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Carolyn - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Carolyn

November 21, 2012

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1 previous review
June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The ... more

November 21, 2012

This incredible worldwide Network of peers has saved countless lives, including mine! I've been privileged to be able to play several roles. The one I seem to have played from the start (nine years ago) is Volunteer. And it started at my first "gathering" (groups of Str8s who just meet up to support each other for several days). I walked nervously into an ongoing Board Meeting, and the brilliant founder (who'd seen my writings in the confidential listserv) announced "Carolyn is going to get us Director's insurance." I was dumbfounded. But I did it. Two months later, I was visiting English relatives in London, and another Str8 whom I met only online n that same listserv, called me at the hotel and asked me to join her in representing the Network on the BBC! Since then, I've had the joy of being able to speak out in other fora. For the last four years or so, I've managed the "triage" process -- that is, helping people who write find the closest face to face peer support group or contact. It's absolutely unbelievably heartwarming to hear from these people afterward about how I helped change their lives! And I'm ONLY ONE of hundreds of volunteers doing this every single day of the year, helping thousand of people every year.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 17, 2009

The Straight Spouse Network saved what's left of my sanity! I found it in 2002, after my now ex husband of nearly 32 years disclosed he was gay. I was totally lost, and had no-one to talk to. The support, and caring, and outreach from this 99% volunteer organization helped me find my true self. I'd been "lost" for decades. The Straight Spouse Network is NOT homophobic, in any way. Nor does it speak against mixed orientation marriages. It merely supports those who find themselves among the invisible minorit work throught to find the best outcome for themselves. And it supports marital unions, so fewer of us will exist in the future!

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

my own life and those of hundreds of others. They start to BREATHE again.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

try even harder to find the money it needs to help more people.

More feedback...

What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...

finding friends! I had been so isolated by my ex-husband, because he was afraid. I was a co-dependent. I am no more!

The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...

just like me -- of all ages, races, creeds, socio-economic conditions, financial status, etc.

If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...

It doesn't need ten million! It could help thousands of people with $200,000 guaranteed per year!

Ways to make it better...

the invisible minority of straight spouses didn't exist!

In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...

funding funding and funding!

One thing I'd also say is that...

the Straight Spouse Network needs to get the word out, but can't because it's almost entirely volunteer (like me). As I said, AT LEAST five people a day write in for help. If one assumes that there are 20 people out there fore every five who write in...

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2009

Betsy R - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Betsy R

November 20, 2012

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November 20, 2012

After 20+ years of marriage and 3 children my husband told me he was gay. It was totally unexpected and I didn't have a clue. I was sure I was the only one who had ever experienced such a situation. SSN volunteers assured me I was not alone and that I would get through this. Three and an half years later, I am happy to say they were right....but back in the dark days that followed disclosure I was paralized with fear, sadness and shame. Had it not been for the online resources and face to face meetings I don't think I would have found the bright future that was ahead of me. I will forever be thankful to this organization and its members for their support and encouragement.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

Wsrobins - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Wsrobins

November 20, 2012

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November 20, 2012

When my wife came out after 30 years of marriage SSN and it's volunteer were there. Without them, I would not be writing ths to you. They didn't change my life, they saved it!

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2000

Helen12 - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Helen12

October 16, 2012

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1 previous review
June 5, 2012

ll years ago, my husband dealt me a blow after our marriage of 30 years. He told me that he was gay. We had had a happy, busy life with 3 children, two of whom had graduated from college and one who... more

October 16, 2012

When my husband came out of the closet, this organization helped me enormously. I had no idea that other women and men had had this experience. I had been married for 30 years and had 3 children. In the Straight Spouse Network, I met many, many people who had had the same experience but in many cases, were far worse off than I. My husband had the courage to tell me the truth but many men and women hide their orientation and its their spouses who find out the truth very painfully. What the organization does is to refer the caller to the leader of a Face to Face group or to somebody else who lives in the same state or as near as possible so that the person has someone to talk to and in many cases, a group with which they can meet and talk.

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization beyond what is required of board members?

Definitely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Life-changing

Will you tell others about this organization?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

June 5, 2012

ll years ago, my husband dealt me a blow after our marriage of 30 years. He told me that he was gay. We had had a happy, busy life with 3 children, two of whom had graduated from college and one who had almost finished. I had retired the year before and had been looking forward to having a wonderful retirement possibly lasting another 30 years or so with my husband. Fortunately, my sister-in-law, a pychiatric social worker had learned about the Straight Spouse Network through a colleague and when I was ready to do so, I contacted them through their website. I don't know what I would have done without them! The leader of my local Face to Face group called me that evening and invited me to the next meeting at her house. Since then, I have been connected with the organization and it really was my salvation. There is enormous comfort in finding out that you are not the only person who has been betrayed in this manner. I also found out very quickly that I was one of the fortunate straight spouses whose spouse was generous in our divorce settlement. There are many in our organization who have a constant battle with former spouses who refuse to pay child support and alimony. It is also very lonely for men and women who are used to having a companion, especially when there are children of any age in the house to realize how alone they are and sometimes, they are teticent about sharing such intimate information with others. Even if there are family members around, they are sometimes not ready to hear and can be quite hostile. What is really helpful are the list-servs and the many volunteers who mentor others. There are always plenty who are ready to listen and to sympathize.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

Ammie - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Ammie

July 16, 2012

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July 16, 2012

This organization allowed my ex-husband to out me as gay which was very hurtful. I am NOT gay. I am bisexual. I left my ex-husband because he was abusive. Outting me as gay is a continuation of this abuse after the marriage has legally ended. I did attempt to contact this organization but have not received a reply.

