair of living in a marriage with a man who disclosed he is gay. I stayed closeted for 23 years before finding this group. The people who reached out and helped me from the depths of that dispair will be forever in my heart. I am active on a forum of men who found themselves married to lesbians and women who found themselves married to gay men. I try to give back the support I was given--building bridges and reaching out. I've met folks from the group some in face-to-face events and have developed friendships as a result. Were this organization not in existence, I'm not sure that therapy alone would have helped. Only people who have lived this marriage nightmare can understand the feelings and damage done to our self-esteem and sexuality. SSN is a blessing.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
that I have a non-threatening forum to discuss things related to finding myself in a marriage to a closetd gay man.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
kind-hearted and give much time for little or no reimbursement. These are people who have lived this situation and have a passion for helping others who find they need support to get through the challenges inherent in marriages of this type.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
get more public exposure so that no straight spouse who finds him- or herself in a marriage to a gay person struggles to find emotional support. This organization could perhaps have the same stature as PFLAG and other high-profile gay support organizatio
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
SSN is a unique and important resource for those who straight and are dealing with gay partners. The online forums and discussion groups are invaluable as are the face-to-face meetings and educational materials. SSN makes a huge difference in peoples' lives in this difficult situation.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
how it helped me feel more able to deal with having a gay spouse.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
continue to do what it is doing, with the possible exception of taking a stance on gay marriage.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
the people supporting one another with opennesss and honesty.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
very friendly and helpful.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
raise the awareness of the challenges facing straight spouses, which is a misunderstood and under reported group of people in the GLBT community.
Ways to make it better...
I had found out about it sooner.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
publicity and funding.
One thing I'd also say is that...
there is a lot of focus on gay pride, which is great, however sometimes gays married to straights deceive them for long periods of time and much hurt occurs. SSN helps people begin and continue the healing process.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) provides much-needed support for straight spouses in mixed-orientation marriages. I am married to a gay man who is in deep denial and may never come to terms with his orientation. In coming to my own awareness of this I conducted a great deal of research on the topic. What I found is that there is a vast amount of information and support for the LGBT spouse as they come to terms with and go public with their orientation. Unfortunately, there is little information out there for the straight spouses so severely traumatized by the reality of these marriages...and divorces. SSN has been a tremendously therapeutic and supportive environment for me. All of the members respect the feelings and choices made by each person as they cope with this very difficult situation. No rating would be high enough for the service this group provides.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
So many of it's members have moved on to lead happy lives without the weight of the LGBT holding them back.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
I am not alone in my experience as a straight spouse and there is a group of caring people ready to listen at any time.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
Always objective, supportive and ready to listen.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Inform the public about what people can do for friends and family members with LGBT spouses.
Ways to make it better...
if had found SSN earlier in my marriage.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
the growing number of people effected by this difficult situation.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I am one of the gay spouses giving rise to the need for SSN. Though I have, what I hope, is a wonderful relationship with my now-ex-wife, I know SSN was instrumental in helping her, which helped me, get through a time filled with tremendous guilt and shame. Without her forgiveness, love, friendship, and understanding I probably would not have made it through those very bleak months and years that followed. I cannot say enough about SSN and the work that it does. Gay spouses may not seem the most obvious beneficiaries of its efforts, but I can assure we are. I am grateful she has found a supporting network of friends who can relate to her situation, the pain of which I cannot begin to imagine. Please continue your work. It is vital and it is so much more important than most people will ever truly appreciate.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
the peace I have made with my life and the relationship I enjoy with my ex-wife, who is a member of SSN.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
Increase its visibility and try to make the "closeted" community more aware of its existence.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
Learning other straight spouses who thrive and forgive and who love their gay spouses.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
Other straight spouses, like my ex-wife.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Get its message out to more people.
Ways to make it better...
If I knew about it when I was struggling with coming out.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
A continued stigma faced by both straight and gay spouses and the belief that straight spouses do not need the type of support, care, and understanding they do.
One thing I'd also say is that...
Just that SSN should be fully embraced by the LGBT community. It does great things.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
My husband came out to me just before our 20th anniversary in 1991. I was very isolated geographically as well as mentally for several years thereafter. When I found the Straight Spouse Network at first I was very cautious and lurked on the Str8s website for months. But, gradually, I became confident of the sincerity of their purpose. I knew no one when I attended the Florida Gathering. I found myself with the most helpful and sincere people I had ever met! With a great sense of relief I began to tell other relatives and friends of my situation. Turns out there are probably 2 million folks who had been or are walking in my shoes. It was a turning point in my life. I forgave my separated spouse who has since passed away from an aids related illness. I consider this organization the premier help source for Straight Spouses.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
In the literal saving of lives of many, many people.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
Do nothing different.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
It relieved me of any guilt what-so-ever that I had in some way caused my spouse to become gay. I did not. It was not me. I didn't cause it and I couldn't fix it.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
Were kind and helpful.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Help all the straight spouses in the world.
