I found this organization when my husband was finally admitting to himself that he was gay (after 35 years of marriage). I had wondered for all those years what I was doing wrong (because my marriage... text
STRAIGHT SPOUSE NETWORK INC
Invite reviews
When I first found out that my husband was interested in other men, I didn't know where to turn. The Straight Spouse Network served those needs for me and serves those needs for people like me, whose world has been torn apart. I am a "client served", and now I serve others who are going through the same thing. We support the people in the group and help them get through the emotionally, and financially difficult process, as we were helped when we first joined the group. And we are models of the truth that "there is life and happiness afterward", even though it doesn't appear that way to people who are new.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
The organization was really valuable in helping me deal with the emotional impact of my husband coming out. There are no other organizations like this in the country. "Dear Abby" just recommended this organization to a woman who found out that he husband has been having gay affairs throughout their marriage.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
If I had a lot of money, I would donate more than I do, so that they had more money for outreach and publicity as well as face to face meetings.
I found this organization when my husband was finally admitting to himself that he was gay (after 35 years of marriage). I had wondered for all those years what I was doing wrong (because my marriage was not what I expected marriage to be). I found the support to be wonderful. FINALLY people who understood what I was going through and how devastating this situation was for me. My whole world was turned upside down. The monthly face to face group gave me great support and the e-mail list is full of caring people. I can't say enough about this organization!
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
face to face groups and e-mail lists.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
the understanding and acceptance I have gotten from everyone with whom I have come into contact
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
fabulous
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
have more face to face groups, get more publicity so that people could find them faster and so that the public could understand what devastation the straight spouse goes through, and they could hire more staff to get things done.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
It sincerely saddens me to see even one negative review about this organization. The Straight Spouse Network was literally the ONLY place I had to turn to when I found out my ex-husband was gay in 1998. Imagine, I was a young mother with four children all under the age of 8. I had been out of the workforce for 8 years and was totally isolated. Discovering my husband was gay was devastating. The Other Side of the Closet was a book that saved me. I am sorry if I don't quote this completely accurately, but "when one spouse comes out of the closet, the other spouse goes in." This was the case for me. I remember the night I went online in hopes that there had to be someone else out there that was going through the same thing that I was. I found the Straight Spouse Support Network, signed up for their group and made great friends and finally was able to connect to people who understood what I was feeling. The anger, confusion, fear of what was to come.... picking myself up and helping my children adjust to their new family dynamics. I seriously have the ex-husband from hell but NEVER once in this group was that attributed to the fact that he was a gay man. His being a closeted gay man is what broke up our marriage. His actions afterwards had nothing to do with that. As a mother of a gay son, a survivor of a marriage based on a lie...... I don't know what I would have done without this group.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
learning to move on and helping others do the same.
More feedback...
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
Without a doubt The Straight Spouse Network, and the amazing people I've met there, have kept me going at a time in my life when I thought I could not go on. I can't express how important it is just knowing that there are others out there in my situation; that I'm not alone, and that I don't have to live in someone else's closet out of shame or guilt that I somehow caused my spouse's sexual identity issues. There seems to be so little support for the straight spouse in this situation; it's as if the gay/bi spouse is the only one who's considered courageous for coming out, while we're often thought of as the obstacle that had to be overcome. We lived THEIR lie, not the other way around. I hope and pray that this incredible organization continues to be there for those of us who need it...and there's a lot more of us out there than many care to admit. -Steve S. in NJ
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
Online message boards and face to face meetings in my area.
More feedback...
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
The Straight Spouse Network offered me a life line when no one else was around who understood what I was dealling with. My husband of 23 years told me he was gay and also HIV+. The people in the group offered me support and real advice for my seemingly unreal situation.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
learning I was no alone in my situation.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
Like to see it grow larger so it could reach more people in need.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
The ability to meet others who were in the same situation.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
helpful and knowledgable
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
reach and help so many others in our situtuation by educating people about our experiences.
Ways to make it better...
