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112 Reviews
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June 29, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

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June 29, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

During the period of my life that was far and away the most shocking, devastating, confused and confusing, and excruciatingly painful, the Straight Spouse Network unquestionably saved my life. I had become disabled two years before my husband's stunning disclosure just weeks before our 30th wedding anniversary. He turned completely cold on me, blaming me for everything wrong with his life, telling me he'd never loved me, didn't know why he married me, always had to think of men when trying to have sex with me. In several months of lashing out, he destroyed my present and so much of my past. We'd known each other through both church and school since 6th grade, and our lives were deeply enmeshed in each others. But in a blast of epic proportion, he stripped all the meaning from those decades. Because of my illness, it too me five months, with him getting tenser and angrier all the time, to find a place to live and move out. Physically and emotionally crushed, I moved in with friends who let me be sick and crazy while they welcomed me into their family with love and caring. And it was in that time that I found the Straight Spouse Network. When I began to meet people who had been through -- and were still going through -- what I was, I cried with relief. So many caring people reached out and brought me into a circle where what I was experiencing was truly truly understood. Experiences were so similar that I no longer felt so crazy. I could talk about incredibly personal and sensitive issues safely. And I was constantly re-assured that I WOULD make it through. At meetings, in chatrooms, and at the amazing regional gatherings of straight spouses, we've all shared, supported, cried, laughed, hugged and actually have fun again! Now, fifteen years later, I'm still not where I hoped I would be. My health has worsened, largely because of loss of medical care resulting from my husband's inability to meet the financial terms of our separation agreement. And yet, I am deeply blessed by good friends, the wonderful community in which I live, my son, his wife and my two grandchildren living nearby, and the knowledge that the Straight Spouse family is always there. I was blessed for a few years to be able to volunteers as a "first call" person -- one whom people who had just discovered their spouse was gay could call and find solace and a buffer against the horrible shock they were in. In an era highly focused on gay rights, being a straight spouse is very difficult. It is we who wind up in the closet. I've truly never been homophobic, which made my husband's total rejection of me even harder to bear. I want gay rights. I want an open and non-judgmental society where people can partner with those they truly love, regardless of sex. But sadly, I suspect there will still be a need for the Straight Spouse Network for some time to come. And all of us -- straight spouses, gay spouses seeking help for their straight partners, the LGBTQ community now actively working with the Straight Spouse Network for the benefit of everyone -- are blessed for that.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

having it be the core source of support, information and caring for me as I workd through the trauma and grief.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Find a way to get more help with raising operating funds!

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2011

How did you find this group?

Online, after learning about Amity Pierce Buxton's book "The Other Side of the Closet."

What, if any, change in your life has this group encouraged?

Not blaming myself for what happened, and accepting that it was not about me and I'm still a whole person.

June 28, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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June 28, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

They have been very supportive of my experience, and explained to me certain behaviors of people coming out, they helped staying afloat on this hard times

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization?

Likely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

A lot

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 28, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

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June 28, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

I found this wonderful group online after my husband and I separated. My husband came out after 9 years of marriage. We stayed together for another 6. I was a complete basket case. I thought I was the only one that had a husband who had lied to her throughout their entire marriage. A marriage that I thought had been built on trust. To find out that there were other women who were in the same boat as myself gave me the strength to get up every morning and fight for that day. To understand that it was not my fault and that I had to be strong for my daughter who had no idea what was happening. I am thankful each day for this group and would not have become the confident person I am today if it had not been for them.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Quite well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 28, 2012

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1 previous review
June 30, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved my life. Four years ago, I found out that my husband of 21 years was having an affair--with another married man. We had three children between the ages of 8-20. It... more

June 28, 2012

Without the help and support I received from SSN, I would not have survived finding out that my husband of 21 yrs was having an affair with another married man. This group gave my support I needed to get my family through a very difficult time. Knowing I was not alone in this situation made all of the difference in the world.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 30, 2009
1 person found this review helpful

The Straight Spouse Network saved my life. Four years ago, I found out that my husband of 21 years was having an affair--with another married man. We had three children between the ages of 8-20. It was a devastating time in my life, and without the support of this group, I don't know if I would have made it through. Members of the group supported me through email, phone calls and f2f meetings. I learned that I wasn't alone in this situation and saw how others have coped with the same problem and been able to move on with their lives.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

so many areas of my life.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

try to find a celebrity spokesperson to champion the cause and promote awareness.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

that I am not alone in this struggle; I have learned from the experiences of others and have met some wonderful, caring people who have enriched my life.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

amazing people who understood what I was going through.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

promote awareness of the terrible cost of society's negative attitude toward homosexuals--gay men and women who marry because they feel they must conform to society's standards.

Ways to make it better...

there was a f2f group that met regularly in my area.

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

lack of awareness and funding.

One thing I'd also say is that...

SSN literally saved my life. I was in so much pain after my husband and I separated, really didn't know if I was going to be able to go on living.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

June 28, 2012

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2 previous reviews - show all
September 7, 2010

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who ... more

June 28, 2012

The Straight Spouse Network helped me so much 12 years ago when I found out my husband was gay. I had immediate help! Someone contacted me immediately once I found this organization. The lifeline of the Straight Spouse Network helped me feel not so alone, It helped me feel sane and helped me get through this crazy mess of being married to a gay spouse. I am indebted to them which is why I am now in the give back mode and now help others in this unique situation.

