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137 Reviews
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October 29, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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October 29, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

This organization was there for me when I was at the lowest point in my life. They understood what I was going through and put me in touch with others who shared my experiences. I truly believe they saved my life.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Hellp them reach more people sooner.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

Six years ago my wife had an affair with a woman and announced that she thought our marriage was over. I was devastated. I felt completely alone and confused. Luckily I say a mention on-line of the straight spouse network. I was able to attend a face to face support group and connected with a network of people who understood exactly what i was going through. it is no exaggeration to say that SSN saved my life. Without this community I think the voices in my head urging me to kill myself might have won. SSN got me through the worst period of my life and held my hand while i put my life together in a new and better way.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Make sure every mental health professional in the country was aware of these services.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

October 6, 2013
2 people found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
2 people found this review helpful

Back in 1987, when my ex-husband came out and my marriage ended, I was devastated and humiliated. I didn't know another person in the same boat, and I had nowhere to turn for comfort. No one ever knew the depth of my despair. I helped my therapy clients all day, then came home every night and sobbed. Every night. Those were dark and lonely times.

A couple of years post-divorce, a friend told me about a book called "The Other Side of the Closet" by Amity Buxton. Amity is the Founder of the Straight Spouse Network, on whose Board I proudly serve.

Every year the Straight Spouse Network helps thousands of spouses whose partners come out. We don't have the financial heft, marketing savvy or paid staff of larger organizations, but our work is crucial. I know my journey would have been shorter and faster had I had the support of other folks who have "been there."

As a therapist who now specializes in working with other straight spouses, I refer clients to the Straight Spouse Network regularly for support and information. Discovering other straight spouses and knowing I wasn't alone was a godsend for me, and every day I see it serving the same purpose for others.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Have the financial ability to expand the number of paid staff so as to be able to offer more services.

More feedback...

How does this organization compare with others in the same sector?

Very Well

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you recommend this organization to others?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

I found the Straight Spouse Network in early 2008, and through its meetings, online communications, and advocacy it has helped me immensely. And it has done so by having a reasonable stance on working with the gay partner, which is admirable. Like many in the situation, the transitions are difficult from being with the gay spouse unknowingly, to dealing with it, to recovering so one can move forward. SSN services help thousands of people at all stages, first by knowing they are not alone and then by ongoing support through the organization and the community of others in like circumstances. And it does all that with a very small budget. For those reasons, Straight Spouse Network is a GREAT nonprofit.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Improve the Web site, do more outreach.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

In August 2011 my wife told me our marriage was over after she went to a conference and met a woman there that she had a physical attraction to. Through the weeks and months following my world was turned upside down. Everything I had ever believed about my marriage and who I was in it vanished overnight. Friends, neighbors, relatives, and co-workers didn't understand what I was going through.

When I stumbled across the Straight Spouse Network, everything changed. Stories in my life that seemed unbelievable I saw happening in other people's lives. I was no longer alone in my confusion. Through this support network I met many people that held my hand until I was able to stand on my own again. Through the help and guidance of virtual strangers I started to put my life back together again.

They gave me hope and a promise that life would get better when it seemed over.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

October 6, 2013
3 people found this review helpful

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October 6, 2013
3 people found this review helpful

To suggest that the Straight Spouse Network is a "lifesaver" is not hyperbole. It is a fact. I am living proof. When my former husband of nearly 30 years told me he was gay, I prayed to die in my sleep. I planned ways to kill myself that would appear to be accidental so our children wouldn't blame their father. My life changed in so many ways as a result of my relationship with SSN.

The value of peer support cannot be quantified.
This experience, according to most mental health professionals, is eclipsed only by the death of a child for a parent and spouse. No one, other than those who have lived it/are living it, can fathom the emotional toll this takes on a person.

I have been involved with the group since 1998.
Having a gay spouse is not the end of the world, but I certainly felt that way for a very long time. SSN helped me move through a very difficult process. It is an extremely isolating situation. The fact that someone, some wonderful str8 person, is willing to be on the other side of a screen or the other end of a phone conversation is invaluable. Being able to cry and laugh about the circumstances that arise is so important.

