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112 Reviews
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June 6, 2012

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June 6, 2012

The Straight Spouse network helped me with support and encouragement at a time in my life when every thing was falling apart around me. My spouse had just told me he was gay and had been having affairs with men. My world spiraled out of control and I was on the verge of ending it all, and then I entered Straight spouse in a search engine. I found out I was no longer alone. This group provides hope, understanding and educates on all levels. They have saved many lives.

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization beyond what is required of board members?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you tell others about this organization?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 6, 2012

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June 6, 2012

I discovered my now-ex husband was/is gay after nearly 32 years of marriage! You can imagine what a shock it was. It took me nearly four months to find the Straight Spouse Network (in 2002) and I have been very actively involved since then -- as a volunteer, Board member, (volunteer) Staff Member, speaker to media (TV, newspapers, radio, magazines, and an upcoming documentary). Without this group, I feel as if I would have just curled up and died. I've seen hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of str8 spouses slowly but surely go from abject despair to comtemplating a future in which there might be job. Oh, please support this extraordinary VOLUNTEER organization!

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization beyond what is required of board members?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you tell others about this organization?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 5, 2012

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June 5, 2012

They saved my life. No one else "got" it. They literally saved my life.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2002

May 24, 2011

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1 previous review
October 5, 2009

I found this organization when my husband was finally admitting to himself that he was gay (after 35 years of marriage). I had wondered for all those years what I was doing wrong (because my marriage... more

May 24, 2011

When I first found out that my husband was interested in other men, I didn't know where to turn. The Straight Spouse Network served those needs for me and serves those needs for people like me, whose world has been torn apart. I am a "client served", and now I serve others who are going through the same thing. We support the people in the group and help them get through the emotionally, and financially difficult process, as we were helped when we first joined the group. And we are models of the truth that "there is life and happiness afterward", even though it doesn't appear that way to people who are new.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

The organization was really valuable in helping me deal with the emotional impact of my husband coming out. There are no other organizations like this in the country. "Dear Abby" just recommended this organization to a woman who found out that he husband has been having gay affairs throughout their marriage.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

If I had a lot of money, I would donate more than I do, so that they had more money for outreach and publicity as well as face to face meetings.

October 5, 2009

I found this organization when my husband was finally admitting to himself that he was gay (after 35 years of marriage). I had wondered for all those years what I was doing wrong (because my marriage was not what I expected marriage to be). I found the support to be wonderful. FINALLY people who understood what I was going through and how devastating this situation was for me. My whole world was turned upside down. The monthly face to face group gave me great support and the e-mail list is full of caring people. I can't say enough about this organization!

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

face to face groups and e-mail lists.

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What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

the understanding and acceptance I have gotten from everyone with whom I have come into contact

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

fabulous

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

have more face to face groups, get more publicity so that people could find them faster and so that the public could understand what devastation the straight spouse goes through, and they could hire more staff to get things done.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

September 7, 2010

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September 7, 2010

It sincerely saddens me to see even one negative review about this organization. The Straight Spouse Network was literally the ONLY place I had to turn to when I found out my ex-husband was gay in 1998. Imagine, I was a young mother with four children all under the age of 8. I had been out of the workforce for 8 years and was totally isolated. Discovering my husband was gay was devastating. The Other Side of the Closet was a book that saved me. I am sorry if I don't quote this completely accurately, but "when one spouse comes out of the closet, the other spouse goes in." This was the case for me. I remember the night I went online in hopes that there had to be someone else out there that was going through the same thing that I was. I found the Straight Spouse Support Network, signed up for their group and made great friends and finally was able to connect to people who understood what I was feeling. The anger, confusion, fear of what was to come.... picking myself up and helping my children adjust to their new family dynamics. I seriously have the ex-husband from hell but NEVER once in this group was that attributed to the fact that he was a gay man. His being a closeted gay man is what broke up our marriage. His actions afterwards had nothing to do with that. As a mother of a gay son, a survivor of a marriage based on a lie...... I don't know what I would have done without this group.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

learning to move on and helping others do the same.

