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November 23, 2014

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November 23, 2014

I lost my only son to suicide Jan 17th 2013, almost 2 yrs ago now, its been a long lonely road, I am still on antidepressent's which has helped. My friend's have been very supportive too, but don't really understand, so I have joined a support group for this kind of loss, it take's me an hour to get there, once a month, I don't feel quite so isolated being there. I kiss his photo & talk to him every day, I find that help's

My son ran in front of a train, I still can't bring myself to travel on one . i still get nightmare's, but put that down to stopping my anti depressants.

I can't say I look forward to xmas anymore, he alway's helped me decorate the tree, I can't do this now. I wonder how other people cope ? A lovely long term friend has invited me to her house this Christmas. I don't have any family apart from my brother who lives 4 hrs drive away, though we do ring each other every week.

This is a partically hard time of year for all of us without our loved one's.
November 12, 2014

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November 12, 2014

I lost my sister September 14, 2014 to suicide. She poured gas in her van and got in and lit it on fire.She was the one that took care of everyone else. A year before we spent the last 4 months daily of my other sisters life together until she took her last breath. We formed a special bond. I called her sister mom because she was such a caregiver.She had it together and a classy lady is what we all thought. The day I got the phone call I was in total disbelief. Not Nancy,imposible..wrong person. Was like getting hit with a shot gun . I didn't know how to react. I threw chairs and took 3 people to hold me down .I was so angry ,confused, my body didn't know how to react. I passed out. My husband and son got hold of my pastor and she sat with me for hours and just let me talk crazy. I wake up crying out of my sleep almost everynight. I counsel with my pastor which thinks im like a rock and doing great. But I feel at times like im dying inside. I don't know how to do this. I have days when I just go with the moment and other days I feel like I took 10 steps backwards. I sometimes forget she isn't here. She made everything look so normal .She spent the night at my house the week end before and we planned a sister trip with my other sister. She seemed so excited about it. I look back and things now make sense. Why didn't I see it then I ask? But then why would I suspect when she seemed so normal . She did a lot of visiting the month prior to doing this. She was married and had her daughter and 4 grandchildren living with her.She also had a son and two other grandchildren. She so seemed to love life. Will I ever understand this horrible tradgedy? I love and miss her so much .Im just trying to process this. I spoke at her funeral and never shed a tear for the Lord helped me.It was a celebration of her life. I wrote remember me with a smile..oh her laughter was so contagious and her smile lit up the room...please help I don't know how to do this one and I have lost a lot of loved ones.
November 9, 2014
1 person found this review helpful

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November 9, 2014
1 person found this review helpful

Suicide. One of the hardest words to say and understand. No one wants to ever think that this could happen to you. Ever. But it does. Suicide doesn't discriminate. But if you are on this site, you are grieving over the loss of someone you loved. I've been there. I know exactly what is going through your head. Its the most gut wrenching, heart breaking pain to endure. You feel as if the world around you is caving in and you think you yourself will be unable to survive. But you will. I promise!! Its not easy by any means, but let me tell, without this community of strong compassionate people, I wouldn't be here right now telling you that you can and you will make it through this. Its a long tough journey of tears and pain and a whole slew of other feelings that you didn't even know you had or could possibly feel. But again, you will make it through this. You are stronger than you think. All of us are. There are soooo many wonderful people on this site. People to listen. No judgement. People to help you take those very tiny baby steps to feel alive again. Every hour, every day if you need it for as long as you need it. There is no pressure. No harsh words. Only love and support here. And I promise you will get it.
I lost my fiance to suicide. I couldn't save him. He died in my arms. And at that very moment, I'm pretty sure I died too. I was a wreck. For weeks I searched for answers. I couldn't find them. I felt alone and the emotional rollercoaster of pain enveloped me daily. The help we have where I live was miniscule. There wasn't anyone I could call at 2am when I was crying so hard I thought I would just collapse. My friends were there but not in the way I needed them to be. I heard alot of " I know how you feel" crap when I know for fact, they had no idea. I heard alot of "time to move on Michelle and get over it". I heard alot of "hes in a better place now" or "he was a selfish *******". I heard other words that were not very nice. It was a constant struggle. My family was there but again, they didn't know how to help me. I went to counseling but that didn't help either. At least not for me. It made it worse. I literally scoured the internet for more help, More people like me that would understand what I was feeling and going through. Then I found this site. And since then, I was able to take those baby steps in the right direction.
Read the stories. You will cry, smile, laugh, scream, and cry some more. But the people here will help you heal. I promise. You will feel joy and happiness once again but still keep your loved ones in your heart for all time. Remember, they never really leave you. They are always watching over you no matter what your beliefs are. My fiance's name was Scott.
So welcome. There are many people here to help you on your journey. Including me. My door is always open to listen or to help out any way I can. There are forums, posts, stories, videos, other links, etc. Always remember though........that no matter how hard it gets, you will persevere. You are strong, and you are a survivor. You are strong and more so now that you were before. And together as a community, we are even stronger yet. God bless you all.
September 29, 2014