The organization has mnore funding to reach more people in crisis.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
Lack of funding.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
My husband at the time, after 20 years of marriage, came out of the closet. If I hadn't found the Straight Spouse Network I think I would have fallen into a deeper depression. The people involved who helped me, "get it" meaning they understood what was transpiring in my life and gave me tools to help me cope through this difficult situation. Help not just for me but also for my kids and gave me a much better understanding of what my husband was going through at the time. This organization is a lifeline to sanity. And not only that, it educates the masses as we strive to build bridges with the LGBT communities.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
is that the people I have met are now some of my lifelong friends. My new extended family.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
patient, there at all times for me, compassionate to my situation.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
spread the word on our mission to build bridges wit the LGBT community and to let others know world wide that there is hope nad life after your spouse/partner come out.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
The Straight Spose network was a godsend when my husband came out of th closet back in 1999. He first told me he was bisexual..and I looked online for any type of help to explain this situation. We had been married almost 20 years with 2 kids, in West Michigan, where anything gay is most surely closeted. As I surfed the net I came across the Straight Spouse Network. This support group literally saved my life. It is a very safe haven for the str8 spouse...I was able to vent and cry to a wonderful group of people that new exactly what I was feeling and going through. And the help was extended to my children too. The online support is invaluable. The face to face meetings are necessary............and agian, a safe haven to cry and listen and vent.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
all the faces and hearts of the people who came to this community looking for answers and understanding. The compassion, knowledge, and time involved with everyone is just out of this world.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
all the wonderful people I have met who will be part of my extended family for life. We have a great understanding of each other. We " get it". And we are more than happy to help newbies in this situation with open hearts and arms.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
generous with their time, patient, compassionate and loving. And always available! This was/is amazing.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
speak loudly about the str8 spouse, through larger venues for fundraising, maybe bringing in bigger named speakers........allowing board members/( the ones who speak well to the public) to travel to various events to spread the word.
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
After my husband came out after 25 years of marriage, I was stunned and felt totally alone, facing an unresolvable challenge. Fortunately, I found a San Francisco support group where I met other wives whose husbands had come out as gay or bisexual and, surprise! they were all normal, attractive, intelligent women. My husband's being gay had nothing to do with me! Slowly, with the help of the group and reading,I put together a more coherent and strong identity, integrity and belief system. This lifesaving experience motivated me to found the Straight Spouse Network in 1991 so that every straight wife or husband worldwide could find support and help to reconfigure their true selves, with or without their partners. Since then, watching suicidal spouses slowly regain their inner core only because other spouses were there to connect them with help keeps reminding me why SSN exists and why it must be kept alive and well. Volunteers do most of the work, yes, but a core staff is needed to coordinate its triage, support services, educational publications, and PR.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
my own personal and professional growth
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
find them more grant money to maintain a steady number of staff hours
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
Personal and professional growth for myself as I've worked in the organization gratification from seeing constituents grow, learn, and resolve the incredible challenges faced after their husbands or wives come out gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
supportive, open, kind...and informative. neither pressuring or biased.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
Expand web site content Implement training program for support group facilitators and state/country contacts; Expand PR program to raise the visibility of straight spouses and their post-disclosure issues and awareness of Straight Spouse Network services
Ways to make it better...
SSN had existed when my husband came out
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
Lack of public awareness that straight spouses exist or have unique problems and lack of funds for maintaining a minimal staff to coordinate its worldwide services for straight spouses and mixed-orientation or transgender/nontransgender couples.
One thing I'd also say is that...