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How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

September 7, 2010

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September 7, 2010

Without a doubt The Straight Spouse Network, and the amazing people I've met there, have kept me going at a time in my life when I thought I could not go on. I can't express how important it is just knowing that there are others out there in my situation; that I'm not alone, and that I don't have to live in someone else's closet out of shame or guilt that I somehow caused my spouse's sexual identity issues. There seems to be so little support for the straight spouse in this situation; it's as if the gay/bi spouse is the only one who's considered courageous for coming out, while we're often thought of as the obstacle that had to be overcome. We lived THEIR lie, not the other way around. I hope and pray that this incredible organization continues to be there for those of us who need it...and there's a lot more of us out there than many care to admit. -Steve S. in NJ

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

Online message boards and face to face meetings in my area.

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How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

September 7, 2010

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September 7, 2010

The Straight Spouse Network offered me a life line when no one else was around who understood what I was dealling with. My husband of 23 years told me he was gay and also HIV+. The people in the group offered me support and real advice for my seemingly unreal situation.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

learning I was no alone in my situation.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Like to see it grow larger so it could reach more people in need.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

The ability to meet others who were in the same situation.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

helpful and knowledgable

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

reach and help so many others in our situtuation by educating people about our experiences.

Ways to make it better...

The organization has mnore funding to reach more people in crisis.

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

Lack of funding.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

September 6, 2010

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September 6, 2010

After my husband came out after 25 years of marriage, I was stunned and felt totally alone, facing an unresolvable challenge. Fortunately, I found a San Francisco support group where I met other wives whose husbands had come out as gay or bisexual and, surprise! they were all normal, attractive, intelligent women. My husband's being gay had nothing to do with me! Slowly, with the help of the group and reading,I put together a more coherent and strong identity, integrity and belief system. This lifesaving experience motivated me to found the Straight Spouse Network in 1991 so that every straight wife or husband worldwide could find support and help to reconfigure their true selves, with or without their partners. Since then, watching suicidal spouses slowly regain their inner core only because other spouses were there to connect them with help keeps reminding me why SSN exists and why it must be kept alive and well. Volunteers do most of the work, yes, but a core staff is needed to coordinate its triage, support services, educational publications, and PR.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

my own personal and professional growth

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

find them more grant money to maintain a steady number of staff hours

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

Personal and professional growth for myself as I've worked in the organization gratification from seeing constituents grow, learn, and resolve the incredible challenges faced after their husbands or wives come out gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

supportive, open, kind...and informative. neither pressuring or biased.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

Expand web site content Implement training program for support group facilitators and state/country contacts; Expand PR program to raise the visibility of straight spouses and their post-disclosure issues and awareness of Straight Spouse Network services

Ways to make it better...

SSN had existed when my husband came out

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

Lack of public awareness that straight spouses exist or have unique problems and lack of funds for maintaining a minimal staff to coordinate its worldwide services for straight spouses and mixed-orientation or transgender/nontransgender couples.

One thing I'd also say is that...

Straight Spouse Network is a unique service for women and men whose post-disclosure needs are usually overlooked by outsiders including professionals. Potential constituents: up to 2,000,000 are or have been in these marriages,whether or not they know it

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

September 5, 2010

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September 5, 2010

In 1979(!) my ex began to face worsening depression. Over the course of the next four years he slowly recognized that his depression had sprung out of the fact that the homophobic world in which he grew up had pushed him to deny that he was gay ... and to feel extremely guilty about the occasional feelings of attraction toward men that cropped up. We separated because he needed to be honest about his identity and his relationships. He could not continue living a lie. Meaning, of course, that our marriage had been a lie. My sense of reality crumbled. I put up a good fight against devastation by plunging into all sorts of activities that affirmed life. I still could not break through the isolation that resulted from the fact that NO ONE really understood why or how our separation differed from any other divorce. I finally sank into profound depression. In the earliest years of the Straight Spouse Network, I talked with a member of this organization who simply "got it" and affirmed that there was a unique kind of betrayal that typically shatters (or at least undermines) parts of the Straight Spouse's world view. That conversation was a breakthrough on the path to healing. I quickly determined that I would do what I could to ensure that others might hear the words affirming that they are not alone ... and that the issues are not about THEM, or because of them, but stem from the very identity of their spouse. and I cannot count the number of people who have told me that they might not have made it without the support of the Straight Spouse Network

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

my own healing and watching countless others move from despair toward thriving

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How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

December 27, 2009

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December 27, 2009

My former husband was abusive throughout the marriage. After I left him, this network provided him support again me. There are at least 2 sides to every story. My side was not allowed to be told.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Offer support to both people in the relationship, not just one person.

More feedback...

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

provide support to the other person in the relationship

Ways to make it better...

If I were allowed to tell my side of the story.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About once a year

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

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