For those who have not been through this, it seems quite easy to say "get over it". That is simply not possible, especially if there are children involved. These are my friends, my dearest friends, many of whom I have known for more than a decade and yet, have never met.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

September 21, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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September 21, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

This organization has rescued so many men and women who find out that their spouses (sometimes after many years of marriage) are gay. My husband and I had been married for over 30 years and were actually planning our retirement. As our marriage and family life with 3 children had been a happy one, I was dumbfounded. In retrospect, there were signals but they had not been apparent.

When I learned of this organization and began to attend meetings regularly, this was a wonderful source of comfort and inspiration I learned that I was fortunate enough to have a husband who was eager to do what he could to help me in my new life after divorce. Many men and women are not as fortunate.

This is a very caring group of people anxious to do what they can to be helpful - especially the Board Members with whom I was privileged to serve for a term.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

make it easier to raise money to be able to help "Straight Spouses" without adequate insurance pay for counseling. I would also like to make it possible for those without adequate resources pay to attend the yearly gathering in Florida.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

A lot

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Quite well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

June 20, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

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June 20, 2013
1 person found this review helpful

This network is a Godsend. It is helped me not drown in my life. I was so overwhelmed when my ex put me through this and I felt like I wanted to run away and never come back. BUT I WAS a MOTHER and I couldn't.

The network gave me a safe place to CRY, YELL, and get the support and NOT the
judgement.

It was what saved my sanity.

Thank you!

Isabel

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

More in person meetings. Opportunities to have workshops with the founder or with counselors to deal with day to day issues of this problem

More feedback...

Will you volunteer or donate to this organization?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2013

November 21, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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1 previous review
June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The ... more

November 21, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

This incredible worldwide Network of peers has saved countless lives, including mine! I've been privileged to be able to play several roles. The one I seem to have played from the start (nine years ago) is Volunteer. And it started at my first "gathering" (groups of Str8s who just meet up to support each other for several days). I walked nervously into an ongoing Board Meeting, and the brilliant founder (who'd seen my writings in the confidential listserv) announced "Carolyn is going to get us Director's insurance." I was dumbfounded. But I did it. Two months later, I was visiting English relatives in London, and another Str8 whom I met only online n that same listserv, called me at the hotel and asked me to join her in representing the Network on the BBC! Since then, I've had the joy of being able to speak out in other fora. For the last four years or so, I've managed the "triage" process -- that is, helping people who write find the closest face to face peer support group or contact. It's absolutely unbelievably heartwarming to hear from these people afterward about how I helped change their lives! And I'm ONLY ONE of hundreds of volunteers doing this every single day of the year, helping thousand of people every year.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The support, and caring, and outreach from this 99% volunteer organization helped me find my true self. I'd been "lost" for decades. The Straight Spouse Network is NOT homophobic, in any way. Nor does it speak against mixed orientation marriages. It merely supports those who find themselves among the invisible minorit work throught to find the best outcome for themselves. And it supports marital unions, so fewer of us will exist in the future!

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

my own life and those of hundreds of others. They start to BREATHE again.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

try even harder to find the money it needs to help more people.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

finding friends! I had been so isolated by my ex-husband, because he was afraid. I was a co-dependent. I am no more!

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

just like me -- of all ages, races, creeds, socio-economic conditions, financial status, etc.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

It doesn't need ten million! It could help thousands of people with $200,000 guaranteed per year!

Ways to make it better...

the invisible minority of straight spouses didn't exist!

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

funding funding and funding!

One thing I'd also say is that...

the Straight Spouse Network needs to get the word out, but can't because it's almost entirely volunteer (like me). As I said, AT LEAST five people a day write in for help. If one assumes that there are 20 people out there fore every five who write in...

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

November 20, 2012

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November 20, 2012

After 20+ years of marriage and 3 children my husband told me he was gay. It was totally unexpected and I didn't have a clue. I was sure I was the only one who had ever experienced such a situation. SSN volunteers assured me I was not alone and that I would get through this. Three and an half years later, I am happy to say they were right....but back in the dark days that followed disclosure I was paralized with fear, sadness and shame. Had it not been for the online resources and face to face meetings I don't think I would have found the bright future that was ahead of me. I will forever be thankful to this organization and its members for their support and encouragement.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

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