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1 previous review
June 28, 2011

My husband took his life less than 2 weeks ago. The alliance of hope has been a Godsend to me. To share what you are going through with others going through the same horrendous experience lets you kno... more

September 29, 2014

I lost my husband just over 3 years ago. I found the alliance of hope about a week or so following my loss. Loss to suicide is devastating. I didn't know where to turn. I couldn't find a support group in my area and desperately needed to talk with those that could relate.
Having a support
group that are available 24/7 was exactly what I needed. I can come here day or night and know that someone is listening and reaching out.
I was helped and comforted by so many people. They gave me the strength to keep on keeping on. Pulled me up when I could barely stand.
I now serve as a volunteer on the forum in the hopes I can give back a little of what I have, and continue to receive. Thanks to the Alliance I have learned we CAN and DO go beyond just surviving:)
June 28, 2011

My husband took his life less than 2 weeks ago. The alliance of hope has been a Godsend to me. To share what you are going through with others going through the same horrendous experience lets you know you are not alone. Within a couple of hours of my initial post I had responses of encouragement and knew I had found an invaluable support system. My world is torn apart right now, visiting this sight helps me put one foot in front of the other...baby steps.Through the alliance I have found someone going through a very similar situation to mine and we e-mail each other day. I feel I am free to say anything, uncensored to her as she "gets it" We are unfortunately, kindred spirits, we share our pain, talk about our kids, encourage when we can. The Alliance of hope is my life line.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

canada

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

none

September 29, 2014

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September 29, 2014

After the loss of husband to suicide I was frantically trying to find more information and support on the internet, it was then when I came across the Alliance of Hope and I'm so glad I did. It helps to share the excruciating pain and confusion with other survivors who have been through this before. It is a truly healing place, especially for those who may not have many support systems nearby or are not ready yet to access them.
September 27, 2014

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1 previous review
June 23, 2011

This site has helped me to feel like there are others out there who have been through this horrific experience and understand what I have gone thought. It has helped me to know that others have felt t... more

September 27, 2014

I found the forum a few weeks after the death of my partner. Words can not express the pain and sorrow that I felt. To read about others losses and what they felt was a great comfort in the sense that I was feeling similar emotions. A survivor can feel many things and sometimes all at once. Guilt seems to be an emotion common to most and one of the most difficult. Through the forum, I understood that it was a part of the journey, not particular to me. This freed me to let go of it and open the path to healing. Another important aspect of the forum is reading how others heal. The Alliance has a healing compassionate space where we all truly can understand the depths of each others pain and encourage each other to heal. I have been coming to the forum for three years and engage weekly on the forum. I volunteer my time because of how much other volunteers helped me through the very difficult beginning days and weeks. Only survivors really know and understand the many issues associated with losing someone they love by suicide.

More feedback...

Would you volunteer for this group again?

Definitely

For the time you spent, how much of an impact did you feel your work or activity had?

Life-changing

Did the organization use your time wisely?

Very Well

Would you recommend this group to a friend?

Definitely

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2014

June 23, 2011

This site has helped me to feel like there are others out there who have been through this horrific experience and understand what I have gone thought. It has helped me to know that others have felt the same things that I have felt.

The Great!

I've personally experienced the results of this organization in...

Helping me to understand the stages of grief.

Ways to make it better...

If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...

I don't know what to do to improve.

September 27, 2014

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September 27, 2014

I lost my son to suicide about 5 months ago. I found out about the Alliance of Hope after attending a workshop help by the founder, Ronnie Walker. While I'm also seeing a therapist, this forum, the connections, the information has helped me more than anything else. It's a safe, loving place for those of us grieving such a complicated loss. We all wish there would be no need for such a thing but it's become an invaluable part of my day-to-day life.

More feedback...

How would you describe the help you got from this organization?

Life-changing

How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?

Definitely

How do you feel you were treated by this organization?

Very Well

When was your last experience with this nonprofit?

2014

September 27, 2014

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September 27, 2014

I lost my sister to suicide June 23 2014 I was needing to be able to grieve without feeling judged by my family and have found that her the forum has been very helpful.This forum needs to be funded to keep helping more people.There are new people on here everyday looking to talk.People know what I'm going through.
September 27, 2014

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September 27, 2014

I lost my wife to suicide 12 weeks ago. I can honestly say I probably wouldn't be here writing this review if this website and forum was not here. God bless the people who keep this going- it is a tremendous help to people who need it.
September 27, 2014
1 person found this review helpful

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September 27, 2014
1 person found this review helpful

I came upon this forum 7 weeks after losing my son to suicide. Here I found others who not only cared about what I was experiencing, but understood.

At this point, it's been almost 4 years since losing my son. I continue to visit the forum nearly everyday. The forum community has stood by
me and supported me while I walked my healing journey, welcoming joy and purpose into my life again.

Life is once again very good for me, and I credit this forum, the powerful community that participates with that healing.

Namaste,
Sandy
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