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Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

September 7, 2010
1 person found this review helpful

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

is that the people I have met are now some of my lifelong friends. My new extended family.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

patient, there at all times for me, compassionate to my situation.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

spread the word on our mission to build bridges wit the LGBT community and to let others know world wide that there is hope nad life after your spouse/partner come out.

How frequently have you been involved with the organization?

About every week

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

June 30, 2009

The Straight Spose network was a godsend when my husband came out of th closet back in 1999. He first told me he was bisexual..and I looked online for any type of help to explain this situation. We had been married almost 20 years with 2 kids, in West Michigan, where anything gay is most surely closeted. As I surfed the net I came across the Straight Spouse Network. This support group literally saved my life. It is a very safe haven for the str8 spouse...I was able to vent and cry to a wonderful group of people that new exactly what I was feeling and going through. And the help was extended to my children too. The online support is invaluable. The face to face meetings are necessary............and agian, a safe haven to cry and listen and vent.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

all the faces and hearts of the people who came to this community looking for answers and understanding. The compassion, knowledge, and time involved with everyone is just out of this world.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

all the wonderful people I have met who will be part of my extended family for life. We have a great understanding of each other. We " get it". And we are more than happy to help newbies in this situation with open hearts and arms.

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

generous with their time, patient, compassionate and loving. And always available! This was/is amazing.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

speak loudly about the str8 spouse, through larger venues for fundraising, maybe bringing in bigger named speakers........allowing board members/( the ones who speak well to the public) to travel to various events to spread the word.

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

June 27, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

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June 27, 2012
2 people found this review helpful

The straight spouse network really helped me during a difficult time. My husband had told me he was gay and that our marriage was over. I had so many thoughts, feelings, questions, and I wanted to talk to someone who had been in that same situation. Straight Spouse Network helped me connect with other people, provided great resources and links, and helped provide me with support during that difficult time. Now, I am a volunteer contact and if someone in my area needs someone to talk to about this surreal experience, i can connect with them and take them out for coffee and provide a friendly ear to listen. They can talk freely with someone who has been there before, without shame, and without worrying about outing their partner or having other people ask, " how could you not know."

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

A lot

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 20, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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June 20, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

I'm the Founder of the Straight Spouse Network, (1991), yet my hearing the pain expressed by the 1000's of spouses who have entered our worldwide network of "safe" places to talk about their devastated spirits and self worth and the trauma that comes from the shattering of belief system -- this experience keeps giving back to me and keeps me continue to do research and writing so that more people will understand "our" crisis and , in turn, realize that we are the unintended victims of the same pro-straight/antigay societal expectations that caused our LGBT spouses marry us in the first place. Our LGBT spouses struggled and we struggled with the impact of their finally feeling strong enough to come out of their closets. Most of us divorce, so we as well as they and our kids suffer. With this understanding, many straight spouses in the Network believe that the legalization of same-sex marriage will lead to a strengthening (not a weakening) of the institution of marriage.Thanks to Straight Spouse Network support and education network, these bridges of understanding have been built and many more are in construction.

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization beyond what is required of board members?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you tell others about this organization?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 19, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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June 19, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

I have gone through my share of challenges, difficulties, roadblocks and disappointments in my life. And I have weathered them all successfully. But none of those adverse situations can come close to the pain and anguish which descended on me when my husband of 29 years told me that he is gay. The Straight Spouse Network was my lifeline when I lost all sense of direction in my life. I found people who understood my situation--people who helped me re-learn how to trust, to put one foot in front of the other, to build new dreams and to forge a new and healthier life. In the world of those whose lives are impacted by the LGBTQ experience, the straight spouses who are left alone when the closet door opens often have a hard time finding support or anyone who understands what they are going through. The Straight Spouse Network does an amazing job of reaching out and offering real help at an unreal time. Through a network of volunteer responders throughout the United States and in several foreign countries they offer the understanding and the words of hope that empower people to move through the journey of forgiving, rebuilding and reclaiming life. All services are offered for free, but not without cost. Keeping a website up and running, preparing resources, doing triage, training support leaders, fundraising--all this and more are done on a very limited budget. Please endorse Straight Spouse Network and help give energy to the work of rekindling hope, trust and new dreams.

More feedback...

Will you volunteer or donate to this organization beyond what is required of board members?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you tell others about this organization?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 6, 2012

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June 6, 2012

This Organization gave me a sense of order and a community after my husband of 22 years admitted to having an affair with man. My life, and the lives of my children, were turned upside down in the space of 1 hour. SSN helped me with the support of others who have gone through the same.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 6, 2012

more

June 6, 2012

SSN helped me through the process of "dealing" with my husband of 12 years who told me he was gay and had been having an affair with another married man for more than a year. The support and encouragement from SSN members has been invaluable. I am still on my journey to healing from my situation, and I rely on SSN daily for strength and endurance to walk this journey.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

A lot

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

How did you find this group?

Google search

What, if any, change in your life has this group encouraged?

Constant encouragement by sharing with individuals in similar situations.

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