Straight Spouse Network is a unique service for women and men whose post-disclosure needs are usually overlooked by outsiders including professionals. Potential constituents: up to 2,000,000 are or have been in these marriages,whether or not they know it
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
In 1979(!) my ex began to face worsening depression. Over the course of the next four years he slowly recognized that his depression had sprung out of the fact that the homophobic world in which he grew up had pushed him to deny that he was gay ... and to feel extremely guilty about the occasional feelings of attraction toward men that cropped up. We separated because he needed to be honest about his identity and his relationships. He could not continue living a lie. Meaning, of course, that our marriage had been a lie. My sense of reality crumbled. I put up a good fight against devastation by plunging into all sorts of activities that affirmed life. I still could not break through the isolation that resulted from the fact that NO ONE really understood why or how our separation differed from any other divorce. I finally sank into profound depression. In the earliest years of the Straight Spouse Network, I talked with a member of this organization who simply "got it" and affirmed that there was a unique kind of betrayal that typically shatters (or at least undermines) parts of the Straight Spouse's world view. That conversation was a breakthrough on the path to healing. I quickly determined that I would do what I could to ensure that others might hear the words affirming that they are not alone ... and that the issues are not about THEM, or because of them, but stem from the very identity of their spouse. and I cannot count the number of people who have told me that they might not have made it without the support of the Straight Spouse Network
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
my own healing and watching countless others move from despair toward thriving
More feedback...
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2010
My former husband was abusive throughout the marriage. After I left him, this network provided him support again me. There are at least 2 sides to every story. My side was not allowed to be told.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
Offer support to both people in the relationship, not just one person.
More feedback...
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
provide support to the other person in the relationship
Ways to make it better...
If I were allowed to tell my side of the story.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About once a year
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I was married for twenty one years. It wasn't until the summer of 2002 that I started finding my husbands lifetime secret. He was gay. Shortly after I asked him to leave, a friend of mine saw an article in Dear Abby. It talked about SSN-The Straight Spouse Network. It is an international organization that lends support through the internet and local support groups for spouses that find themselves married to gay people. I joined the group in the Fall of 2002. SSN saved my life. Yet, it did more then that. It gave me lifetime friends across the United States and abroad. Our mission is to reach out, heal and build bridges. That is exactly what we do. They showed me that I was not alone. They took my devastation and created a new future for myself and my children. Through a horrific time, they gave me hope. I wouldn't be who I am today without thier support. Fondly, Ann St. Croix/NY
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
I had a tremedous impact from this group. I talked with numerous woman who had been married to gay men. Some, still are. I became able to hear the voices of men who had been married to lesbians at a time when I thought all men were evil. I have healed.
Ways to make it better...
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
Meeting other str8s. Hugs always abound. They gave me a voice to be heard so that others don't continue to walk in our shoes.
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
I have met Amity Buxton, the woman who began the network, the Executive Director, The Board of Directors, The Council Members, and numerous volunteers.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
It could reach out to more people. It could provide financial support to people when thier lives fall apart. It could build more bridges.
Ways to make it better...
My husband had chosen to be honest to begin with. He was my best friend. I would not have married him but I would have walked beside him.
In my opinion, the biggest challenges facing this organization are...
Financial. We do not have the mechanisms in place to support a group of over 2 million people.
One thing I'd also say is that...
Until this happens to you, you do not comprehend the impact of it. The world you knew explodes in your face. Your sense of self is destroyed. Your entire past becomes questionable. Your trust shatttered.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
One time
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
I was married for almost 18 years when my husband finally admitted to me that he was gay. I have stayed married and only recently started divorce proceedings, as I feel that it is in both my husband's and my best interest to move on with our lives. I wish him the best in his new life. SSN has helped me to get through the grief and painful parts of discovering that my husband was gay. I have had support from so many people on the email list and face to face in my local area, as well as at gatherings in other locations. I owe a lot to SSN.
The Great!
I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...
the personal support that I have received in the email support online. I owe them so much of my sanity.
More feedback...
What I've enjoyed the most about my experience with this nonprofit is...
the people that I have met, both online and in person. The people of this organization are phenomenal individuals!
The kinds of staff and volunteers that I met were...
people who believe in "paying it forward" and giving back to this wonderful organization.
If this organization had 10 million bucks, it could...
reach so many more people out there who are hurting and need support.
How frequently have you been involved with the organization?
About every week
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?
2009
Filter by reviewer role:
Support This Nonprofit
Help this nonprofit get more reviews
5 tips for getting reviews