Ways to make it better...
If I had found SSN years earlier than I did.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
In obtaining enough money to spread the word about SS
One thing I'd also say is that...
Thank God it was there and that I found it.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I was devastated after I found out my husband of 17 years was gay. It never occured to me there were so many others in the same situation until I stumbled across SSN. The shared experiences, friendship and understanding from this online community literally saved my life.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
the eyes of those who finally meet someone who understands exactly what they are going through.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
try to increase visibility so it is easier to find and no one has to go through this trauma on their own.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
meeting the many people in this organization and also in directing others to SSN knowing they will find the help they need to cope with the trauma.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
amazing, kind, loving, understanding, compassionate, funny, wonderful. :)
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
increase visiblity and hire people needed to reach all those who need to find us.
Ways to make it better...
I had found SSN faster.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
Financing to increase visibility.
One thing I'd also say is that...
SSN saved my life and introduced me to people I will forever consider my family.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
What a blessing and a life saver... to have finally found an organization of people who understand the trauma I experienced when after 23 years of marriage, my husband came out to me. I spent several years trapped in my husband's closet with him, and only upon finding the Straight Spouse Network in 2003, was I able to see my way ahead. From others experiences I was able to understand that I was not the only person that this had happened to. From on-line support to face to face meetings, I have met many kindred spirits, many who have become life long friends. I am forever grateful to SSN for helping me. I now try to help others thru face to face meetings and as well as online.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
how it helps people to help themselves
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
figure out how to help even more people.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
meeting other people
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
caring, concerned and dedicated.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
help some many families who experience the trauma of a gay or lesbian spouse
Ways to make it better...
I had only found SSN sooner in my journey.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
raising enough money.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
Straight Spouse Network is a life line for adults of all ages, religious, cultural, racial, and ethnic backgrounds who often by default are suddenly in a life altering crisis which few friends and family can truly comprehend. This is a grass roots organization primarily via email which operates 24/7, 365 days a year to support individuals whose spouse or significant other can no longer stay committed to in a heterosexual relationship. It's complicated for each spouse, for children of spouse, for families. It is a roller coaster ride lasting years with very little help of significance available. I don't know of anyone who found us that did not feel the same way. We are often the invisible people in crisis.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
My own day to day life.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
I would maintain the commitment to the grass roots support via the www before venturing into other area without adequate funding.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
The 24/7 availability via the www and that the support, advice, and encouragement is reality based and non-judgmental.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
committed to their jobs and responsibilities of facilitating the members to connect and provide the type of ongoing healthy and safe support needed to and for each other.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Provide outreach to the millions of others who have been impacted and need help recovering from the experience of a spouse, parent, or adult child coming out of the closet after this person lived part of their adult life as a heterosexual.
Ways to make it better...
There had been more opportunity for personal connections in the area of the country I live.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
Seeing a greater need but not having the financial resources to extend the outreach well.
One thing I'd also say is that...
Unless you have walked this journey it may be impossible to comprehend the depth of the pain, the emotional, financial, and social crisis that is created, last for years for many if not a life time, and for which the future prognosis is so uncertain.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I found and joined the Straight Spouse Network the same night my lesbian wife came out to me in October 1999, at that time I was a "client served". Finding this organization was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time. During those "darkest days of my life", the kindness, understanding and support from the other members of SSN proved to be invaluable to me. This organization helped me eventually move past my personal pain to a point where I was able to start helping those that came behind me by becoming a volunteer in 2001. Almost 10 years later, I continue to be involved with and support this outstanding group that showed me that I could live and laugh again.
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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
the opportunity to serve others by co-hosting the Florida Gathering for the past 9 consecutive years. This annual event is officially sponsored by the Straight Spouse Network and is attended by SSN members from all over the world.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I was devastated when I discovered my new husband wasn't straight. I spent nearly two years thinking I was the only one in the whole world who had ever married a non-straight person. Finally I found the Straight Spouse Network and discovered I am NOT the only one. As a contact person now, I find it disheartening to meet so many new straight spouses as they discover their partners orientation; however, as a straight spouse, I think it is wonderful to be part of a group that listens and understands.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
the daily lives of those who arrive devastated and confused and then find the support they need in order to get their feet on the ground and begin to heal and recover.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
the wonderful people I meet.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
exceptionally caring and understanding.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Reach out to many more people.
Ways to make it better...
I would have found SSN much sooner.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
raising funds and getting publicity.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
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