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization?

Unlikely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

Some

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2010

ags97 - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

ags97

July 9, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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July 9, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

I thank god every day for the Straight Spouse Support Network. During the most frightening and horrific days of my life I received the support and encouragement of others who had walked this difficult journey. I truly hope that one day there is no need for the Straight Spouse Support Network because all sexualities are accepted and embraced but until that day comes along, SSSN needs to be in existence. It is a lifeline to those of us who have discovered our spouse is gay and cried the tears that only other straight spouses can completely understand.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

terr - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

terr

July 3, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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July 3, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

My story is similar to everyone on the SSN Facebook page- we all married the same person. The controlling narcisst who manipulates and controls and leads you to believe your loved- in every other way except the way a husband should love a wife.14 years of marriage this month- 17 years together - one child and less than 10 moments of sexual relations. The story is more indepth with twists and turns and one day once I am through this divorce - can save the roof over my head - I too will write a book - I need to be victorious in my journey 1st however so that my story can help others find success in their lives after dealing with such a bad deck of cards for so long. SSN has helped me tremendously and I believe will grow due to the epidemic our world is going through from this perspective.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

albany - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

albany

July 3, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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July 3, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

When my wife came out as gay after 32 years of marriage I was completely devastated. I found the Straight Spouse Network and found out i wasn't alone. In these situations most of the attention, whether positive or negative, tends to be focused on the person who come out. The other side of the closet is usually ignored. That's why it was so important to find others who understood and could help me to take care of myself. This organization literally saved my life.

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How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2011

LymeLady - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

LymeLady

June 29, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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June 29, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

During the period of my life that was far and away the most shocking, devastating, confused and confusing, and excruciatingly painful, the Straight Spouse Network unquestionably saved my life. I had become disabled two years before my husband's stunning disclosure just weeks before our 30th wedding anniversary. He turned completely cold on me, blaming me for everything wrong with his life, telling me he'd never loved me, didn't know why he married me, always had to think of men when trying to have sex with me. In several months of lashing out, he destroyed my present and so much of my past. We'd known each other through both church and school since 6th grade, and our lives were deeply enmeshed in each others. But in a blast of epic proportion, he stripped all the meaning from those decades. Because of my illness, it too me five months, with him getting tenser and angrier all the time, to find a place to live and move out. Physically and emotionally crushed, I moved in with friends who let me be sick and crazy while they welcomed me into their family with love and caring. And it was in that time that I found the Straight Spouse Network. When I began to meet people who had been through -- and were still going through -- what I was, I cried with relief. So many caring people reached out and brought me into a circle where what I was experiencing was truly truly understood. Experiences were so similar that I no longer felt so crazy. I could talk about incredibly personal and sensitive issues safely. And I was constantly re-assured that I WOULD make it through. At meetings, in chatrooms, and at the amazing regional gatherings of straight spouses, we've all shared, supported, cried, laughed, hugged and actually have fun again! Now, fifteen years later, I'm still not where I hoped I would be. My health has worsened, largely because of loss of medical care resulting from my husband's inability to meet the financial terms of our separation agreement. And yet, I am deeply blessed by good friends, the wonderful community in which I live, my son, his wife and my two grandchildren living nearby, and the knowledge that the Straight Spouse family is always there. I was blessed for a few years to be able to volunteers as a "first call" person -- one whom people who had just discovered their spouse was gay could call and find solace and a buffer against the horrible shock they were in. In an era highly focused on gay rights, being a straight spouse is very difficult. It is we who wind up in the closet. I've truly never been homophobic, which made my husband's total rejection of me even harder to bear. I want gay rights. I want an open and non-judgmental society where people can partner with those they truly love, regardless of sex. But sadly, I suspect there will still be a need for the Straight Spouse Network for some time to come. And all of us -- straight spouses, gay spouses seeking help for their straight partners, the LGBTQ community now actively working with the Straight Spouse Network for the benefit of everyone -- are blessed for that.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

having it be the core source of support, information and caring for me as I workd through the trauma and grief.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

Find a way to get more help with raising operating funds!

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2011

How did you find this group?

Online, after learning about Amity Pierce Buxton's book "The Other Side of the Closet."

What, if any, change in your life has this group encouraged?

Not blaming myself for what happened, and accepting that it was not about me and I'm still a whole person.

Ironbird - charity reviews, charity ratings, best charities, best nonprofits, search nonprofits

Ironbird

June 28, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

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June 28, 2012
1 person found this review helpful

They have been very supportive of my experience, and explained to me certain behaviors of people coming out, they helped staying afloat on this hard times

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Will you volunteer or donate to this organization?

Likely

How much of an impact do you think this organization has?

A lot

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2012

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