STRAIGHT SPOUSE NETWORK INC
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I was a General Member of the Public & Felt powerless and depressed.
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My former husband was abusive throughout the marriage. After I left him, this network provided him support again me. There are at least 2 sides to every story. My side was not allowed to be told.
The Great!
- If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could... provide support to the other person in the relationship
Ways to make it better!
- My experience would have been better if... If I were allowed to tell my side of the story.
- If I ran this organization, I would... Offer support to both people in the relationship, not just one person.
I was a Volunteer & I am on the Council for Straight Spouse Network
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I was married for twenty one years. It wasn't until the summer of 2002 that I started finding my husbands lifetime secret. He was gay. Shortly after I asked him to leave, a friend of mine saw an article in Dear Abby. It talked about SSN-The Straight Spouse Network. It is an international organization that lends support through the internet and local support groups for spouses that find themselves married to gay people. I joined the group in the Fall of 2002. SSN saved my life. Yet, it did more then that. It gave me lifetime friends across the United States and abroad.
Our mission is to reach out, heal and build bridges. That is exactly what we do. They showed me that I was not alone. They took my devastation and created a new future for myself and my children. Through a horrific time, they gave me hope. I wouldn't be who I am today without thier support.
Fondly, Ann St. Croix/NY
The Great!
- I've seen the results of this organization in... I had a tremedous impact from this group. I talked with numerous woman who had been married to gay men. Some, still are. I became able to hear the voices of men who had been married to lesbians at a time when I thought all men were evil. I have healed.
- What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is... Meeting other str8s. Hugs always abound. They gave me a voice to be heard so that others don't continue to walk in our shoes.
- The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were... I have met Amity Buxton, the woman who began the network, the Executive Director, The Board of Directors, The Council Members, and numerous volunteers.
- If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could... It could reach out to more people. It could provide financial support to people when thier lives fall apart. It could build more bridges.
Ways to make it better!
- My experience would have been better if... My husband had chosen to be honest to begin with. He was my best friend. I would not have married him but I would have walked beside him.
- In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are... Financial. We do not have the mechanisms in place to support a group of over 2 million people.
- One thing I'd also say is that... Until this happens to you, you do not comprehend the impact of it. The world you knew explodes in your face. Your sense of self is destroyed. Your entire past becomes questionable. Your trust shatttered.
I was a Volunteer & I was a client served by this organization. I have become more and more involved, now serving as a contact for people in my area. I also donate frequently to the organization.
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I was married for almost 18 years when my husband finally admitted to me that he was gay. I have stayed married and only recently started divorce proceedings, as I feel that it is in both my husband's and my best interest to move on with our lives. I wish him the best in his new life. SSN has helped me to get through the grief and painful parts of discovering that my husband was gay. I have had support from so many people on the email list and face to face in my local area, as well as at gatherings in other locations. I owe a lot to SSN.
The Great!
- I've seen the results of this organization in... the personal support that I have received in the email support online. I owe them so much of my sanity.
- What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is... the people that I have met, both online and in person. The people of this organization are phenomenal individuals!
- The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were... people who believe in "paying it forward" and giving back to this wonderful organization.
- If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could... reach so many more people out there who are hurting and need support.
Ways to make it better!
- In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are... funding to sustain it's mission and focus.
- One thing I'd also say is that... anyone who has been helped by this organization should consider paying it forward by either donating their time, money, energy or whatever they can give to help this organization survive.
I was a Client Served & I belong to the monthly face to face group and I am on the e-mail list
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I found this organization when my husband was finally admitting to himself that he was gay (after 35 years of marriage). I had wondered for all those years what I was doing wrong (because my marriage was not what I expected marriage to be).
I found the support to be wonderful. FINALLY people who understood what I was going through and how devastating this situation was for me. My whole world was turned upside down. The monthly face to face group gave me great support and the e-mail list is full of caring people. I can't say enough about this organization!
The Great!
- I've seen the results of this organization in... face to face groups and e-mail lists.
- What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is... the understanding and acceptance I have gotten from everyone with whom I have come into contact
- The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were... fabulous
- If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could... have more face to face groups, get more publicity so that people could find them faster and so that the public could understand what devastation the straight spouse goes through, and they could hire more staff to get things done.
Ways to make it better!
- In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are... lack of enough funds to do the work they want to do.
I was a General Member of the Public & I read the posted information, and used the links to other resources
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After too many dead-end phone calls to 24 hour support and crisis centers, and extensive internet research, I was finally able to find a calming supportive source of quality information. I was literally told that because I was not gay, I could not receive any support from the call centers. Support for straight spouses is sorely lacking, and the upheaval of such individual's lives deserves support, and good guidance just as much as the person coming out of the closet.
It would be very helpful to have a 24 hour phone line available for emotional support for straight spouses. Thank you for all that you are doing. Just reading the information on the website is helping me cope, at a time when I feel totally isolated from my family and friends.
The Great!
- I've seen the results of this organization in... the high quality, range and depth of the information and resources presented.
- If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could... add a 24/7 crisis call center
Ways to make it better!
- If I ran this organization, I would... add a 24/7 crisis call center
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I would point out that the Straight Spouse Network DOES have affiliated groups that support both spouses and/or the non-straight spouse. However we are unique in that, unlike any other LGBT issue-oriented organization, our primary focus is the straight spouse.
If Mary’s ex-husband was indeed abusive, she certainly deserves support. As Carolyn pointed out there are many organizations, in the areas of both Women’s issues and LGBT, that are available. However, the implication in this review, as I see it, is that her husband was somehow not deserving of support. It is not our place to judge, just to provide a safe place for all straight spouses. I am sure the support her ex received was not “against” her but FOR him.